Happy Mother’s Day – A personal reflection on living a life that matters

May 10, 2015 By

potter and studentAs I write this week’s post it is Mother’s Day.  I’ve spent the day with my Mom along with my three brothers and their families. Because of today’s technology, even though my sister was in New York, we were able to have her “join” us through a video call. All five siblings were together to honor my Mom on this day set apart for that purpose.

These marks in time also prompt me to pause and reflect on how blessed my life continues to be.

My personal values have their origin in the teachings and experiences of growing up in a nurturing environment rich in love and high in expectation. By certain standards, it may have appeared that we were really just an average family. We were certainly not rich financially. And yet, we did not live average lives and still do not. There was always an expectation (and example) to continuously grow into more as contributors in our community.

Because of that, we continue to be rich beyond measure. I am so very grateful for that.

The legacies left to us from the lives of multiple generations have instilled a love of family, compassion for others and a sense of responsibility for living an honorable life. A direct legacy from my parents focused on a passion to always strive to grow in knowledge and service. I’ve recognized lately the genesis is here for why I am so driven to keep learning and growing. The distinction though is that it’s not just for the sake of accumulating knowledge. It is to be able to more effectively serve.

I believe that is the key for all of us. This again goes to why I feel so strongly about the value of strategy. We must focus on why we do what we do; why we think the way we do; why we respond as we do. Because those are the questions we must keep asking ourselves in order to achieve the results we want and need.

My message today is very simple and comes from my heart. We each need to know who we want to be. That is the foundation of everything. What are the core values we want to serve because that is ultimately who we become. From there, we just need to keep our lives on a path that provides us with the opportunity to serve those values. It is a much clearer path than we might believe.

The life clutter falls away when we get clear on this one point: Who do we want to be and is that who we are? If so, how do we put those values into service? If not, what steps do we need to take in order to grow into that person? What knowledge and skills do we need to gain? What people do we need to be surrounding ourselves with in order to grow into that person? The question must be asked and answered throughout our life.

Success is empty without a purpose. Success must be invested in something bigger than what it is on its own to be fully realized. That is what I’ve learned and now share with you. This is my vision for my own life and my mission in helping you in yours. There is more value in the rest of your story than you can possibly imagine. That to me is exciting news!

Live today like you want tomorrow to be. For yourself and for those that follow you. I am so blessed and grateful that my own great-grandparents, grandparents and parents all did just that. They were always living forward. They enjoyed their moment in time and invested it in the future. I am so honored to continue to shine a light on that path.

Live well.

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Personal thoughts & insights, Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

The Collector vs. The Collection: A distinction to think about

March 22, 2015 By

As a professed nester, over the years it has become necessary more than once for me to cull through what has been purchased, gifted, inherited, etc. and make decisions about what to keep, give away or toss. That has proven easier with some things than others. This is particularly true with one of my collections.

Stamp CollectionIf you were to visit my home there is something I’m fairly certain you would notice are prominent: Birds. Not live feathered friends requiring care, but images of birds in all artistic mediums. I’m not sure when this particular almost gravitational pull began but I’ve recognized it as being related to my roots and values. I am captivated by the grace and strength of these creatures.

There is something about the freedom of their flight balanced with the care they put into their nests that appeals to me. And their diversity in sight and song is amazing.

Eventually though, space (and taste) mandated that I move from indiscriminately collecting birds to having an art collection that included many different depictions of birds. It was when I made that choice that I began to see a deeper truth.

When we are just a collector, not only do we tend to buy things simply because they are whatever it is we collect, so does everyone who knows us. Not everything we buy or receive really enhances or expands what is already there. That is when we begin to devalue the collection we have built. We run out of space and we run out of enthusiasm. As with anything, being deliberate and intentional raises the value bar. To go from “collector” to “collection” means we protect what is personal and purposeful.

There is a lesson here beyond just physical collections. Are we being intentional and strategic with the people and places we are experiencing? The books we are reading? Are we allowing ourselves to go outside the boundaries of what we’ve always had and experience something or someone new? Are we looking for the deeper meaning of what is drawing us in vs. just the surface appeal?

When we see our days as a collection of experiences and associations that are creating the tapestry of our lives, I believe we will become more selective and that we will evolve beyond just being collectors of whatever comes our way to having a strategic life collection that is powerful and purposeful. What are you collecting?

Live today like you want tomorrow to be.

Live well. Collect well.

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Personal thoughts & insights, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , ,

The gift of a day…

January 5, 2015 By

AbracadabraThis post originally published here on my blog on May 11, 2013. Since then I have read the book mentioned a second time and it continues to speak to me with each reading. There are a few books in my library where that is true.

I read Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist at the end of every December as my last book of the year. It also continues to speak to me. I’ve been giving thought lately to the power of books in my life. As Charlie “Tremendous” Jones taught us: The progress we make is largely going to be the result of the people we meet and the books we read.

Because of technology platforms, we also can take in information, sights and sounds that have the capacity to move us, to inspire us on our journey. That’s also something this post highlights through the video that is shared. You may have already seen it but it’s another one of those pieces where we can gain something from each experience of it.

And so I share it all with you again. Because today is not just another day. It is the one day that is given to you today.

Live well.

Live today like you want tomorrow to be.

Typically, I know within the first few pages of a book when I begin reading if it’s going to move me to an experience that transforms.

It certainly doesn’t happen with every book, even some that I immensely enjoy.  But there is something, sometimes that goes directly to the soul.

I started a new book this morning that may become one of those books.  If the first chapter is any indication, it will be.  It is Greater by Steven Furtick.  It’s about spirituality and purpose which is something of high priority for me but it’s also quite contemporary in terms of context which is very refreshing.

One line from the first few pages leapt out and really did stop my eyes in their tracks.  He said that “The thing is, most believers aren’t in imminent danger of ruining their lives. They’re facing a danger that’s far greater: wasting them.”  The fundamental truth of that should inspire all of us to guard against it.

As I meet people when I speak or in my interactions as a life coach, it has become more and more clear that we have this desire to focus on the long term, the big picture.  And that is important.  There is no doubt that we have to have a vision.  But we must also remember that the vision has to be refined and experienced every day.  Because that’s where lives change.  Not what we want to accomplish a year from now, what we’re doing today.  Today is the gift.  Not next year, not even tomorrow, today.  As we look at calendars, to-do lists and schedules it is what we must be mindful of every moment.  We can have grand plans for the coming year and yet waste today.  So that is where we begin.  Today.  I believe that if we want to live our best lives, we must live our best days.

Recently, I came across a video I had seen before but this time it lingered with me.  And when I read Steven Furtick’s words this morning it came rushing back and I had to find it and watch it again.  It’s a wonderful inspirational piece about gratitude and the gift of time and place.

Here are the opening words:

“You think this is just another day in your life.

It’s not just another day.

It’s the one day that is given to you today.

It’s given to you. It’s a gift.

It’s the only gift that you have right now.

And the only appropriate response is gratefulness.”

 

 

Filed Under: Inspiration & Creativity, Personal thoughts & insights, Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , ,

A new world of chain reactions

September 21, 2014 By

Paying it ForwardOne of the ideas that has intrigued me recently is how we as a society have adopted and are participating in activities designed to create a chain reaction. It’s really not a new concept but for a very long time, unless we were talking about a domino game it wasn’t something we intentionally set out to create.

And yet today we do.

Whether it’s paying it forward at a Starbucks window, taking on an ice water bucket challenge in support of ALS awareness or inviting friends and families to create gratitude posts on Facebook as examples, we as a society are actively looking for ways to join with a cause and make our world a better place.

What is creating this force of good? From what I have observed, it stems from three fundamental shifts that have impacted all of us. First is the  increased recognition that regardless of how different we may be, as a human race, we universally share the same hopes and dreams, and yes, even fears. Technology has created more than a global economy. It has also created a global neighborhood.  Instead of being limited to watching life go by from our front porches we are seeing it from the pages and screens of social media platforms and digital communities. This brings us together in ways we might never have imagined and allows us to appeal to each other’s basic humanity in ways we would never have dreamed possible.

The second part of this is that we’re able to readily see and share what happens when we take those steps to join in. That serves to fuel the fire for more. Imagine that if you just paid it forward at the Starbucks window and never found out you were number 498 in an ultimate line of over 700 as happened recently in St. Petersburg, Florida. You would still take satisfaction from having contributed to that one person but now you can know that you didn’t just impact one person, you were part of a movement in a single day that touched over 700 lives. That can be some pretty heady and “hearty” stuff. It also means that the next time you pull up, you might even be number 1 in an ultimate line of over 700 instead of number 498. We like being a part of good things.

The third component of this is that it gives legs to our hope that there is good in our world. The news is filled with so much heartache.  We need to know about that, too because we are a part of that as well. But when we have the chance to catch sight of that flame of hope for the good in all of us, it is rejuvenating. We can pause amidst the clutter and chaos and take in a moment that is really just about doing some good. Those moments can even serve to stop the chain reaction of some of the heartache.

How incredibly powerful it is to know that we can create good with such simple acts not just in the moment, but within the moments to come as our actions and examples create the genesis of so many more. The video in today’s post is a story board of this. As each person witnesses a kindness, they are inspired to create one of their own. And in the end, the world is a better place. All because someone cared enough to drop the first domino.

How about it? Let’s start some chain reactions in our lives and with our lives beginning today.

Live today like you want tomorrow to be.

Live well.

Filed Under: Personal thoughts & insights, Success & Significance, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , ,

Live today like you want tomorrow to be

August 3, 2014 By

CompassThe title of today’s post has become my mantra over the past two years and forms the core of my coaching programs. I had always been goal oriented and personally driven, my eye to the future. That’s not a bad thing. Unfortunately though, it meant that I was always working toward something instead of being able to enjoy where I was in the process. Once I realized that the best tomorrows result from living them today my life became much richer.

I frequently check-in and re-affirm my connection and commitment to my personal manifesto that resulted from this shift in my centering. It is a reflection of my core values and the principles that guide my life.  As I’m continuing to enhance our coaching programs, I’ve been reminded again of the importance of having this level of personal awareness and commitment at the forefront.

  1. I aspire always to honor God in my thoughts, words and deeds.
  2. I have a responsibility to take care of myself and to live well.
  3. I am here to make a difference and enrich the lives of others.
  4. I recognize that what I do today is forming my tomorrow. I do not think about what might have been. I act on what will be.
  5. A curious nature is my most valuable trait. My most powerful tool for myself and others is the right question.
  6. I acknowledge that time is my ultimate resource. I do not try to manage my time. I set priorities and they determine how, where and why my time is invested.
  7. I do not think in terms of failure. I think in terms of effort and experience.
  8. I appreciate that a change of place is often the best way to change my perspective.
  9. Outside of universal laws, the only rules that apply to me are those that I have accepted. By accepting (or not accepting) any guidelines, I am also accepting responsibility for my choices.
  10. I understand that fear is not a bad thing. Fear is a healthy thing. It is the ultimate expression of respect for what I am undertaking.

No matter where we are in the journey, we must live today like we want tomorrow to be. It is in fact the only way to achieve it.

Live well. Live today.

 

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Personal thoughts & insights, Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , ,

The who, what, when, where, how & why of FAITH

April 20, 2014 By

Faith_Faithful_EasterMy personal focus word for this year is faithful. When I chose the word, it was within the context of being faithful to my promise and to my promises. That is key in my life right now because it is a very real struggle, one that by choosing the word I fully acknowledged. I want to be faithful. I yearn to be faithful. And I have found that it is not easy. Because there are many influences inside of me and in my environment that quite often encourage the opposite of faithful. And some of them are there for a good purpose.

Blind faith is not necessarily a good thing. I am learning that there is a middle ground between absolute faith in something and impervious skepticism. It is the place of the student. One of my brothers puts it this way: Trust, but verify. So what happens when you can’t verify? When faith and trust are in fact the ultimate intuitive judgment call? That is the ageless question that faces many of us particularly when it comes to faith within a spiritual context.

What do you accept as proof? How do you believe purely on the basis of faith at a deep enough level for it to challenge and change you? For me, it comes down to this: We must make a decision, a choice based on what we do know.  In too many cases, we drift into our spiritual belief system based on the experiences of our childhood. We either reject what we experienced because we saw hypocrisy or experienced some perceived personal harm or we embrace it as a part of a legacy we’re intended to continue. Neither of those are, in fact, a valid choosing, they are default responses. We must each make a definitive choice or it is not our belief.

For me, it became a matter of three questions:

  1. Do I know what I believe?
  2. Do I know what I don’t believe?
  3. How do I demonstrate my belief?

The core word in all three questions? I

I often refer to my early mentor, Jim Rohn and on this subject he was a critical catalyst.  Here are his thoughts paraphrased:  Whatever you believe, be certain that is the product of your own conclusion. It is at the core of your personal philosophy and will impact everything you do in life. Start there. Be clear that your belief system and philosophy is the product of your own conclusion.

Are there hard facts to back up my belief? Perhaps or perhaps not. But there was sufficient evidence for me throughout history and in my own life to persuade and answer my questions.

Am I clear about what I believe? Yes. There isn’t anything ambiguous about my belief.

Am I clear about what I do not believe? In general. But it is here that there is always room for study and questions. From that will come more answers. In only choosing to be absolute in what I believe, I have created a better place for continued growth and understanding.

How do I demonstrate my belief? Here is where it all comes together because in truth, I demonstrate it in everything. If it is a true belief it influences everything. I believe in God as my creator. I believe I am made in His image and that I too have the ability and need to create. I believe in God as my companion. I believe I was made for the purpose of having a relationship with God.  That means an active and ongoing conversation with Him where we both listen and speak. I believe in God as my father. This carries the willingness to follow His guidance and teachings. That means I must study those and continue to grow in my understanding of what He expects of me and from me. I believe in God as my savior. This allows me to experience forgiveness and freedom at a fundamental level. It also means that I accept responsibility for the decisions I make and accept their outcome with respect but without fear.

That is my belief. My belief also includes that I was not created to dictate your belief. Only my own. This is the ultimate expression of personal responsibility. To celebrate my own belief I must acknowledge your freedom to choose your own without judgment. Because in the end, my belief was born from ultimate and unconditional love.

  • We create in love.
  • We communicate in love.
  • We grow in love.
  • We live in love.

That is the essence of what I believe and is my faith. It is then the essence and basis of faithful. As I was writing about this today I was reminded that it is only by practicing my faith that I am able to be faithful. A life that is created, shares, grows and is ultimately expressed in love including for ourselves, can only produce a life that has that as its outcome. It is only when we deviate from that guidance system that we falter.

A quote I saw recently was this:  “Strive to be remembered for what you would die for.” Powerful. That is what this Easter is about for me. A reminder that we must always do that knowing by faith that ultimately, when we are remembered for what we would die for, it is because that is what we lived for.  A compelling view of purpose.

Live well.

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Personal thoughts & insights, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , ,
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