How to turn “Once upon a time” into “Here and now”

March 2, 2014 By

When a story begins with the words “once upon a time…”, we expect to hear a fairy tale.  One of those stories where everything is extraordinary and the ending has everyone living “happily ever after”. But those stories also taught us a few character lessons when we first heard them as children.  They taught us courage, perseverance and doing the right thing.  We also learned that happy endings often come at a price, that there is sacrifice as well.

Over the course of time, we stopped remembering the middle of the story.  All we remembered was “once upon a time” and “happily ever after” and so we stopped believing in the fairy tale.

But what if once upon a time could be here and now?  What if happily ever after was not just for children’s stories?  What if we could lay claim to that?  I believe we can.  But we have to put the middle of the story back in.  We have to develop our story, we have to make the sacrifices, we have to slay our dragons.  In other words, we have to do the work.

For many years, any time I was asked to name my top five goals in life one thing on my list was always to write a book.  It was my “once upon a time” story.  And it was definitely staying in fairy tale land for me.  Why?  Because I wasn’t doing the work.  I had the desire but not the commitment.  I wasn’t willing to make the sacrifices I needed to make.  And then I was.

I started to do the work.  I signed up for some writer’s workshops, I participated in writer’s retreats and I started looking for mentors that would be able to guide me down the path of my dream to write that book.  I can’t really tell you exactly when it shifted for me but the shift did happen.  I went from talking about a book to actually working on my book.  I am writing everyday and working with an extraordinary editor and publisher.  It will finish in 2014!

But what really changed?  It wasn’t the desire.  It wasn’t even the skill although that is definitely being aggressively (and enthusiastically!) honed.  What changed is that I started to work.  I picked up that sword from the fairy tale and started slaying the dragons blocking my path.  And I made the sacrifices. My schedule had to make room for this.  That meant something had to go. The investments had to be made in time and money to make the “happily ever after” my “here and now”.

What is it that you want for your life that has been in that secret place or not so secret place of your mind that is your fairy tale?  What first step can you take to begin your work?  Here are four points to ask yourself to help get you from “once upon a time” to here and now”:

1)  You must believe it is possible

2)  You must believe it is possible for YOU

3)  You must be willing to do the WORK

4)  You must be willing to make the necessary SACRIFICES

I remember clearly one of the early lessons I learned from mentor Jim Rohn:  “When the promise is clear, the price becomes easy.”  What we have to remember is that the price remains.

To wrap this up, I’m going to borrow a quote from Sherri Shepard I will never forget as she was departing from the Dancing With The Stars competition about to start up a new season:

“And, I wanna say, to every person out there — that thing that scares you the most, that makes you say, ‘I don’t know if I can do it, I’m scared,’ run towards it because it’s so amazing on the other side.”

I agree.  There is nothing like being on the other side of once upon a time… here and now is unbelievably wonderful!

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Personal thoughts & insights, Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

Bringing the virtual world home…

February 18, 2014 By

Virtual officeOur lives are enriched everyday by people we have never met in person.  Whether through on-line classrooms, forums, social media or just by reading the stories of incredible people leading extraordinary lives, the influence of the stranger has never been greater.

When we have the opportunity to bridge that virtual space and bring that virtual world into our physical realm, there can be both excitement and a bit of trepidation.

What if we are disappointed?  What if THEY are disappointed?  This of course is the fodder of many discussions when relating it to on-line dating and other personal circumstances but what about when it’s your business?

We engage with people we’ve never met now as a matter of course.  In some cases, they know more about our lives and businesses than our families and friends.  But there is a growing shift to close those gaps.   Even if 90% of the relationship and it’s exchanges stay virtual, there is a definite emphasis coming back to getting eye to eye through video conferencing and face to face at conferences, expos, mastermind meetings and other networking events.

What a wonderful time we live in and how fortunate we are to have all of these marvelous tools at our fingertips!  But as with anything, the strategy we employ and the integrity we maintain will be the key factors in making certain that all of these wonders of technology are being used to an effective end and purpose.

Technology in and of itself is just the tool.  The craftsmen are still required for it to actually create the miracle and transform.

So as we go about our lives, virtually and where there is dust and dirt, let’s not lose sight of the fact that we are still all people with very real lives and dreams.  Virtual doesn’t change who we are.  It just changes how we meet, how we communicate and the opportunity to bring value to so many in so many ways.

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Personal thoughts & insights, Winds of Change Tagged With: , ,

How to finally get (and stay) free of life’s “dust collectors”

January 17, 2014 By

Time For Organize, Business Concept.One year ago I began what initially felt like a herculean task to bring order to my home and office.  I was determined that every room, every closet, every shelf, every cabinet, every drawer would be cleared-out of anything and everything that did not need to be there. I was determined to free myself from clutter. All kinds.

In addition to the undertaking to create order, I also set a goal for myself to give away or donate at least one box or bag of items every week for the first six months.  It was my desire to create an incentive to be less attached to things and to create more breathing space in my environment.

Clean-up and clear-out. And it worked. At first.

Somewhere along the way it stopped working. Why? It stopped because I did.  I considered it temporary work.  It was a project with a definite beginning and a definite end.  That meant it was really just temporary behavior. I never created a commitment to a routine, only to a project.

I can’t argue that I did make great progress.  There is no question that where I am now vs. a year ago is improved. I can argue that I didn’t really change.  Because where I am vs. six months ago is not improved. That is the issue. And six months from now, I will be right back where I was a year ago unless I do change.

This is an example of why we need to look at our daily behaviors when we really want to effect permanent change.  This year I am taking a different approach.  This time my focus is on my daily schedule and putting an organization activity on my agenda every day. That allows me to activate several over the course of a week and a more significant number each month. It also keeps me cycled (and recycled) every month so that the actual work is less. The piles are less daunting, the lists are shorter.  I am not starting a project. I am creating better habits.

Imagine spending just 15 minutes a day over the next 30 days focused on clearing something out.  Then create a list of everywhere that you know requires continuous monitoring and start there. A few ideas to consider (from my list..) might be your e-mail in-box and other folders; your postal service mail baskets and personal papers/bills; your business filing and paperwork; your pantry; your refrigerator; cleaning supplies, and, yes, that infamous junk drawer that we all have.  These are not “once and done” places.  And there are other things to consider.  These are the “dust collectors” that we have to stay on top of to keep a healthy and productive environment.

Change happens with ease when our mindset is open, our motivation is compelling and the method we’ve chosen is effective for us.  I had the right mindset and a compelling motivation.  But I chose a method that worked for other people but not for me.  That’s okay because sometimes (most times in fact) it takes a few tries to find the absolute best method.  Even when we find it, we also know it’s going to change over time because we are growing and changing as a person and our daily practices need to keep pace.

This weekend begins my new approach.  It feels very different.  Not herculean at all. In fact, it feels just right!  Daily practices are the key.  I am continually reminded that to have the “me” I want tomorrow I must live that “me” today.  To have the business I want tomorrow, I must practice that business today.  To have the order I want tomorrow, I must create that order today.  Every day.

Live today like you want tomorrow to be.

What one change in your living or working environment would you like to have in your future? How can you begin today to create it?  Are you ready? Let’s get started!

Filed Under: Personal thoughts & insights, Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , ,

There’s a reason they call them “power” habits..

January 9, 2014 By

Have you ever wondered why you didn’t stay with something?  Have you ever thought you lacked self control or had no discipline?  The fact is that we can and do stay with things.  We have self control and we have discipline.  It just might not be where we’re looking for it.

PowerWhen I began to understand that we all have the same capacity within us to achieve whatever we committed to, my life began to change.  I took responsibility.  I discovered my values and set my priorities; and planned my life to honor them. And I created what I now call my Power 5 or P5 practices.

One of the thought leaders that I enjoy and learn from every time I hear from him is Robin Sharma.  In his Little Black Book for Stunning Success (visit his website and get it if you don’t have it already!) he talks about this subject and shares his own personal daily practices that bring him personal power.  Some of his practices were aligned to mine.  The list below combines them:

  1. A morning writing routine.  One approach to this comes from Julia Cameron in our program The Artist’s Way.   Personal development expert Brian Tracy advocates beginning each day by re-writing your top ten goals.  What works for me is to take the time to center my thoughts through expression.  This can be digital writing, hand writing or even recording your voice.  But create a journal that is part of your routine. I’ve done a prayer journal, a gratitude journal and for one period of time I did a health journal.  Choose to write and then write what you choose to.
  2. A morning “movement” routine.  This can be stretching, walking, a work-out; whatever meets your own need best.  Sometimes it’s good to alternate but have time devoted to your physical body.  Remember that this is part of a routine that’s going to generate “power” in your day.
  3. A morning nourishment routine.  Are you someone who skips breakfast?  Stop.  It was the one “habit” hardest for me to break that has made the most difference.  A smoothie, a piece of fruit – something that generates fuel.  I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase – “If you want the lamp to keep burning, you must put oil in it.”.
  4. A morning spiritual routine.  This can be reading; can be listening to music; it can be meditating or prayer or any combination.   This is a personal space but extremely important.  God created us as a multi-dimensional being and we must care for each of those dimensions.
  5. A daily learning routine.  This is the only one that I have as optional on timing because sometimes the learning activity is scheduled for a class or requires additional time.  But each day should have some activity included that is about enhancing your skills.  Whenever I do not have an actual activity planned, I spend at least 30 minutes reading or listening to an audio tape.  This is also a great one to do in conjunction with the physical routine.  The key is that it has priority and it part of your daily plan.

Sometimes when we don’t know what our next “big adventure” is going to be; the best thing to do is to just focus on these daily practices and let it unfold.  Another example of “living the question” and letting the answers just come.

A valuable lesson I’ve learned is that creating meaningful change is less about what we stop doing and more about what we start doing.  Begin here.  Establish your own version of a morning routine.  Stick with it for the next 30 days.  My hope is that you will continue.  There is power in daily practices.

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Personal thoughts & insights, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , , ,

The value of zero based thinking…. (Ready. Set. Change!)

January 8, 2014 By

Time for ChangeChange is more than a choice.  It is a privilege.  Some changes are really visible and immediate.  Others are more gradual and happen over time.  But those changes can in fact be the ones that can generate the greatest difference for us if we are mindful of them.  As we grow through life, we need to periodically look at the choices we made in the past to be certain that they are still the right ones for us.

Personal development expert Brian Tracy teaches this as zero based thinking.  At least once a year (more often if significant change occurs) go through all of your commitments of resources (think time and money) and ask this simple question:  “Knowing what I know now, would I still choose to______?)

If the answer is yes – then the commitment continues.  But if the answer is no, give yourself permission to end the commitment and to do it as quickly as possible.  Since I have adopted this practice, it has proven to be very empowering and has kept me from allowing myself to slide into patterns of investment that are no longer serving me.

This is really impacted by our personal growth.  That could be growth in knowledge, in skill or generally in life overall.  This has been very valuable to me in my personal development strategy.  Because my knowledge is growing everyday, I review the tools I use, classes I take, my professional associations and even the blogs that I follow and mailing lists I stay on at least quarterly.  Giving ourselves permission to adjust externally as we change internally is powerful.  By putting this into a routine practice, it becomes easier to do and allows you to expand your horizons to try new things knowing that if for any reason it does not make sense to continue you have a framework already in place to change again.

One of my favorite thoughts on this subject comes from George Bernard Shaw.  Here is his view:

“The only man I know who behaves sensibly is my tailor; he takes my measurements anew each time he sees me. The rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them.”

What a brilliant way to see this.  We keep changing and as a result, we need to be able to change the things (and perhaps people) in our life and business.

Thought leader Jim Rohn likens this to the difference between a human being and a goose.  A goose must fly in a certain direction at a certain time every year.  It cannot decide to stay north or south or to reverse the schedule.  It’s a goose.  But we are not geese.  We get to choose our direction.  More importantly, we get to change our direction.   He also references not just our person but our place.  If we do not like where we are, we should move.  After all, we’re not a tree.

Simple, practical views that all come back to zero based thinking.  We change and our world changes with us.  That means that decisions we made before that were perfectly logical and good at the time can be reversed without any sense or feeling of failure.  The key is basing it on knowing what we know now, and allowing the course to change.

Try doing a simple review of how you invest your time and money.  Look at each thing within your routine and go through the exercise.  You may find as I did that the exercise itself is powerful.  It gives us an opportunity to re-affirm commitments and to let go of what needs to be released.

Ready. Set. Change!

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Personal thoughts & insights, Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , ,

From here to there to where?

January 7, 2014 By

I grew up in northern Ohio.  Very different from where I live now in south Texas.  Looking back, one of my favorite aspects of living there was the cycling (or perhaps recycling…) of seasons and their influence on our lives.

Watching all of the recent weather reports and pictures of extreme cold has reminded me of just how aligned our lives were to those seasons.  Certain activities naturally fell into each one.  The freedom of riding your bike was one of the joys of spring that stayed with you into fall.  Watching the snow fall and building snow forts and sledding with my brothers created some memorable times from the winter season.  Our lives held a place for certain activities based on the season.  It gave us something to look forward to and as a result, I believe trained our minds to not just expect change but to embrace it.   It seems a bit of a mystery then why if that is the case change still seems to be a bit of a struggle.  Why does going from “here” to “there” seem so frightening?  After all, I couldn’t wait for the next season as a child.

I believe the answer lies within the fact that what we experienced as children with seasons and school schedules and all that goes with those transitions held at least some element of familiarity.  Summer came around and around but it was always summer.  We welcomed the seasonal changes because we knew what the next one looked like, smelled like and would feel like.  School may have progressed with its level of challenge but it was still school.  We knew classmates, probably already knew most of the teachers and other than major milestones, knew the building and place.  Only a portion of our life experience was changing.

Tight-Rope-WalkToday however with the influence of technologies and the general rapid rate of change everywhere that is not always the case.  Sometimes we have no idea what is next and we feel a bit like the tightrope walker going from place to place with no net below.

I have experienced significant (and multiple) changes over the past few years.  This is an intimate topic for me and one that I believe is at the center of how we as human beings learn not only to live our best lives but to also help those around us do the same. My journey has included changes at home with my daughter getting married (empty-nester!); the loss of a job that I truly enjoyed (empty-job!); and, a health crisis that required months of treatment and changes in lifestyle (empty-health!).  But somehow through all of that, what has resulted isn’t a life that is less – what I have experienced is a life that is more.  My relationship with my daughter has deepened and my grand-girls are my delight.  My new professional life and work is far more fulfilling. And my health is better than it has been in over a decade.  But at the onset of each of these changes, I could not see or even have imagined where the path would lead. There were times that I was indeed feeling like that tightrope walker.  But my net was my faith and a belief in myself and my ability to chart my own course.

Here are the three principles that have served me through these and other transitions and allowed me to go beyond a change of place (or other life situation) to a place of growth and even joy:

1- I take full responsibility for my life.  No excuses.  My choices.  My responsibility.

2- My vision of the future is my touchstone for today’s decisions and actions.

3- The answer can and will always be found when I ask the right question.

There is abundant freedom in these principles.  I share them with you with the hope that they speak to you as they have spoken to me.

Never forget that our best days are always in front of us.  There is more value in the rest of your story than you can possibly imagine. Live today like you want tomorrow to be.  Live well.

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Personal thoughts & insights, Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , , , ,
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