Is anything really everything?

Gears of Life - Balancing Faith Family Work and CommunityThere is a quote often referred to when talking about personal development and peak performance that says that how we do anything is how we do everything.  As I’ve thought about this it became clear to me that it isn’t really that how we do anything is how we do everything.  A better statement is that how we do anything affects everything else.

We are better at some things than others.  We do have more discipline in some areas than others.  Because we care about some things more than others.  But the point is, that if we’re not on our game in any one area, if we cut corners anywhere, it’s going to show up in both likely and unlikely places.

The reason this has been an area of thought for me recently is that I’ve moved health off the “back-burner” as a priority.  It has come front and center.  Getting committed to good health starts in the mind.  It may be our bodies that do the “heavy lifting” – but our minds control the process.  In the past, when it came to mindset and motivation though I would seem to always get stuck.  I realized that I had to look beyond health to find sustainable motivation.  That is where this principle came front and center.

Unhealthy living costs more money.  It just does.  We waste more money on unhealthy food, we spend more on medications and doctor bills.  In my case, I ate out far more than I needed to for convenience and it wasn’t healthy eating either.  And it cost a lot of money.  Far more than buying fresh food and preparing it in a healthy manner.

Unhealthy living costs more time.  Did you know that?  When I realized that it took me longer to do things because I was tired, or not feeling well or just overall not on my game because I wasn’t taking care of myself, time became another cost of being unhealthy.

Time and money.  The two resources we need to be able to invest wisely everyday in order to achieve the life of our dreams.  And being unhealthy puts a burden on both.

How I manage my health does affect everything else.  I have less energy, less money and less time to do the things I want to do.  So there’s the motivation to get healthy I needed.

Take a moment and think about the one area of your life where you know you aren’t performing at the top of your game.  It may not be health for you.  It might be finances, your career, your family, or even your community.  We all have an area where we know we can perform at a higher level.  Now consider what that one area is costing you in every other area.  Quite a different perspective isn’t it?  If our finances are undisciplined, we lack resources for our businesses, our families and cannot give back in our community.  If we do not take care of our relationships, it’s going to show up in almost every other area.  That inter-dependency of all aspects of “us” is the key.

So the next time you want to “cheat” – be it calories, money or anything else, ask yourself if it’s worth it.  I’m tired of cheating myself.  Enough.  How I do anything affects everything.

Food for thought…

 

 

Are we there yet?

A phrase from childhood.  What does that make you think of?  Remember when getting to the next place was so exciting you just could not wait?  Sometimes in life we can forget that getting to the next place is not always what’s important.  Sometimes it’s the journey.

Both of my parents were born and raised in West Virginia.  My father was a Marine and served in the Korean War.  When he returned and they married, they were faced with the decision of where to build their life together and raise their own family.  At the time, the area where their families lived did not offer much in terms of job prospects and the “boom” of their time was in the Great Lakes region in factories and industrial plants.  And so they embarked on that leg of their journey.

Both of my parents were determined to create a family centered life that offered love, security and opportunities based on education and service.  They worked hard to achieve their dream and were always seeking out a way to learn more and give more.  My Dad worked in a factory on the second shift.  Because the job wasn’t all that challenging for him mentally, he saved money to be able to buy a small portable radio to break the monotony of the time.  And he listened and learned from Earl Nightingale.  He also put what he learned into action.  As a result, the factory life didn’t last long.

He was a good mechanic.  Probably a great mechanic.  So he opened a garage and specialized in fixing foreign-made cars.  He understood the value of scarcity and integrity.  He built a business around those principles.

In that time, garages or service stations as we called them were independently owned and they had contracts with the oil companies to sell particular brands of fuel.  When those companies decided to own the gas stations themselves, business owners such as my Dad were faced with either going to work for them or finding a new venture.  For my Dad, it was clear that he would find his next venture.  A friend of the family had already relocated to Texas and was working with the company that would bring Caterpillar equipment into the region.  When he found out my Dad was looking for an opportunity, he knew he had the right one for him.  And he did.  So once again, my family relocated – this time to Texas.  And once again my Dad’s integrity, ability to work with people and to recognize every opportunity to generate value for a customer brought the next season of success.

As you can see, in our home, the highest values other than family and faith were hard work, education and service.  Those values remain with me now.  And those are the values I have worked to instill in the next generations coming up behind me.  But the other message of this story is that quite often, moving on is essential to finding the next opportunity.  There does not have to be fear about it because the important things, the ones that matter, go with us as we progress on the journey.

No, we are not there yet.  Perhaps we never will be.  I tend to think of destinations now rather like perfection.  Somewhat of a delusion.  Rather I like to think of them as stops along the way.  It’s about the journey and taking each opportunity as it shows itself.  Always remaining true to our core values while allowing ourselves to grow.   One of my favorite thoughts on this subject comes from Andrew McCarthy – actor turned travel writer and publisher:

“There’s a certain moment in every memorable journey, often recognized only in hindsight, when the trip you are on presents itself, and the one you thought you were taking or had planned is jettisoned. It’s then that you begin really traveling, not merely touring.”

In closing, I’ll borrow from Shakespeare – someone who certainly understood the art of possibility within the journey.

“To unpathed waters, undreamed shores.”

Behind the quote: A science fiction writer on change

FreedomIn 1995, Octavia E. Butler was the first science fiction writer to receive the MacArthur Foundation “Genius” Grant. Impressive.

She’s also been the recipient of both Hugo and Nebula awards. Very impressive.

As an African-American woman, she also brings great insight about change.

Yes – she can definitely teach us about change.

Leveraging her ability to tell a gripping story, she has been one of its greatest champions.

Here are her thoughts on the subject:

“All that you touch You Change. All that you Change Changes you.. The only lasting truth is Change. God is Change.”

A remarkable woman. A remarkable truth.

A compelling thought to take with us into our own lives.

Honesty & Integrity: Where it all begins..

When someone holds the torch for us so that we can clearly see our way, they give us a gift beyond anything they or we could imagine.  They give us the opportunity to see truth.

One person who has done that for so many is Debbie Ford.  Sadly, we lost her physical light in 2013 but her legacy light lives on.

For me, this short clip from her on honesty and integrity sums up the foundation of her message very clearly.  We must first be honest with ourselves.  And only then can we love ourselves.  Our total self.  Her voice and teachings have raised thousands to an unparalleled level of spiritual and personal awareness.

She learned to live in peace and love.  For herself and her world.  I have no doubt that she will continue on the same way.

Godspeed Debbie Ford.

Integrity & Discipline: Two Halfs of the Whole

Integrity=Disciipline=Keeping PromisesIntegrity is about following through on our words consistently with our actions. Our words are the “promise”.  Our actions are the “performance”.  To have integrity, the promise and performance need to match.

That is true, even when the promise is to ourselves.  Can you relate to that?  Have you ever made a promise to yourself and not followed through?

Does it seem like the priorities and commitments you make for YOU seem to drift to the bottom of the never-ending “to-do” list?

If I say that I value good health but I do not act in the best interest of my health, then I have an integrity issue.  If I say that I value financial freedom but I do not practice good financial disciplines, then I have an integrity issue.  If I say that I value relationships but I do not invest in them, I have an integrity issue.

We cannot give (or teach) what we do not have (or live).  Before we make promises to others, we need to look at the promises we have made to ourselves.

What promises are we making to ourselves that foster our growth?  Are we keeping them? What promises are we making to others to foster their growth? Are we keeping them?

Integrity and discpline are twin spirits.  One is reflected by the other.  Brian Tracy said it best when he defined discipline as “doing what you resolve to do”.  Isn’t that also integrity?  We do what we resolve to do.  We keep our promises.  To ourselves first and then to others.

 

 

 

Breaking through…

At times, our lives just stream by and we fail to pause and reflect on whether or not we are where we want to be.  We quite simply are where our lives have brought us.  The idea of taking back the reins of our lives seems like one of those ideal images of the future rather than what we can have right now.  Responsibilities, obligations, commitments or any other tag we put on the “stuff” that fills our calendars and days have become more like strictures rather than structure.

When I need to re-center and bring my best self back into focus so that I can function with the highest levels of creativity and purpose, I look to these ten principals to guide me:

  1. The only rules that apply are those that I have accepted.  By accepting (or not accepting) any guidelines, I am also accepting responsibility for my choices.
  2. Fear is not a bad thing.  Fear is a healthy thing.  Because it means I respect what I am undertaking:  Respect of consequences and acceptance of responsibility.  Taking action with accountability makes fear a friend, a guidepost for where I need to pay attention.
  3. Fun is a good thing.  I aspire always to have more fun in everything I do.
  4. My vision for the future is my decision touchstone. I recognize that what I do today is forming my tomorrow.  I do not think about what might have been.  I act on what will be.
  5. My surroundings reflect my values and appreciation for beauty.
  6. A curious nature is my most valuable resource.  My most powerful tool is the right question.
  7. I do not think in terms of success or failure.  I think in terms of action and effort.
  8. A change of scenery is often the absolute best way to achieve a change of perspective.
  9. I invest time as a resource. I do not try to manage my time.  My priorities are how I determine how my time is spent.
  10. Creating value for others is the most important contribution I bring to the world.  I understand that I must focus on their need vs. just what I want to do to have significance.

When things seem a bit out of kilter, by going through these principals I can always find the one that brings everything else back into focus.

What would you put in your manifesto?