The best laid plans…

January 21, 2014 By

Cancelled Flights Departures BoardIt is not enough to know ourselves.

We need to be compelled to develop our personal best by practicing life skills that in changing us change our interactions and influence in the world in a meaningful way.

After all, those best laid plans are just that, only plans.  It is in the execution that we discover and enjoy the best experience.

When we master life skills within our daily practices that allow us to cope with disruptions and detours we are laying a firm foundation for personal success.  A key word reference in that statement is skills.  True skill (mastery) develops when we practice something relentlessly in order to do it well.  Coping skills are no different.

Let’s consider some questions and situations to bring focus to this:

How resourceful are you when something does not work as planned in your day?  Someone does not show up for a meeting.  You burn dinner.  Your printer won’t print.  How do you put that “new found time” to work? How do you transform disappointment and frustration into something else? How do you change gears and get the job done another way?

How value sensitive are you when disruptions come that matter more than what you had planned? A child needs your attention. Are you able to see beyond an interruption to need? A friend calls and needs your shoulder. Can you balance values and time? A colleague needs your help. Are you able to serve first?

How agile are you in shifting your mental focus?  Are you mentally and physically present? Does the disruption feel more like a distraction? To you? To the other person?

How resilient are you in getting back on track?  The alarm didn’t work and now you’re late. How do you handle it? That phone call with a friend took an hour of your time. How do you re-enter the planned schedule?

These are all life skills that are formed in our day to day encounters and experience. How we handle these scenarios is a preview of how we’ll handle the more significant disruptions.  Our life will go the way that our days go.

When you think about the last few days, focus in one 3 or 4 moments when one of the above situations or something like them happened.  Replay that situation as a mind movie and consider how you could have improved or enhanced the outcome. Determine how you can be mindful of those options when the situation reoccurs (because it will!).

As we wrap for today, here are some thoughts from a few people with experience in life’s coping skills to inspire and help you in your quest.

“In the long run, we shape our lives and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.”  -Eleanor Roosevelt

 “Skill to do comes of doing.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

 “It’s not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what’s required.” -Winston Churchill

Filed Under: Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , ,

How to finally get (and stay) free of life’s “dust collectors”

January 17, 2014 By

Time For Organize, Business Concept.One year ago I began what initially felt like a herculean task to bring order to my home and office.  I was determined that every room, every closet, every shelf, every cabinet, every drawer would be cleared-out of anything and everything that did not need to be there. I was determined to free myself from clutter. All kinds.

In addition to the undertaking to create order, I also set a goal for myself to give away or donate at least one box or bag of items every week for the first six months.  It was my desire to create an incentive to be less attached to things and to create more breathing space in my environment.

Clean-up and clear-out. And it worked. At first.

Somewhere along the way it stopped working. Why? It stopped because I did.  I considered it temporary work.  It was a project with a definite beginning and a definite end.  That meant it was really just temporary behavior. I never created a commitment to a routine, only to a project.

I can’t argue that I did make great progress.  There is no question that where I am now vs. a year ago is improved. I can argue that I didn’t really change.  Because where I am vs. six months ago is not improved. That is the issue. And six months from now, I will be right back where I was a year ago unless I do change.

This is an example of why we need to look at our daily behaviors when we really want to effect permanent change.  This year I am taking a different approach.  This time my focus is on my daily schedule and putting an organization activity on my agenda every day. That allows me to activate several over the course of a week and a more significant number each month. It also keeps me cycled (and recycled) every month so that the actual work is less. The piles are less daunting, the lists are shorter.  I am not starting a project. I am creating better habits.

Imagine spending just 15 minutes a day over the next 30 days focused on clearing something out.  Then create a list of everywhere that you know requires continuous monitoring and start there. A few ideas to consider (from my list..) might be your e-mail in-box and other folders; your postal service mail baskets and personal papers/bills; your business filing and paperwork; your pantry; your refrigerator; cleaning supplies, and, yes, that infamous junk drawer that we all have.  These are not “once and done” places.  And there are other things to consider.  These are the “dust collectors” that we have to stay on top of to keep a healthy and productive environment.

Change happens with ease when our mindset is open, our motivation is compelling and the method we’ve chosen is effective for us.  I had the right mindset and a compelling motivation.  But I chose a method that worked for other people but not for me.  That’s okay because sometimes (most times in fact) it takes a few tries to find the absolute best method.  Even when we find it, we also know it’s going to change over time because we are growing and changing as a person and our daily practices need to keep pace.

This weekend begins my new approach.  It feels very different.  Not herculean at all. In fact, it feels just right!  Daily practices are the key.  I am continually reminded that to have the “me” I want tomorrow I must live that “me” today.  To have the business I want tomorrow, I must practice that business today.  To have the order I want tomorrow, I must create that order today.  Every day.

Live today like you want tomorrow to be.

What one change in your living or working environment would you like to have in your future? How can you begin today to create it?  Are you ready? Let’s get started!

Filed Under: Personal thoughts & insights, Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , ,

Setting up for success – Five R’s that make a difference

January 16, 2014 By

One of my favorite roles when I worked in corporate management was mentoring young managers coming into the group. Being a part of setting them up for success was very rewarding. As a mentor, what we share is the result of proven experience. To mentor, you need to have succeeded and you need to have failed.  It is the culmination of what worked and what didn’t and observations of all the “what when, why, where, and how’s” of good practices.

you can do it word banner hold in hand stock vectorThat is still one of my favorite roles now as a life strategist and mentor.  Whether we are talking about daily practices for our life or our business, many of the same principals apply.  After all, what we are looking for are the best results we can achieve from the investment of our time, energy and other resources.

There are five areas which are often over-looked that have made a significant difference for me in achieving my own goals.  They are rate, recurrence, ratio, resilience and risk. In today’s post I am sharing with you why these matter and how to begin considering them when reviewing your own daily practices.  These have been pivotal to me and changed my results every time.

Rate

The rate or pace at which we do something impacts the results.  If we rush, we might be creating a higher risk of errors.  If we go too slowly, we might potentially risk losing interest. And the rate can also affect results based on its affect on efficiency.  For example, if I want to achieve my ideal weight one of the action goals I am going to set is for certain activities every day.  Some of those need to be cardio activities that increase heart rate (safely) and cause my body’s furnace to operate at its peak.  That means the rate (or pace) is very much a factor.  Even walking that is the case.  The effect of a leisurely stroll is far different from that of a power walk.

Recurrence

How regularly we do something is also a factor.  Using our health example, if I don’t exercise with the right recurring schedule I diminish the value and get a poorer result than if the schedule is optimized. Recurring activities done properly are also what generate mastery. Remember that the majority of what we need to be able to do comes from skill, not talent.  Talent might begin it but skill is what will determine the real quality of the end result in most cases. And skill comes from relentless repetition of doing it right.

Ratio

When we talk about ratios, we are talking about the power of the relationship between certain activities. All too often we neglect this and get discouraged when we don’t see the results we want from the work we are doing. The challenge is getting those ratios right for other activities. In our health example, the obvious ratio here would be between what we are eating vs. our activities.  We have to have the ratio right to get the result.  One influences the other without question. But there are other ratios as well.  Determine what activities impact each other and optimize their ratios. When you do, you are optimizing your results as well.

Resilience

Nothing works every time all the time. It just doesn’t. There are always variables and influences that come into the picture. Our ability to be resilient and resume our daily practices is going to be major influencing factor in the ultimate success of our efforts. That is why every day matters. Each day we put ourselves back on the path to our ultimate success by the choices of that day. Whatever came before diminishes because of what we decide now. And whatever comes later is going to be the direct result of the latest decisions we’ve made.

Risk

One of the first questions we should ask when we set a new goal or objective is why we haven’t already achieved it.  If I use the healthy weight example, the question would be “why am I not at a healthy weight now”.  There is tremendous insight in this question because it helps us discover potential points of failure. Where are those risks? What steps can we take to eliminate or mitigate them? Being aware of potential threats is a vital part of our strategy.  When we know where they are we can take steps to manage them. That becomes part of our questioning thread.  For example, the question of why I am not healthy now would then prompt the next question of what I can do to remove that threat or obstacle going forward.  In my personal story, it resulted in a massive clearing out of the pantry, refrigerator and freezer and continued monitoring of what I allowed to be there.  Before we can eat healthy food we must have healthy food.  Conversely, the best ways to stop eating unhealthy food is to not have it available. It sounds simple in theory (and it is) but it requires specific action to make it happen. That is the essence of managing risk.

Rate, recurrence, ratio, resilience and risk: Can you see where one or more of these might be where you need to shift your focus in order to change your results? Sometimes it helps to have another perspective when we look at these questions.  Our laser strategy sessions are designed to help.  Are you ready to get the results you’ve been missing? Let’s chat!

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

The value of zero based thinking…. (Ready. Set. Change!)

January 8, 2014 By

Time for ChangeChange is more than a choice.  It is a privilege.  Some changes are really visible and immediate.  Others are more gradual and happen over time.  But those changes can in fact be the ones that can generate the greatest difference for us if we are mindful of them.  As we grow through life, we need to periodically look at the choices we made in the past to be certain that they are still the right ones for us.

Personal development expert Brian Tracy teaches this as zero based thinking.  At least once a year (more often if significant change occurs) go through all of your commitments of resources (think time and money) and ask this simple question:  “Knowing what I know now, would I still choose to______?)

If the answer is yes – then the commitment continues.  But if the answer is no, give yourself permission to end the commitment and to do it as quickly as possible.  Since I have adopted this practice, it has proven to be very empowering and has kept me from allowing myself to slide into patterns of investment that are no longer serving me.

This is really impacted by our personal growth.  That could be growth in knowledge, in skill or generally in life overall.  This has been very valuable to me in my personal development strategy.  Because my knowledge is growing everyday, I review the tools I use, classes I take, my professional associations and even the blogs that I follow and mailing lists I stay on at least quarterly.  Giving ourselves permission to adjust externally as we change internally is powerful.  By putting this into a routine practice, it becomes easier to do and allows you to expand your horizons to try new things knowing that if for any reason it does not make sense to continue you have a framework already in place to change again.

One of my favorite thoughts on this subject comes from George Bernard Shaw.  Here is his view:

“The only man I know who behaves sensibly is my tailor; he takes my measurements anew each time he sees me. The rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them.”

What a brilliant way to see this.  We keep changing and as a result, we need to be able to change the things (and perhaps people) in our life and business.

Thought leader Jim Rohn likens this to the difference between a human being and a goose.  A goose must fly in a certain direction at a certain time every year.  It cannot decide to stay north or south or to reverse the schedule.  It’s a goose.  But we are not geese.  We get to choose our direction.  More importantly, we get to change our direction.   He also references not just our person but our place.  If we do not like where we are, we should move.  After all, we’re not a tree.

Simple, practical views that all come back to zero based thinking.  We change and our world changes with us.  That means that decisions we made before that were perfectly logical and good at the time can be reversed without any sense or feeling of failure.  The key is basing it on knowing what we know now, and allowing the course to change.

Try doing a simple review of how you invest your time and money.  Look at each thing within your routine and go through the exercise.  You may find as I did that the exercise itself is powerful.  It gives us an opportunity to re-affirm commitments and to let go of what needs to be released.

Ready. Set. Change!

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Personal thoughts & insights, Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , ,

From here to there to where?

January 7, 2014 By

I grew up in northern Ohio.  Very different from where I live now in south Texas.  Looking back, one of my favorite aspects of living there was the cycling (or perhaps recycling…) of seasons and their influence on our lives.

Watching all of the recent weather reports and pictures of extreme cold has reminded me of just how aligned our lives were to those seasons.  Certain activities naturally fell into each one.  The freedom of riding your bike was one of the joys of spring that stayed with you into fall.  Watching the snow fall and building snow forts and sledding with my brothers created some memorable times from the winter season.  Our lives held a place for certain activities based on the season.  It gave us something to look forward to and as a result, I believe trained our minds to not just expect change but to embrace it.   It seems a bit of a mystery then why if that is the case change still seems to be a bit of a struggle.  Why does going from “here” to “there” seem so frightening?  After all, I couldn’t wait for the next season as a child.

I believe the answer lies within the fact that what we experienced as children with seasons and school schedules and all that goes with those transitions held at least some element of familiarity.  Summer came around and around but it was always summer.  We welcomed the seasonal changes because we knew what the next one looked like, smelled like and would feel like.  School may have progressed with its level of challenge but it was still school.  We knew classmates, probably already knew most of the teachers and other than major milestones, knew the building and place.  Only a portion of our life experience was changing.

Tight-Rope-WalkToday however with the influence of technologies and the general rapid rate of change everywhere that is not always the case.  Sometimes we have no idea what is next and we feel a bit like the tightrope walker going from place to place with no net below.

I have experienced significant (and multiple) changes over the past few years.  This is an intimate topic for me and one that I believe is at the center of how we as human beings learn not only to live our best lives but to also help those around us do the same. My journey has included changes at home with my daughter getting married (empty-nester!); the loss of a job that I truly enjoyed (empty-job!); and, a health crisis that required months of treatment and changes in lifestyle (empty-health!).  But somehow through all of that, what has resulted isn’t a life that is less – what I have experienced is a life that is more.  My relationship with my daughter has deepened and my grand-girls are my delight.  My new professional life and work is far more fulfilling. And my health is better than it has been in over a decade.  But at the onset of each of these changes, I could not see or even have imagined where the path would lead. There were times that I was indeed feeling like that tightrope walker.  But my net was my faith and a belief in myself and my ability to chart my own course.

Here are the three principles that have served me through these and other transitions and allowed me to go beyond a change of place (or other life situation) to a place of growth and even joy:

1- I take full responsibility for my life.  No excuses.  My choices.  My responsibility.

2- My vision of the future is my touchstone for today’s decisions and actions.

3- The answer can and will always be found when I ask the right question.

There is abundant freedom in these principles.  I share them with you with the hope that they speak to you as they have spoken to me.

Never forget that our best days are always in front of us.  There is more value in the rest of your story than you can possibly imagine. Live today like you want tomorrow to be.  Live well.

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Personal thoughts & insights, Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

A Year of Grateful Living

December 13, 2013 By

2014 new year signAt the beginning of 2013 there were a number of things happening in my life and in the lives of those dear to me that were hard.  Whether the word used to describe them is challenges, tough times, lessons or any other of the terms that could be used (and would be true), what is universally correct is that they were hard.  And they weren’t situations that would just disappear overnight.

Stretched before us were months and perhaps even years of “hard”.   Outcomes could not be known.  It seemed that all we could do was take it one day at a time and keep moving through life.  But there was something more we could do, that I could do.  We could claim gratitude.  I could practice gratitude.  In everything.  Even the things that were hard.

As we near the end of 2013, while some of the “hard” things remain they no longer feel quite so immense.  Just being grateful has moved many from the “hard” column to the “now possible” column. And beyond the circumstance we all have that choice.  How will we see it?  How will we feel about it?  It’s not a simple matter of response.  It gets into our emotions and core.  Our personal energy is either provisioned or depleted.  All by our choice of feeling.  So many lessons have come from this past year.  And so many gifts have found their way to my door.  How they arrived may have appeared otherwise but once unwrapped – the gifts were all of grace.

Over the remaining days of 2013,  I will be sharing here some of the best and the brightest of those gifts.  And so on this day – this first day of acknowledging the many gifts of 2013 let me start with you.  Thank you to those that have joined me here.  My life has been richly blessed by our friendships – new and old!

What gifts have come your way in 2013?  Let’s all practice gratitude together and share the joy!

Filed Under: Personal thoughts & insights, Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , ,
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