Are you the next or the first?

Yesterday was all about my newest granddaughter, Keira.  Today was about my first granddaughter, Skylar.  I love the fact that I have the privilege of passing on the wisdom of all the generations before me to these young bright minds.  We have the most interesting conversations!  Since we live some distance from each other, I spend time with her each summer.  We have a list of questions we go through when we reunite that brings us up to date on where we are now and share together how we’ve grown.

Here are three of my favorites from the list:

1)  What was the most interesting new person to come into your life this past year?

For Skylar, sometimes this has been a teacher, sometimes a new friend or neighbor.  But what she shared with me this year is that the most interesting person to come into her life over the past year was in fact someone who had been there before but she felt like she was getting to know all over again – her Mom.  She said that she discovered her Mom is a really interesting person and very talented!  What a delightful and precious thing to hear from your granddaughter about your daughter.  And how nice to know that at nearly 12, she is already discovering the person behind the role.

2)  What was the most interesting book you read this past year?

This one we love because we’re both avid readers.  There is usually a debate as we go over several possibilities and make final choices.  And some years, we simply cannot choose and we allow each other to name two.  But we often share our response to almost a dozen books in the process.  I marvel at how our minds work and how different people can read the same words and be affected in vastly different ways.  And where we are in our life stage can make such a difference.  One year she chose The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe (C.S. Lewis) and it brought back such great memories for me of when I read that as a young girl.  So I made it a point to read it again myself and was able to see it anew from the perspective of those young eyes of the past and the fresher (albeit older!) eyes of now.

3)  What was the most interesting thing that you learned this past year?

This is often the most difficult to answer because the idea of new knowledge is so vast.  But we are usually able to pinpoint it to some area of interest.  Skylar is particularly interested in animals and so in many cases it will be intriguing facts about the latest part of the animal kingdom that has caught her attention.  But sometimes it is something we learn about ourselves, too.  Other years it has been tied to travel.  My daughter’s family takes an RV trip every year to a national park and hike the trails.  They have climbed mountains and go down into craters.  Amazing places!  There are always some interesting facts that she picks up along the way on those journeys.  I love this one most because it means I can share what I have learned which re-enforces the idea of lifelong learners.

As we have gone through the questions this year I thought about the fact that this ritual I have with Skylar binds us together even beyond our familial ties because it keeps us engaged in each other’s lives.  It re-enforces the fact that we not only accept change and diversity in each other, we welcome it and celebrate it.  What a wonderful gift to give each other and something that we would all do well to incorporate into all of our relationships.

For our time today she chose to see the recently released documentary of Katy Perry’s 2011 tour.  I wasn’t sure what to expect but it turned out to be entertaining and insightful.  It gave us more things to talk about.  We both agreed on one thing – our favorite line of the film.  It is where Katy Perry is talking about the time in her career when everyone was trying to find a “spot” for her and figure out what other pop star she should emulate.  You should be the next “??” or the next “??”… She said that she knew that it wasn’t going to work because she wasn’t interested in being the next anyone.. she wanted to be the first Katy Perry.  Bravo!  I loved the lesson not only for Skylar but for me as well!

Brings to mind the words of Oscar Wilde:  “Be yourself.  Everyone else is already taken.”

I am the first and only me.  How amazing!

 

 

 

A funny thing happened on my way home from Portland…

It was around 4:00 AM as I left the hotel in downtown Portland, Oregon.  Kathleen Gage’s (mentor extraordinaire!) Connection Experience was phenomenal and I was definitely still on an energy high.  Great people, transformational (yet practical!) information and just an  incredibly positive weekend.  The driver of the shuttle bus was upbeat and pleasant, handling all of his passengers with care.  My pilots for the flight back to Houston were also on my shuttle run.  The day was off to a good start.

And then it happened.  I approached the security desk and reached for my iPhone to present the boarding pass with my ID and there was no iPhone.  Because my iPhone is basically an extension of my brain (at times I’m convinced it might even be stealing my brain!) that caused a moment of panic unlike any I’ve had recently.  To fully appreciate that moment you might also need to know that my daughter (in Tulsa, Oklahoma) who is 8 months pregnant was at the doctor that morning and quite possibly going into the hospital to bring my next granddaughter into our lives and would be calling me.  My first granddaughter was staying with my sister in Dallas while I was in Portland and I was picking her up on my return.  I was to call them from the airport with arrival information.  Can you feel the panic yet? Can you imagine the whirlwind of maternal emotion going on? I do not know when I have ever felt quite that disconnected from my little corner of the universe.

As I stood there at the gate waiting to board the plane, my mind was going in more directions than I could follow.  And then it happened.  I found peace.  How?  Because I blessed that moment and that situation.  Kathleen spoke to us that weekend about the power of blessing our challenges and those words came to mind.  Bless it.  And I did.  I prayed that the situation would be used for good and expressed gratitude that it had happened.  I asked for guidance and wisdom to know what to do and how to do it.  But most of all, I blessed the situation and found myself able to find a place of peace and gratitude.  I was ready to see how the blessing would unfold.

Once I boarded the plane, I realized that I did have a means of communication after all – my net book.  So out it came at around 30,000 feet. Something I had never done before.  I knew the phone had to have been left on the shuttle bus because I used it to check the time.  By using the card so graciously supplied by my shuttle bus driver, I was able to quickly go to their website and send a message to them detailing the situation.  I got a confirming e-mail from them they had received my message.  I forwarded the e-mail to my sister and then posted a message to her on Facebook (when all else fails.. FB to the rescue!).  I was able to communicate with my daughter and let her know what was going on as well.  There was no stress – only peace.

By the time I landed, my sister had spoken with the dispatcher who was in contact with the driver.  He had my phone and was returning it to their dispatch office.  They in turn sent it to me via Federal Express and at 08:00 the next morning, the Federal Express driver was handing me back my iPhone.  Wow!  All from 30,000 feet!

This was a powerful lesson for me in real life about what had been talked about in more abstract terms during the event.  When we have those moments where the principle becomes so crystal clear it stays with us.  When we are faced with challenges we need to be able to deal with them from a place of gratitude.  To spark that emotion, the simple act of blessing the situation can be effective.  For me it was a prayer expressing gratitude for the situation and the opportunity to learn from it.  A prayer asking for guidance and then just following the path laid out for me.  I had opportunities to express gratitude to real people as well.  My sister, the dispatcher, the driver – everyone that stepped out of their normal routine to provide help.

I am grateful for Kathleen’s generous sharing of her own life lessons.   So now it is my turn to pass it on to you.  The next time you face a moment of challenge, give this a try.  I’m convinced that like us, you will be forever grateful that you did.  Bless it.  Whatever it is.  Bless it.  Amazing things will happen.

P.S.  As a footnote, if you are ever in Portland, Oregon and need local transportation, I highly recommend Blue Star Transportation.  One good turn deserves another…

The business of books…

In case you haven’t noticed, the subject matter throughout my blog this past month has gotten rather “bookish”!  That is because I agreed to participate in an Author’s Blog Challenge for 28 Days in June.  We all need to do things that provide opportunities to interact with our own communities.  Targeted blog challenges are a great way to do that.  The key however is to attempt a level of creativity that allows you to participate within the optimal subject matter for the challenge while still creating value and words of interest for your continuous community.

One of the things that made this challenge unique were the writing prompts provided by the facilitator.  Those prompts just by themselves generated some creative treatments across the various participants.  Some really brilliant writing and thought leadership resulted.  And those were generally the posts where the prompt was not followed literally.  You see we all have as much creative license with whatever we do as we allow ourselves.  We can play within the field, follow the guidelines and still show up with our own incredible gifts and style.   I love that about my communities.

For today’s writings, the prompt focuses on the business of books vs. the writing or creative processes.  This is also often where my own audience struggles within their respective genres.

How do I generate a business base while staying true to my work or passion?  Or perhaps, how in the world can I make money doing this?  The range is broad but the sentiment is the same.

We are great at bringing forward ideas and taking action.  We are not always great at the longer view of the business.  This is true for just about any solopreneur endeavor.  Dentists, doctors, lawyers, artists, writers, actors – all professions where the primary business “brand” is the person and what they do.  This particular group of professions are also ones that can benefit quickly in every area of their business by embracing the idea of books as part of their mix simply because of their business value.

When developing our businesses, we all often turn to the “masters”, the gurus, the industry experts.  We don’t have personal access to them physically but we DO have access to their writings, their books.  Investing in the right library is a great business investment for the solopreneur.  Having that virtual “board of advisors” can only make you better and by extension, make your business stronger.

The next progression can be natural.  Readers of those books can become writers of those books.  Growing a business through book marketing is one of the easiest ways to establish true expert credentials and to also be able to approach others for interviews or collaborative ventures.

When we are innovative with how books are integrated with our business, they can generate revenues beyond their sale.  Book coach and publisher Lynne Klippel wrote a book that she rarely sells.  That is by design.  She gives it away.  Is it worth it?  Of course.  Because the book has been used as a marketing and expert status positioning tool that has generated tens of thousands of dollars in other fees from publishing and coaching.

Even if you do not want to write an entire book, you can still leverage publishing as part of your business plan.  Consider collaborating with other experts in your field by creating a collection of ideas or stories within a single book.  Or write an endorsement for someone else’s book that would put your name and expertise front and center with their audience.  However you incorporate books, with all of the “buzz” today with e-readers, virtual print on demand publishing and information based businesses, you will not be disappointed with the range of value you can generate leveraging books as a business development tool.

But here is the thought that I love when I think about the role of books in business:  When you describe someone who holds the $$ reigns of a company, that provides oversight on the profit and loss statements and everything financial – isn’t it marvelous that they are called the “book”-keeper?  So for authors and the rest of us: Keep the books, literally and figuratively and by extension you will without question improve your business.

Let me tell you a story…

I love a good story.  Don’t you?  It pulls me in and I am transported to a place where I am present.  I am fully engaged with the writer (or speaker).  It is why non-fiction platforms are most effectively delivered in a fictional setting.  As a story.  It allows the reader to take abstract ideas and concepts and begin to see each premise as it relates to them.  It actually makes the material more real.

That may seem at odds with the idea of non-fiction where everything should be “the facts”.  But in truth, fiction itself has some factual basis.  And it is not only possible for the two worlds to merge, it can be powerful.

When I first started going through the coach training program at iPEC, one of the required reading assignments was the book Energy Leadership.  The program is complex and the ideas involved can be challenging to absorb, even for someone highly trained in coaching.  And so I fully expected the book to be somewhat clinical and delve into the levels of energy, the psychology of energy and all of those principles taught within the program.  However, although it did go into all of those areas, rather than being clinical, it was fantastically engaging and after reading it, weeks of classroom instruction crystallized in a matter of hours.  The “aha” moment had arrived.  Why?  Because the author told a story. Rather than regurgitating the material in a clinical fashion, he illustrated the material within a story.  A story I could readily picture happening.  A story I had personally seen over and over again.  By using a fictional setting to illustrate the non-fictional premises, they actually became real.

For me, the use of a good story is fundamentally just good communicating.  And as a result.  Good writing.

Each time I sit down to write, that thought is always present – what’s the story?

Still doubtful?  Consider this:  What lessons did you learn from fairy tales?  From children’s fables?  And here’s one I know we’ll all relate to… how about Dr. Seuss?  Great lessons there.  About diversity, tolerance, perseverance, and yes – even possibilities.  Oh the places you’ll go!!! I suppose after all, that would be my ultimate fictional ride for possibility thinking.  So thank you Dr. Seuss!

 

How do you know?

My mentor Jim Rohn taught that if we want better answers, we must ask better questions.  A shift in perspective, the transformation of personal development, even the transition of a professional path all find their origins in the same place:  asking the right questions.

Everyone wants to know something.  For an author, the list of what we want to know, even need to know can seem endless.  Before we can explain, we have an innate need to explore.

The process does not begin with what we will write about, how we will write about it, where we will find the information we need or who we will trust to provide that information. At least for me that is not where it begins.  For me, it begins with why.  Because before I can find the answers, I must first find my questions.

When we talk about research, it can be helpful to understand that at the core, we are talking about questions.  We are talking about learning.  What I have found is that when we live in a constant state of what I call possibility thinking, the ability to form the right question and find remarkable answers becomes more and more instinctive.  It becomes less of a task and more of a way of being.  It shifts us away from the idea of creating data banks to the actualization of creating life experiences and then synthesizing that information in a way that makes the lessons not only valuable for us, but for others as well.

When we ask better questions as an author, we provide better answers for the challenges faced by our audience.

When we ask better questions as a person, we provide better answers for living our best lives.

No matter what answer we seek, the key to finding it is always going to be first finding the right question.

“Dwell in possibility.”  (Emily Dickinson)  Therein lies the right question.

 

 

What is your FTL?

FTL – Your Failure Tolerance Level.  Do you know what it is?  Do you know WHY it’s at that level? In researching the traits that make the transition from executive to entrepreneur possible, one of the primary areas that kept appearing was the whole concept of failure.  Most corporate environments do not encourage failure.  Starting with our educational system and moving into a corporate environment, we get “failure avoidance” tattoed into our business DNA.  And if you do fail, your primary objective is to make sure that either no one finds out or that if they do, you are not seen as the person responsible.  The result can be that we allow that perspective to shift our own creative set point mentally and emotionally.  It explains why some research shows that even though over 50% of corporate executives say they think they would prefer an entreprenuerial venture, only 30% of that group (or 15% of the total group) will actually make the leap.  They rationally know that failure is part of success.  And since they are highly evolved in the area of failure avoidance – they also end up avoiding success.  

If this is what is holding you back, one of the best people out there for you to latch on to is Seth Godin.  He is the thought leader of several generations on the subject of change in our marketplace and our lives.  And on this particulary topic, he delivers pure gold in his book Poke the Box.  Here’s what he has to say:

“Imagine that the world had no middlemen, no publishers, no bosses, no HR folks, no one telling you what you couldn’t do.

If you lived in that world, what would you do?

Go. Do that.”

Take the next 20 minutes and invest in raising your FTL  – and maybe, just maybe, change your world.  Ready?  Go.