I grew up in northern Ohio. Very different from where I live now in south Texas. Looking back, one of my favorite aspects of living there was the cycling (or perhaps recycling…) of seasons and their influence on our lives.
Watching all of the recent weather reports and pictures of extreme cold has reminded me of just how aligned our lives were to those seasons. Certain activities naturally fell into each one. The freedom of riding your bike was one of the joys of spring that stayed with you into fall. Watching the snow fall and building snow forts and sledding with my brothers created some memorable times from the winter season. Our lives held a place for certain activities based on the season. It gave us something to look forward to and as a result, I believe trained our minds to not just expect change but to embrace it. It seems a bit of a mystery then why if that is the case change still seems to be a bit of a struggle. Why does going from “here” to “there” seem so frightening? After all, I couldn’t wait for the next season as a child.
I believe the answer lies within the fact that what we experienced as children with seasons and school schedules and all that goes with those transitions held at least some element of familiarity. Summer came around and around but it was always summer. We welcomed the seasonal changes because we knew what the next one looked like, smelled like and would feel like. School may have progressed with its level of challenge but it was still school. We knew classmates, probably already knew most of the teachers and other than major milestones, knew the building and place. Only a portion of our life experience was changing.
Today however with the influence of technologies and the general rapid rate of change everywhere that is not always the case. Sometimes we have no idea what is next and we feel a bit like the tightrope walker going from place to place with no net below.
I have experienced significant (and multiple) changes over the past few years. This is an intimate topic for me and one that I believe is at the center of how we as human beings learn not only to live our best lives but to also help those around us do the same. My journey has included changes at home with my daughter getting married (empty-nester!); the loss of a job that I truly enjoyed (empty-job!); and, a health crisis that required months of treatment and changes in lifestyle (empty-health!). But somehow through all of that, what has resulted isn’t a life that is less – what I have experienced is a life that is more. My relationship with my daughter has deepened and my grand-girls are my delight. My new professional life and work is far more fulfilling. And my health is better than it has been in over a decade. But at the onset of each of these changes, I could not see or even have imagined where the path would lead. There were times that I was indeed feeling like that tightrope walker. But my net was my faith and a belief in myself and my ability to chart my own course.
Here are the three principles that have served me through these and other transitions and allowed me to go beyond a change of place (or other life situation) to a place of growth and even joy:
1- I take full responsibility for my life. No excuses. My choices. My responsibility.
2- My vision of the future is my touchstone for today’s decisions and actions.
3- The answer can and will always be found when I ask the right question.
There is abundant freedom in these principles. I share them with you with the hope that they speak to you as they have spoken to me.
Never forget that our best days are always in front of us. There is more value in the rest of your story than you can possibly imagine. Live today like you want tomorrow to be. Live well.