What Questions Would You Ask?

QuestionsLong ago in a land far away when I was a teenager, my favorite part about the Sunday newspaper was an insert about a particular celebrity.

The article answered a standard series of questions about them and their lives. It somehow made them more human, more like me.

All was revealed: their favorite movie, book, song, even words; all things that gave us insight to who they really were.

Even in those pre-social media days, those articles influenced the economy and industry. The books they liked became the books we bought. The moves and songs they claimed as favorites influenced our own cultural choices. These weren’t paid endorsements like commercials. We believed, albeit some might say naively that this was indeed who they were. And we believed our lives could be more like theirs, if we were more like them.

A similar kind of insight can be found today watching interviews on Inside the Actor’s Studio. This television show has a similar premise. The host (James Lipton) asks a series of questions of famous people. It would seem to be a format that has been and continues to be incredibly successful.

Why is this interesting to us? Why do we care? What if it is more than just wanting to be like them? What if at the core we really all just want to connect? These platforms both then and now bring that person into our realm. It allows the connection.

There is of course risk with this. You may find you like someone better, or perhaps not as much. But always you feel as if you now have insider information. You’ve been brought into their inner circle. While it can be argued (and should be) that in fact we do not really know them, there does seem to be some insight into the “why” of their life. The bond created in many cases converts us from mere fans to advocates of their personal causes. Especially today.

This is an interesting idea when we expand it to think about our connection to those within our daily lives. What if we allowed that same level of curiosity to come into play about the humanity of those we interact with everyday in our own communities, at home and at work? When was the last time you asked someone about a book they have read that left an impression? Or what movie has recently touched their heart? Do you know your child’s favorite word? Their favorite sound? What if we allowed ourselves to peer in a bit to learn what we could to better connect with them inside their world?

What questions would you ask?  How can you make certain that you continuously gain personal insights for those in your daily circles? What knowledge would help you create more value?

We all know that questions are a powerful tool.  They can change our perspective as well as those answering. In changing our perspectives, in the end we have the opportunity to change everything.

Not sure where to begin? What do you think they would like you to know?  Maybe just start there. Ask them that.

Live (Connect) today like you want tomorrow to be. Live (Connect) well.

 

It’s not just another day. It’s a gift.

As we come into this season of gratitude, I went back to the archives to find one of my favorite videos featuring time lapse photography from the incomparable Louie Schwartzberg.

The first time I featured Moving Art on the blog was in 2013.  I found myself sharing it again in 2014. And now it is appearing for this year. It is a work that continues to come back to me and stays front of mind because its message is so compelling.

Our days are as unique as our fingerprints. No single day is just like another. That philosophy is expressed here beautifully.

We spend our day well when we treat each one as if it is our first and our last. By doing that from a place of gratitude, that spills out to the world as a blessing and our day is enriched even more.

“You think this is just another day in your life.

It’s not just another day.

It’s the one day that is given to you today.

It’s given to you. It’s a gift.

It’s the only gift that you have right now.

And the only appropriate response is gratefulness.”

Live today like you want tomorrow to be. Live well

 

Where did I put that?

Woman Searching For Something In DrawersYou know the moment I’m talking about. You had it and you put it somewhere. Now if you could just remember where, you could get it back. You really need to find it. But it seems the harder you try, the more elusive it gets. Perhaps it’s your car keys, your glasses, a book, a bill, a favorite shirt. You had it and now you cannot find it. It can be frustrating, even a little maddening.

But perhaps it’s something more. Perhaps it’s your money, your time, your health, your friends, other things of value that seem to be slipping from your grasp and you’re struggling to better manage and keep up with them. You know it was there, but where did it go? Where did you lose it?

It happens to all of us. One of the reasons it is showing up more and more could be that we think it’s a matter of just finding it again, a once and done sort of thing. But that is not the case. Keeping track of what matters is not a one-time thing or even a sometimes thing, it’s an all-the-time thing.

Since this continues to pop up in my own life and I hear it increasingly from clients and friends, I am more convinced than ever that at the core of this is the fact that we are still not fully engaged every day with our values and priorities. We say that we are and yet, we are not living them. It can be a struggle or it can be a strategy. The choice is ours.

This is the true meaning of “Live today like you want tomorrow to be”. It all comes back to us and how we are living our values and the priority we are giving them in our day to day lives. It requires us to be honest with ourselves about what we want, where we are and what we are willing to do to close that gap.

Here are a few places we can check in with ourselves:

  1. Bank accounts – Do they reflect your values and priorities for financial responsibility and freedom? Are you being strategic with financial resources? When you want something are you looking at the true cost or just the payment? Do you spend like a consumer or an owner?
  2. Personal calendars – Ah, time. The great equalizer! Do you keep a calendar? That’s the first question. If not, perhaps that’s where you should start. Create a written record of what is happening and then begin to see how it changes because now it is about where you are choosing to be vs. where you are showing up.
  3. The pantry – This is currently one of significant importance for me because health is not only a key value, it’s a new priority. So my refrigerator and pantry had to become my friend, my partner and not my enemy! They could not pulse with temptation; they had to provide healthy options. Once again though, it’s a continuous commitment. The cupboards being bare can be almost as detrimental as having poor choices.
  4. Personal libraries – Did you know that one of the key resources identified by highly successful people as pivotal to their success is their personal library? Today this isn’t just about physical books; it’s about all kinds of media and resources. What do you have at your disposal and what are you leveraging for personal development? Many people tell me that they are life-long learners and yet when pressed for information about what they are learning now, it is undefined and certainly not strategic. How easy it is to change that! Whether it is a book, a class or even a subscription to a magazine, blog or podcast, having this in our daily routines is powerful and life changing.
  5. Our friends and families – A core practice within business, particularly for leaders is something we call a 360 degree or peer review. Getting feedback from those closest to us is invaluable in helping us gain a new perspective about our role and contribution. We often fear these because we think it’s about critique. But that is not always the case. In fact, from my experience, it can be just the opposite. Here is a good way to start: Choose the five people most important to you from your inner circle. A combination of friends and family is helpful but it really depends on you. Ask them to rate your relationship (not you – your relationship) on a scale of 1 to 10 for a level of satisfaction. If it’s anything other than a 10 –ask them what you would both need to do to make it a 10. It’s a conversation that has completely changed many relationships (and lives!). .

If this all sounds over-whelming (or like too much work!) then pick one and focus there for the next 30 days. Layering change is often the best way for creating lasting change. But get started. Find out where you put those all important things and reclaim them! Know where they (you!) are everyday.

Live today like you want tomorrow to be. Live well.

Staying the course – Finishing the race!

Finish the race

Successful people seem to have an uncanny ability to adapt and adjust in the right places at the right time in order to make it to the finish line every time. Join their ranks and be confident in your personal perseverance power by adopting these five principals as your own.

#1:   Keep your eye on the finish line

What is waiting for you at the end? What is that promise?  When we stay focused on the end goal, it gives it a magnetic quality that will help pull us through tough times and circumstances.

#2:   Fuel your fire

Mother Teresa taught: To keep a lamp burning we have to keep putting oil in it.”

How are you keeping your commitment vital and alive? What are you feeding to your internal energy furnace?

#3:   Focus on consistent steps – not leaps & bounds

What we do daily has a much higher impact on the results than what we do weekly, monthly or occasionally. The stream must be constantly moving to wear down the rock.  When you are consistently working on something, you will attract even more opportunity.

#4:   Make everything serve the goal

This is not just fortune cookie wisdom. Determined focus is what delivers destiny.  That means you must bind together all of your resources and deploy them as a single force of power.

#5:   Don’t be afraid of set-backs

What scares you? For most of us, it is failure.  To move past the fear, we have to redefine failure. Failure is rarely a valid judgment.  Your plan is going to change.  That is not failure.  That is intelligence at work. Define attempt as research.  It is welcome progress.  Embrace that thinking.  And you will re-channel the fear and stay on track.

Enough for the day…

stockfresh_2655114_time-management_sizeXSRecently I have had some moments where there has been a sense of overwhelm. My vision for my life and work is considerable. More than I have ever allowed myself.

Because of my commitment to life harmony, another first is that it touches every part of my life. The vision includes my health and fitness; the work I want to do in the world; and, the daunting task of finishing and launching my next book.

Each of them matters. Each represents a valued priority in my vision and purpose at this season of my life.

I am no stranger to taking on more than seems reasonable. I thrive on the impossible deadline. The pressure of more to do than time to do it keeps my performance at its peak. But lately, it’s been different. I started to feel an internal shift saying “enough”. But I know it’s not the right message. The message needs to shift. Because my “why” is very powerful and there can be no compromise allowed. There is an art piece in my office that says this: “If we did all the things we were capable of doing we would literally astonish ourselves.”  No author is credited and I’ve never found a claim for it but those words challenge me every day. Every day I am driven to astonish myself!

As I’ve thought about this it became clear that when we begin to feel overwhelmed, it is undoubtedly because we begin to focus on the distance we have to travel to the “end” vs. the actual work. In this season of life what I have come to know is this: There is no end.  There is only now and next.  I can’t tell you or myself what the “end” of this work looks like. And within that realization is the miracle.

So when we feel that overwhelm for doing “enough”, let’s shift it to “enough for the day”.  We only need enough for the day because we must stay hungry. We must stay motivated. Most importantly, we must continue to put our faith in our promise and not in our current provisions. We stagnate when we look too long at what we have instead of what we are capable of becoming. A part of that miracle is also that our promise is never limited because we continue to grow.

A mindset shift. A shift that keeps us on the “edge of what’s next” every day. By doing enough for the day. Knowing tomorrow brings its own work.  And it will be good. It is stunning to realize that within each of our days there lies a snapshot of our life. That means every day we can claim that: “Today will be my best day.”

Live today like you want tomorrow to be. Live well.