6 Ways to Leverage the Past Without Living There

January 30, 2014 By

iStock_000005283419XSmallJanuary is almost behind us.  Has it flown by for you?  That has been the case for me this year. It seems as though it was just a blink ago that I was sharing the holidays with my daughter and her family in Oklahoma.  And some days it seems like just a blink ago that I was sharing the holidays with her as a young girl here at home. On days like today where the rush of time passing gives me pause, I am reminded of the value in looking back even as we live in the present.

This is one of those subjects where then can be some pesky “fine lines”.  There are endless debates and writing on looking forward vs. looking back almost making them seem mutually exclusive of each other.

Like me, you have no doubt seen the many social media posts that talk about the “good old days” with a bit of a nostalgic, even bittersweet angst.  Those images can appeal to the sentimental yearnings of our nature.  However, they can also distort our perspective and set us up to somehow pit the “old days” against the “new days” in some sort of bizarre competitive dance.

One that I found amusing recently had a picture of an old hand crank operating wringer washing machine.  Since that was something I actually used one summer I spent with a Great Aunt and Uncle, I could say I definitely remember that one! But I certainly don’t want to trade the multi-everything version I have today that allows me to multi-task laundry with just about anything else I do.  Anymore than I want my old typewriter back. I enjoy the luxuries of modern tools!

On the flip side, we also see many messages directing us to turn from the past.  After all, we don’t live there anymore.  We are encouraged to stop looking back at all and to only look forward.

So which is right?  When we face these kinds of questions, it is where we can miss the opportunity to gain the best we can from every part of our life.  We want to make things “either or”.  But the truth is that there are very few times when we have to choose, or at the very least, we don’t have to choose exclusively.  It is about perspective.

There is a difference between looking to the past and living in the past.  Let that sink in a moment.  We can look to the past without living there.  That means the richness of the past can continue to serve even as we move to the future and all of the new opportunities afforded to us.

Here are six ways looking back can clearly serve us.  Using this as a checklist, we can keep things in the right perspective.

The first three focus on others from the past.  These can be those from our personal circle or legacies from a broader stage.

-To honor those that made a difference in the world and our lives

-To learn from the experiences of those that traveled this path before us

-To be inspired by the example of others that faced relatable challenges

Here in the USA, we all pause on September 11th and remember those that showed the world the face of courage.  Each year we honor our veterans.  Several of our holidays focus on specific figures from a shared history.  Think for a moment about the popularity of quotes from historical figures.  We pay attention to the wisdom expressed because we acknowledge the legacy of the speaker.

The next three focus on our personal experience.

-To see how far we have come.

Sometimes the road ahead can shrink just by looking at the road behind.  This can be a highly motivating use of looking back.  Even if we haven’t come as far as we’d like, that can be motivating as well.  It’s a check-point practice.

-To leverage knowledge from a previous experience.

We want to repeat solutions that worked.  And avoid those that did not.  When we are faced with a challenge, it is productive to think back to another time when we were faced with something similar and came through.  What did we do?  What can we use in this situation?  This can also boost our self-confidence and allow us to handle challenges with more agility because we’ve mentally already overcome them simply by remembering past victories or knowing what pitfalls to avoid.

-To give ourselves the opportunity to change our perspective.

Sometimes in life, particularly where there has been some pain, it can greatly distort our perspective about a person, an exchange or an event.  Distance can be a great leveling period that allows us to diffuse the more acute emotional responses and see things with a clearer mind.  That allows us to change our own perspective and hopefully, be open to learn, to forgive (ourselves or others) and to build on a stronger layer of understanding and empathy for others.

Three based on others.  Three based on ourselves.

Begin today.  Look to the past.  Embrace it.  Leverage it.  But don’t live there.  Use it to make a better tomorrow:  For yourself, your family, your community and ultimately, our world.

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , ,

Setting up for success – Five R’s that make a difference

January 16, 2014 By

One of my favorite roles when I worked in corporate management was mentoring young managers coming into the group. Being a part of setting them up for success was very rewarding. As a mentor, what we share is the result of proven experience. To mentor, you need to have succeeded and you need to have failed.  It is the culmination of what worked and what didn’t and observations of all the “what when, why, where, and how’s” of good practices.

you can do it word banner hold in hand stock vectorThat is still one of my favorite roles now as a life strategist and mentor.  Whether we are talking about daily practices for our life or our business, many of the same principals apply.  After all, what we are looking for are the best results we can achieve from the investment of our time, energy and other resources.

There are five areas which are often over-looked that have made a significant difference for me in achieving my own goals.  They are rate, recurrence, ratio, resilience and risk. In today’s post I am sharing with you why these matter and how to begin considering them when reviewing your own daily practices.  These have been pivotal to me and changed my results every time.

Rate

The rate or pace at which we do something impacts the results.  If we rush, we might be creating a higher risk of errors.  If we go too slowly, we might potentially risk losing interest. And the rate can also affect results based on its affect on efficiency.  For example, if I want to achieve my ideal weight one of the action goals I am going to set is for certain activities every day.  Some of those need to be cardio activities that increase heart rate (safely) and cause my body’s furnace to operate at its peak.  That means the rate (or pace) is very much a factor.  Even walking that is the case.  The effect of a leisurely stroll is far different from that of a power walk.

Recurrence

How regularly we do something is also a factor.  Using our health example, if I don’t exercise with the right recurring schedule I diminish the value and get a poorer result than if the schedule is optimized. Recurring activities done properly are also what generate mastery. Remember that the majority of what we need to be able to do comes from skill, not talent.  Talent might begin it but skill is what will determine the real quality of the end result in most cases. And skill comes from relentless repetition of doing it right.

Ratio

When we talk about ratios, we are talking about the power of the relationship between certain activities. All too often we neglect this and get discouraged when we don’t see the results we want from the work we are doing. The challenge is getting those ratios right for other activities. In our health example, the obvious ratio here would be between what we are eating vs. our activities.  We have to have the ratio right to get the result.  One influences the other without question. But there are other ratios as well.  Determine what activities impact each other and optimize their ratios. When you do, you are optimizing your results as well.

Resilience

Nothing works every time all the time. It just doesn’t. There are always variables and influences that come into the picture. Our ability to be resilient and resume our daily practices is going to be major influencing factor in the ultimate success of our efforts. That is why every day matters. Each day we put ourselves back on the path to our ultimate success by the choices of that day. Whatever came before diminishes because of what we decide now. And whatever comes later is going to be the direct result of the latest decisions we’ve made.

Risk

One of the first questions we should ask when we set a new goal or objective is why we haven’t already achieved it.  If I use the healthy weight example, the question would be “why am I not at a healthy weight now”.  There is tremendous insight in this question because it helps us discover potential points of failure. Where are those risks? What steps can we take to eliminate or mitigate them? Being aware of potential threats is a vital part of our strategy.  When we know where they are we can take steps to manage them. That becomes part of our questioning thread.  For example, the question of why I am not healthy now would then prompt the next question of what I can do to remove that threat or obstacle going forward.  In my personal story, it resulted in a massive clearing out of the pantry, refrigerator and freezer and continued monitoring of what I allowed to be there.  Before we can eat healthy food we must have healthy food.  Conversely, the best ways to stop eating unhealthy food is to not have it available. It sounds simple in theory (and it is) but it requires specific action to make it happen. That is the essence of managing risk.

Rate, recurrence, ratio, resilience and risk: Can you see where one or more of these might be where you need to shift your focus in order to change your results? Sometimes it helps to have another perspective when we look at these questions.  Our laser strategy sessions are designed to help.  Are you ready to get the results you’ve been missing? Let’s chat!

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

There’s a reason they call them “power” habits..

January 9, 2014 By

Have you ever wondered why you didn’t stay with something?  Have you ever thought you lacked self control or had no discipline?  The fact is that we can and do stay with things.  We have self control and we have discipline.  It just might not be where we’re looking for it.

PowerWhen I began to understand that we all have the same capacity within us to achieve whatever we committed to, my life began to change.  I took responsibility.  I discovered my values and set my priorities; and planned my life to honor them. And I created what I now call my Power 5 or P5 practices.

One of the thought leaders that I enjoy and learn from every time I hear from him is Robin Sharma.  In his Little Black Book for Stunning Success (visit his website and get it if you don’t have it already!) he talks about this subject and shares his own personal daily practices that bring him personal power.  Some of his practices were aligned to mine.  The list below combines them:

  1. A morning writing routine.  One approach to this comes from Julia Cameron in our program The Artist’s Way.   Personal development expert Brian Tracy advocates beginning each day by re-writing your top ten goals.  What works for me is to take the time to center my thoughts through expression.  This can be digital writing, hand writing or even recording your voice.  But create a journal that is part of your routine. I’ve done a prayer journal, a gratitude journal and for one period of time I did a health journal.  Choose to write and then write what you choose to.
  2. A morning “movement” routine.  This can be stretching, walking, a work-out; whatever meets your own need best.  Sometimes it’s good to alternate but have time devoted to your physical body.  Remember that this is part of a routine that’s going to generate “power” in your day.
  3. A morning nourishment routine.  Are you someone who skips breakfast?  Stop.  It was the one “habit” hardest for me to break that has made the most difference.  A smoothie, a piece of fruit – something that generates fuel.  I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase – “If you want the lamp to keep burning, you must put oil in it.”.
  4. A morning spiritual routine.  This can be reading; can be listening to music; it can be meditating or prayer or any combination.   This is a personal space but extremely important.  God created us as a multi-dimensional being and we must care for each of those dimensions.
  5. A daily learning routine.  This is the only one that I have as optional on timing because sometimes the learning activity is scheduled for a class or requires additional time.  But each day should have some activity included that is about enhancing your skills.  Whenever I do not have an actual activity planned, I spend at least 30 minutes reading or listening to an audio tape.  This is also a great one to do in conjunction with the physical routine.  The key is that it has priority and it part of your daily plan.

Sometimes when we don’t know what our next “big adventure” is going to be; the best thing to do is to just focus on these daily practices and let it unfold.  Another example of “living the question” and letting the answers just come.

A valuable lesson I’ve learned is that creating meaningful change is less about what we stop doing and more about what we start doing.  Begin here.  Establish your own version of a morning routine.  Stick with it for the next 30 days.  My hope is that you will continue.  There is power in daily practices.

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Personal thoughts & insights, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , , ,

The value of zero based thinking…. (Ready. Set. Change!)

January 8, 2014 By

Time for ChangeChange is more than a choice.  It is a privilege.  Some changes are really visible and immediate.  Others are more gradual and happen over time.  But those changes can in fact be the ones that can generate the greatest difference for us if we are mindful of them.  As we grow through life, we need to periodically look at the choices we made in the past to be certain that they are still the right ones for us.

Personal development expert Brian Tracy teaches this as zero based thinking.  At least once a year (more often if significant change occurs) go through all of your commitments of resources (think time and money) and ask this simple question:  “Knowing what I know now, would I still choose to______?)

If the answer is yes – then the commitment continues.  But if the answer is no, give yourself permission to end the commitment and to do it as quickly as possible.  Since I have adopted this practice, it has proven to be very empowering and has kept me from allowing myself to slide into patterns of investment that are no longer serving me.

This is really impacted by our personal growth.  That could be growth in knowledge, in skill or generally in life overall.  This has been very valuable to me in my personal development strategy.  Because my knowledge is growing everyday, I review the tools I use, classes I take, my professional associations and even the blogs that I follow and mailing lists I stay on at least quarterly.  Giving ourselves permission to adjust externally as we change internally is powerful.  By putting this into a routine practice, it becomes easier to do and allows you to expand your horizons to try new things knowing that if for any reason it does not make sense to continue you have a framework already in place to change again.

One of my favorite thoughts on this subject comes from George Bernard Shaw.  Here is his view:

“The only man I know who behaves sensibly is my tailor; he takes my measurements anew each time he sees me. The rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them.”

What a brilliant way to see this.  We keep changing and as a result, we need to be able to change the things (and perhaps people) in our life and business.

Thought leader Jim Rohn likens this to the difference between a human being and a goose.  A goose must fly in a certain direction at a certain time every year.  It cannot decide to stay north or south or to reverse the schedule.  It’s a goose.  But we are not geese.  We get to choose our direction.  More importantly, we get to change our direction.   He also references not just our person but our place.  If we do not like where we are, we should move.  After all, we’re not a tree.

Simple, practical views that all come back to zero based thinking.  We change and our world changes with us.  That means that decisions we made before that were perfectly logical and good at the time can be reversed without any sense or feeling of failure.  The key is basing it on knowing what we know now, and allowing the course to change.

Try doing a simple review of how you invest your time and money.  Look at each thing within your routine and go through the exercise.  You may find as I did that the exercise itself is powerful.  It gives us an opportunity to re-affirm commitments and to let go of what needs to be released.

Ready. Set. Change!

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Personal thoughts & insights, Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , ,

From here to there to where?

January 7, 2014 By

I grew up in northern Ohio.  Very different from where I live now in south Texas.  Looking back, one of my favorite aspects of living there was the cycling (or perhaps recycling…) of seasons and their influence on our lives.

Watching all of the recent weather reports and pictures of extreme cold has reminded me of just how aligned our lives were to those seasons.  Certain activities naturally fell into each one.  The freedom of riding your bike was one of the joys of spring that stayed with you into fall.  Watching the snow fall and building snow forts and sledding with my brothers created some memorable times from the winter season.  Our lives held a place for certain activities based on the season.  It gave us something to look forward to and as a result, I believe trained our minds to not just expect change but to embrace it.   It seems a bit of a mystery then why if that is the case change still seems to be a bit of a struggle.  Why does going from “here” to “there” seem so frightening?  After all, I couldn’t wait for the next season as a child.

I believe the answer lies within the fact that what we experienced as children with seasons and school schedules and all that goes with those transitions held at least some element of familiarity.  Summer came around and around but it was always summer.  We welcomed the seasonal changes because we knew what the next one looked like, smelled like and would feel like.  School may have progressed with its level of challenge but it was still school.  We knew classmates, probably already knew most of the teachers and other than major milestones, knew the building and place.  Only a portion of our life experience was changing.

Tight-Rope-WalkToday however with the influence of technologies and the general rapid rate of change everywhere that is not always the case.  Sometimes we have no idea what is next and we feel a bit like the tightrope walker going from place to place with no net below.

I have experienced significant (and multiple) changes over the past few years.  This is an intimate topic for me and one that I believe is at the center of how we as human beings learn not only to live our best lives but to also help those around us do the same. My journey has included changes at home with my daughter getting married (empty-nester!); the loss of a job that I truly enjoyed (empty-job!); and, a health crisis that required months of treatment and changes in lifestyle (empty-health!).  But somehow through all of that, what has resulted isn’t a life that is less – what I have experienced is a life that is more.  My relationship with my daughter has deepened and my grand-girls are my delight.  My new professional life and work is far more fulfilling. And my health is better than it has been in over a decade.  But at the onset of each of these changes, I could not see or even have imagined where the path would lead. There were times that I was indeed feeling like that tightrope walker.  But my net was my faith and a belief in myself and my ability to chart my own course.

Here are the three principles that have served me through these and other transitions and allowed me to go beyond a change of place (or other life situation) to a place of growth and even joy:

1- I take full responsibility for my life.  No excuses.  My choices.  My responsibility.

2- My vision of the future is my touchstone for today’s decisions and actions.

3- The answer can and will always be found when I ask the right question.

There is abundant freedom in these principles.  I share them with you with the hope that they speak to you as they have spoken to me.

Never forget that our best days are always in front of us.  There is more value in the rest of your story than you can possibly imagine. Live today like you want tomorrow to be.  Live well.

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Personal thoughts & insights, Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

What a difference a day makes…

January 2, 2014 By

 

Holiday Calendar. New year dayJanuary 2, 2014 – Just another day on the calendar. Nothing unique about this date which is quite a change when you think about all of the focus we gave to yesterday.  Today is when the routine of reality begins to collide with the promises we made for the New Year.  All of those resolutions, choosing of focus words, creation of goals and great intentions are now put to the test.

Because today is just another day on the calendar and our old habits do not know we made all of these new promises.

Old habits are the result of our mindset.  And our mindset works like a thermostat for setting the patterns of our life.  That makes today far more important than yesterday. All days may be created equal, but that is not how they are invested. And the first lesson of faithful is that when it comes to “days”, none is more important than today.

So how do we overcome the gap between the promises we made on January 1st and the realities of January 2nd? How do we create an environment that encourages our success? How do we set ourselves up to keep our promises? To actually live our promise?

The key is recognizing the value of the how we are investing our time, our days.  When was the last time you logged your activities? I’m not talking about just what you enter into your calendar.  This involves everything you do.  If it’s been awhile, that may be a good thing for you to consider doing in these first few days of 2014.  Why? Because we aren’t going to change what we aren’t aware is happening.

Self awareness is the first step to personal development and achieving all of those goals we have set for ourselves.  When I work with clients that want to stop thinking about success and truly start to achieve it, this is where we begin.  Getting a defined starting point is the key to creating the right itinerary for our journey.

Doing the exercise is simple enough.  Just start when you get up and each time you change your activity, log it.  If you use a smart phone – you can use that to log it.  If not – just have a small notebook.  Make certain that you log EVERY activity and the starting time.  You do not have to put an ending time – just a start time.  And remember.  This is for YOUR EYES ONLY.  This isn’t anything you would ever need to show anyone else.  It also isn’t about later judgment.  Even for yourself.  It is just logging what you are doing over the course of a day.  If you can manage a few days – that would be even better in terms of the value you can get from this.  My suggestion is to start on a Thursday or Friday and continue to Monday or Tuesday depending on when you started.  So get five days of logging that include 2 or 3 normal week days and your weekend.

If you are like most of us, there are going to be some surprises in store.  Some will bolster confidence, some will become the motivation you need to take some controls back on your time.  But the insights overall will be priceless.  Think of this as a gift you are giving yourself.  And look forward to seeing the results! Because it is all about your success and seeing for yourself what a difference a day makes!

“All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them.” Galileo Galilei

“People are usually more convinced by reasons they discovered themselves than by those found by others.” Blaise Pascal

“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day of the year.”  Ralph Waldo Emerson

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , ,
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