Coaching insight: 10 Essentials for Living “Well” Starting Today

body, mind, soul, spirit and you on blackboardPart of any personal development plan is the prioritization of self-care.  Taking responsibility for our overall well-being physically is an important first step in being able to function at optimal levels beyond the physical.  Why? Because our mental, emotional and even spiritual “self” is either supported or diluted by our physical “self”.

The reason it’s important to focus first on the “prioritization” of this is because we all know what we need to do.  And on some level, we all want to do the right things.

In fact, studies show that living “well” is one of the most highly coveted aspirations we share.  Over 85% of us start each year with a resolution that deals with personal improvement in some area of our life.  38% of us have identified health and wellness specifically as where we want to improve.  Unfortunately, these resolutions are also the ones that carry the highest fail rates for success.

So when Nicole Bandes invited me to participate in a series of blog posts specific to self-care it was an easy “yes”!  The request was to provide a list of “10” essentials.  As you will see, mine doesn’t conform to the typical “health & wellness” top ten list.  There’s nothing there about achieving your ideal weight or telling you how many servings of vegetables you need.  I’ll leave that kind of instruction to the experts.  The list I contributed is about the framework.  It’s about you and your lifestyle.  Because it’s the framework that is going to drive success that is sustainable.

Here is my list:

1)      Set the right goals (Get these right.. the rest will follow!)

2)      Recognize hype and don’t fall for it (Enough said…)

3)      Choose your friends carefully (This one may be surprising..)

4)      Hydrate! Hydrate! Hydrate! (Enough said…)

5)      Know what you’re consuming  (This isn’t just about the food we eat…)

6)      Set yourself up for success with the right tools (Where we often fail…& the easiest to fix!)

7)      Log your key activities (Write it down…)

8)      Track your progress (Review the results..)

9)      Begin each day with an essential health activity (BEGIN – do it FIRST!)

10)   Renew your commitment to your health daily (This is about today. Yesterday is done and tomorrow is waiting.  This is today.)

To learn more,  you can read the entire post here and also check out some of the other articles and contributors.

After reading the article, think about which of these ten are where you are the most vulnerable.  Start there.  Make that your first essential health activity.  Renew that commitment daily.

And then create your own list.  I’d love to hear from you about what yours looks like! Be sure and check back as I share more information here about my own journey to my best self in an effort to come along side you in your own.

Always remember:  Live today like you want tomorrow to be.  And that’s what it will be.

 

 

 

 

Strategy insight: Begin with the end in mind…

The best advice I have ever been given about pretty much everything has come from multiple sources and in different words but the essence has remained the same.

Always begin with the end in mind.

As kids we worked maze puzzles.  Did you ever start at the end?  It wasn’t cheating.. it was smart!  Imagine planning a trip and having to pack without knowing where you are going..  We need to start any endeavor knowing how we want it to finish.  It’s about intention.  It’s about strategy.

It was no surprise to me when I first ventured into writing to learn that many successful authors also followed this formula.  Before they started to write, in many ways they had finished the book.  How? They knew what they wanted to accomplish.  They had a purpose and intention. That meant that the book had its origin at the finish line.  As I am working on my next book I come back often to my vision for the book’s message and what it will mean to the reader. It allows me to stay on track and (for the most part!) on schedule.

What are you about to begin? Can you see the finish line in your mind?  To end there, start there.  Best advice I’ve ever been given is now my advice.  Pass it on.

 

Weekly Insight: Do you have the rarest form of courage?

CourageThere is a powerful statement I have heard many times from thought leaders over the years.  Each time I hear it, it stops me in my life tracks like a flashing light at a railroad crossing:

It’s not what we are doing or where we are going that matters.  What matters is who we are becoming

That belief is at the center of my own personal philosophy.  My manifesto is that our core belief system should require us to have a purpose-driven life.  That means we embrace our unique purpose and live each day as we want tomorrow to be.  We must grow in ways that matter, for ourselves and for others.  Our lives must deliver on our promise, for today and for the future.

I’m currently reading a book by Mark Batterson where that truth was again highlighted.  The specific work, SOUL PRINT is captivating on many levels.  As I’ve been delving into his perspective on our uniqueness and the responsibility that carries for our divine destinies, there were four key points that resonated with me.  I’m sharing those with you here with some of my own thoughts but giving full credit for the insight to Mark as the original architect of the work.

  • Insight #1: The rarest form of courage is to be ourselves. (Batterson)

At some point in life we all become conscious of “image” and we strive on some level to conform to what is “acceptable”.  We’re essentially social creatures and we want to be accepted.  And we quite often fall prey to the belief that to achieve acceptance, we have to become someone other than who we are.  And that brings the deepest form of despair.  The alignment of who we are to what we do is the single strongest contributor to how we feel, about ourselves and our life.  When we experience guilt, stress or anxiety, it is most often because we have an alignment issue. But it will take courage to move past the image and be ourselves.

  • Insight #2: When we adopt a second “persona” we agree to live a secondhand life. (Batterson)

When I first read this particular insight it startled me because it brings into focus the fact that the result is the complete opposite of what we set out to achieve.  We adopt an image that is not true to who we are because we think it will give us something “better”. But in fact, it gives us something far less than we deserve. We are always living in the shadow of that image. It does not empower us, it limits us. The best energies have been “used up” by the original.

It brought to mind something my granddaughter said to me a few years ago that stayed with me.  I asked her why she never wore shirts that had celebrity names or pictures on them like so many of her friends. She looked at me rather stunned and said: “Why would I want to wear something with someone else’s picture and name on it?” How insightful! Why indeed.

In the documentary of her 2011 tour, Katy Perry talked about this clearly. She said that everyone was trying to “place” her – to find a spot for her in the market. They were trying to find another star she could emulate and be the next “??”. Her response was brilliant.  She wasn’t interested in being the next anyone.  She was the first Katy Perry. Wonderful!

  • Insight #3:  Self-discovery is a lot like an archeological dig. It takes time and (some) treasures are hidden. (Batterson)

Here is another point where personal courage comes into play. It takes patience and perseverance to know ourselves. It takes real courage to truly see ourselves. And each layer must be sifted and sorted to understand everything that makes us unique. The good, the bad and the beautiful! As Batterson said, some of our best (treasures) are hidden. We have to be willing to not only seek them but to also bring our best selves into the light. As we excavate who we are, we also discover our purpose because we’ll begin to fully understand our unique talents and their value in the world.

  • Insight #4: The longer I live, the more I thank God for the disappointments in my life. (Batterson)

In so many stories of great triumph, it becomes clear that people do not succeed “in spite of” their challenges.  They succeed BECAUSE of their challenges.  It’s a subtle shift in perspective but it’s everything. We can be grateful for what is happening because we can have faith that what is ahead is only possible because of where we are.  The line from this section of the book that went straight into my journal was this:  “Every past experience is preparation for some future opportunity.”

 

Having that rare form of courage to be ourselves is not an easy path.  It is, however, always the right path. The first step is self-awareness and we then must be able to separate out what in our realm is really a “second-hand” life. We can and must allow ourselves time and perspective. But more importantly we must embrace and celebrate growth from the challenges we encounter.

We need courage to face who we are and courage to grow to the person we can be.

We need courage to be honest with ourselves and honest with the world.

We need to have courage.

But above all, we need to be.

How do you spell change?

Change

Your 5 Step Guide for Strategic Learning

As a life-long learner, one of the areas where I used to struggle was being intentional with my learning.  My curiosity led me down paths not related to any of my priorities and created unproductive distractions.  I become a serial student.  I was draining resources instead of creating them.

Courses were everywhere for only $27 or $47 or $97, etc. and I would be an expert in six easy lessons.  But I wasn’t.  Sound familiar? You think you might need to know that information, if not now, one day for certain and so you sign up.  Quite frankly, it’s how self-help becomes shelf help in the blink of an eye.  Why? Because if you don’t have an immediate need for the information you are not going to apply it.  Without that application, information never transforms to usable knowledge.  After spending hundreds if not thousands of dollars, I knew I had to come up with a way to be strategic about learning while still allowing my curiosity to serve me where it could be most effective.

It was clear that resources for learning were in abundance.  In fact, that was a big part of the challenge.  So many opportunities can make it difficult to know which to select.  I found that the secret is in having a framework to serve as guideposts and then creating space within your schedule for a learning plan.  Following this path will ensure that you remain a lifelong learner and gain knowledge useful for yourself and those your serve.

Here are five guidelines that can help:

#1:  Understand that there is a difference between knowledge and skill.  Gaining knowledge on a subject to deepen expertise gets a different priority than learning “how to do something”.  If the learning is related to a skill, first determine if you should actually be the one doing that activity and if not, hire the skill, don’t worry about developing it personally.  If you need to have a basic understanding of how it works, find 3 respected resources and read their articles (free…) on the subject.  You’ll know enough to know how to hire the right resource to actually perform the task.   There is the benchmark for skill learning:  Know enough to make a good hiring or partnering choice and no more unless you actually should be doing that task.

#2:  Devote a minimum of 30 minutes a day to learning in your chosen area of expertise and influence.  Vary your sources by both creator and media.  For example, if your expertise is personal development, you might read a book by Tony Robbins and go through a video series from Brian Tracy.   Make certain that you are including both established experts/mentors and following emerging voices in your area of expertise.  For example, I follow Jim Rohn as an evergreen knowledge mentor as well as Darren Hardy (Success magazine) as a contemporary resource for today’s application of that knowledge.

#3:  Include personal skill building and development in your learning plan.  This helps keep things balanced and in perspective.  You may not need to learn about Italian cooking for your business but if is something you want to personally learn about and master, give it priority in your learning plan.  Having a depth of knowledge about healthy foods may not help you in business decisions but it will certainly make you more capable and confident in managing your health which enables you to work at optimal energy levels in every area of your life.  If you care about something, study it and practice it.

#4:  Learn alone and in groups.  Studies show that we function best as a student and a teacher when we have some solitary activities as well as group or community level learning activities.  Having the ability to interact about what we are learning can be invaluable in seeing innovative ways to apply the newly acquired knowledge.

#5:  Have a learning vision log.  Have you ever wanted to “find the time” to learn something and could never seem to do it?  Getting those areas of interest committed to a learning vision log gives you a place to refer to when creating your learning plan calendar.  The time you allocate to learning can then be prioritized based on what you want to know vs. whatever comes across your path.  My recommendation and working plan with clients is to make sure that you have a learning vision log that includes an item count equal to one-third of your age with a minimum of 10.  Mix this up between personal areas of interest and what you need to be learning for your business and those your serve.   If this is challenging for you, here are some questions that can help get you started:

  • If time and or resources were not a factor, what classes would you take? (Cooking, art, languages, wine, crafts, sky diving, – you get the picture!)
  • What skills or knowledge do you respect and admire in others? (Perhaps public speaking or writing as an example.)
  • What do you hire others to do for you today that you find interesting? (This was gardening for me…)
  • What skills or knowledge are pivotal for your continued professional success? (Check those forums…)
  • If you could only learn three new things in the next year, what would you choose?

This can and should be fun as well as immensely rewarding!  When you blend personal “wish list” ideas in with professional areas of learning, you will find that the line between personal and professional begins to fade and you will experience the value of personal development in every area of your life.

“An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.”  (Benjamin Franklin)

“Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.” (Golda Meir)