3 Ways Being Strategic Reduces Stress

December 3, 2014 By

this way, that way, another way illustrationThere are some words that over time get lost in the clutter of all of the messages we receive. One of those words is strategy. Be strategic! Be intentional! Be purposeful! Each of those admonitions is great advice. But what do they mean? We need to explore beyond the sound bites and be certain that we understand what it means to apply the knowledge.

Working as a master strategist over the past decade, the concept of strategy has proven time and time again to be much simpler than you might think. It comes down to this: Begin with the end in mind. When we employ strategy, it goes beyond the plan. It goes all the way to the end, to the outcome. Begin with the end in mind.

Think of it like reverse engineering. First you determine what you’re building. Then you work backwards to develop the right sequence of steps to get you there. When you do that, you are being strategic. You know what you are going to need and when you are going to need it. You know what you need to do and when you need to do it. Beyond that, you know why.

If the question is this: What should I do today?  The answer is this: What do you want to be/have tomorrow? Within the answer to the second question is your answer for the first. That is why our coaching programs focus on living today like you want tomorrow to be. And that is where the true magic of strategy serves us.

Being strategic goes beyond being your guide in how you plan. It goes to how you live. Let’s look at three ways we experience stress in our lives and see how being strategic can reduce and even eliminate that stress for us.

#1 – The Art of the No

We all struggle with this, particularly women. We find it stressful to say no because we aren’t comfortable with when and how to say no. Let me share with you what Michael E. Porter (Harvard Business Review) who is considered by many a modern day Father of Strategy has to say on this subject. When asked to define strategy, his response was this: “The essence of strategy is choosing what not to do.” I found that very insightful. Being strategic is in fact a giant filter. It gets rid of the clutter in the way of getting to the end.

When we begin with the end in mind, we know what will take us there and what will not and we can focus there. We can also use that context when choosing what not to do.  For many years I have employed this simple principle: “Don’t say no, say how.”  It sounds simple but it’s really a way of vetting your options. Can I do this? Yes- if you do A,B or C or perhaps if you do not do A, B or C. It creates a choice instead of a “NO”. One of the most effective sales techniques ever employed is giving customers options for purchase.  Would you like A, B or C? They are instinctively drawn to choosing one of the offers provided vs. just Do you want A? Yes or No.

Apply that in your life. Someone asks you to serve on a committee that is going to mean a commitment of your time. Is that going to serve your “end in mind” strategy? If yes, you have your answer. If not, then the choice is to either take on the new responsibility and sacrifice momentum or stay focused on the strategy you have in place. When responding, it is now within a context for you and for the person that offered you the opportunity. Now you have the opportunity to make them aware of what you are working toward as well. It may very well be that there is a masked opportunity in play that you would not have seen without that specific conversation.

#2 – The Actions of the Day

The second place we experience stress is when we fail to live up to our promises to ourselves. Any time we move out of integrity (say one thing – do another) it introduces stress. Who we are vs. what we do is the ultimate generator or dissipater of stress. It’s about the tough things we have to do every day to move us to that “end in mind” state. If we don’t start with that vision, we will soon find ourselves losing steam when the work that needs to be done isn’t recognized as important, even vital.

We all feel better about ourselves when we have the satisfaction of knowing we’ve done what we said we would do. It’s about self-discipline, one of the hardest disciplines to achieve. Personal leadership expert Brian Tracy defines discipline with these six words: Do what you resolve to do. I love that. So very close to my definition of strategy: Begin with the end in mind. They are in fact the same fundamental principal. One serves the other.

The planning of our days becomes straight forward. The actions of our days become deliberate. As a result, we reduce the stress of continuous choice. The decisions are already made. We are now just living them out. The former editor of Fortune magazine Alvin Toffler offers this advice: “You’ve got to think about big things while you’re doing small things, so that all the small things go in the right direction.”

#3 – The Disruptions of the Day

Here is perhaps the most important place to consider when reviewing the true value of strategy. Each of us faces disruption in our lives. Sometimes they are significant events such as death, divorce, even disease. Even if not happening directly to us, when they happen to someone close to us it will still impact us. But it goes beyond those larger disruptions to include some that might not seem as significant but still disrupt our path. Your car doesn’t start, the plumbing picks the absolute worst time to stop working, your computer has turned into an alien machine – so many opportunities for stress to burst onto the scene and distract us from our path.

When we operate from the perspective of what we are living toward instead of what we are living through it makes all the difference. Within that framework we are always able to find contingencies and resources will be at the ready.  We can see disruptions in a different light. Where is the lesson? Where is the door? In so many cases, what starts out as a disruption is in fact a new opening on the path.

The next time you find yourself struggling with saying no, lacking purpose in your day-to-day activities or derailed by disruptions, remember that you have a different choice. You can choose to live today like you want tomorrow to be. You can choose to begin right now with the end in mind. You can. I have faith in you. You will.

Live well.

Filed Under: Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

What is easier than you think? Having it all!

November 6, 2014 By

 

Most of us have given it thought.  Most of us have even talked about it, dreamed about it.  But if pressed, most of us would probably admit that deep down, we don’t really believe in it.

What am I talking about? The idea of having it all:  Great health, a vibrant community life, a nurturing intimate circle, meaningful work, a secure future. Somehow, we’ve accepted the limitation that something has to give.

Certainly this was the case for me. But my belief did in fact change. And once the belief changed, everything changed. The change in my belief didn’t happen as a starburst.  There was no magical moment.  No wands were involved!  In fact, assembly was required. Because before I could get to that place of knowing, I had to be willing to let go of some very comfortable excuses.  And I had to re-focus myself in areas that supported a better result.

Think of it like being a farmer.  Our life isn’t the plants, the rain or the sunshine.  Our life is the soil.  We have to get the soil right before anything else can really flourish. Oh a few plants can come through, even thrive.  But they have to work so much harder and they zap all of the available energy resulting in a very sparse garden. I learned that if I focused on taking care of the soil, the rest became much easier.

How exactly do you do that? It’s not what you might expect.  It certainly wasn’t what I expected.  But I did find 5 keys that are serving me and the results have really been astonishing.  Curious? Good! That is one of the keys!

keysThat’s right! The first key is to have a curious expectation.  When you have a curious expectation, you are anticipating.  That means you are scanning and searching and moments that matter are not going to pass you by.  You were looking for them.  You expected them.  Even before you knew what they would be.

The second key is to practice having a joyful response to everything in life.  That can be a tough thing to do.  Not everything that happens around us is wonderful.  Everything does, however hold the potential to bring something wonderful for or from us.  And there is the joy.  If we see the thing that happens as a bearer of a gift, we look past the pain to see the gift.  Gratitude is another way of describing this.  But it’s an essential key.

There you have the foundation: curious expectation and a joyful response.  Perspective and mindset.

What’s at the center? The third key is being connected in the moment. This is what I believe is the essence of what we think of as balance in our life.  If you ARE wherever you are, then you are balanced.  You are aware, you are centered and you are actively engaged.  That’s balanced.  Balance isn’t that everything is equal.  Balance is that everything is working together.  It is also the epicenter of “having it all”.  What is the point of having anything if you can’t experience and enjoy it?

What is the key to connecting? Consider that it just might be disconnecting.  That’s right.  You can’t be where you are if your mind or your heart are somewhere else.  I once heard someone say that for a vacation to be a real holiday, it needed to be more than a change in geography.  So true!  If you are just physically showing up, then you can’t possibly connect to where you are.   This is written here from the perspective of place but it applies across relationships as well; personal, professional and everything in between!

The last two keys are a bit more pragmatic but just as important. The fourth key is to begin early and the fifth key is to develop sustainable energy.  You need to start early and be able to go long.  That takes energy.  Going back to our analogy of life as the soil, it means there has to be some slow release nutrients involved.  How do you do this? By taking care of yourself first.

In Robin Sharma’s success programs, one of the actions he encourages people to take is to start their day at 5:00 am.  My initial reaction was skeptical.  I didn’t see how that would make a difference; we’re not all morning people after all.  What I’ve learned is that it’s less about the hour and more about the sacredness of personal time.  Most of us do start our days at 7:00 or 8:00.  And we’re starting when everyone else is starting.  It’s much more challenging to protect that sacred space we all need for thought, for introspection, for prayer, for centering.  Following his advice, amazing changes started happening with my productivity and my overall sense of well being.  Why? Because I had created that space for myself and let my own vision create the day before it began.

The power that comes from that personal focus also delivers a longer burn for energy.  But we still need to keep the fires going.  And that’s where our personal habits come into the equation.  When we eat well, when we move, when we rest well – all of that works together to make our bodies run efficiently.  Unfortunately, it’s one of the first places where we deny ourselves.  We don’t “have the time” or “the money” or “the energy”. Sound familiar? I didn’t think I did either.  Until I ran out of all of them because I didn’t take the time, invest the money or cherish the energy.  There is nothing more precious we can give ourselves than the energy to do the things we want to do; the things we must do.

These are my five keys. Perhaps they are yours as well.  If you already “have it all” I salute you.  But if not, here’s my challenge: pick just one and work on it over the next 30 days, see how things shift for you.  Imagine that you have it all now but that the picture is just out of focus so you can’t see it.  With each of these five keys, you sharpen the focus. Once focused, your life is exactly the vision you imagined it could be.

Crave what’s next, practice gratitude, be connected, start early and take care of yourself along the way.

Sound good? It’s going to feel even better!

Enjoy the journey.  Begin now. Live today like you want tomorrow to be.

 

Filed Under: Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , ,

Do you know what your values are? Are you sure?

November 2, 2014 By

We all have our own value system that directs our thoughts and actions.  Some of those values are inherited, some are the result of significant experiences and some have developed over time from study and observation.  Jim Rohn, one of my early mentors, taught me that this is a key area for introspection and is at the heart of personal development.  I agree.  He taught it this way:  Make certain that whatever you (think, believe, do) is the product of your own conclusion. Be a student but not a follower.

When I first heard that statement it was one of those epiphany moments for me on my own journey.  I began re-examining much of my own core belief system.  It wasn’t that there was anything essentially or fundamentally wrong with what I said I believed – the problem was that I needed to understand and affirm why those were my beliefs.  And some of the beliefs changed.

Part of the changing had to do with how I defined values.  I have come to think of it as my philosophy of life.  We must be constantly growing and evolving in our philosophy.  But the essence of that is this:  Our philosophy is everything we know and have experienced (UP TO THIS POINT) boiled down to what we believe is important.  What matters.  It will show up in our actions – not just in our words.  And it will influence every decision we make.

Here’s an exercise that will help you see how to work through this for yourself:

Step 1:  Make a list of everything that is the essence of you – your talents, your abilities, your knowledge, anything valuable to you.  There isn’t a definite number for the list but make sure you’ve captured everything. Make sure that these are about you and your life experience.

Step 2:  Imagine that each of the items on your list are represented by coins in a bag that you carry.

Step 3:  Imagine that you have started on a trip going to a destination that is very important to you – in fact is the most important place you believe you will ever visit in your lifetime.

Step 4:  Now imagine that you have come to a door and there is a fee to pass through the door in order to continue on your journey.  The fee for entry?  30% of your coins.  You must decide first if you are willing to sacrifice any of your coins.  And, if so, which coins you are willing to sacrifice in order to continue on your journey.  What would you do? Which values would you release? Let’s assume you paid and continued…

Step 5:  Your journey resumes and you begin to notice that the load you carry is lighter.  Those coins don’t seem to be anything you miss.  Interesting. You’re pleased with your decision.

Step 6:  There’s another doorway ahead.  And there is another fee.  Just as before – you must sacrifice another 30% of the coins in order to continue.  That’s 60% of your attributes, talents and things you value that you will have given up to get to that ultimate goal.  Another decision.  Do you make the sacrifice?  If so, what are you willing to give up?  Once again, the pull is great, let’s assume you continue..

Step 7:  You start back on your journey but this time although the load is lighter, you begin to wonder what else might be in store.  But the prospect of getting to your destination is powerful.  And you continue on.

Step 8:  Up ahead you see another door and your anticipation has no bounds.  You just know this is it.  You have arrived.  But as you come to the door, the gatekeeper appears again and demands another 30%.  But that will only leave you with 10% of your coins. Only 10% of what you value will remain.  Are you willing to make that last sacrifice to get to the prize?

Far too many of us stop right here.  We believe that last sacrifice demands too much.  But what happens when we are willing?

Step 9:  You decide on the last 30%, make the sacrifice and you pass through the door.

Step 10:  You indeed have arrived.  But with only those valuables (values) that truly matter.  You are now free to move within that paradise destination unencumbered and uninhibited by all of the things collected over the years that in the grand scheme of things you realized were not important.

—————-

I go through this exercise now at least once a year. Why? Because my philosophy continues to change which means my values are changing.  That means that I need to adjust my sights to stay in alignment with my values.  I also check -in on that “dream destination” and make sure that my motivation levels are still strong and unwavering.

What is the value of values? If you don’t know what you value, you will always struggle because you will always be at the mercy of the values of others.  You cannot give what you do not have.  If you do not have values, you cannot give value.  Making decisions becomes almost impossible.  What basis do you use?

Knowing and protecting your values is a good starting place for change.  For growth.

When the glass is full – is there room for more?  Yes.  But only if you make room for it.

Live today like you want tomorrow to be.

 

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , ,

What will you do today? A jelly bean life…

October 13, 2014 By

Jelly BeansMuch of my professional life has been spent working with some kind of data analysis.  Even the most abstract scenarios will have some kind of profile that will allow you to create a model of that information. Those numbers tell a story.

The same is true of our lives.  When I first saw the video being shared today I was intrigued.  Then I watched it again and I realized that in life, as in business, sometimes it is not so much what we know as much as it is when we know it.

The timeliness of information is crucial for one reason only.  It impacts our decisions.  When we have information at the right time to use for making smarter decisions everyone benefits.

And that is the value of this video.  The days of our life illustrated by jelly beans.  Sounds pretty silly.  But the story is anything but.  When you see the way time is swept off the screen and think about it’s true value, you become far more protective of where it goes and how it is spent.  Or at least that was my response to this. You can make better decisions.  About your life.  About your day.

Because having the information is only valuable if we apply it.  In business and in life.

Watch the video.  Then you will see the point of the question.  What will you do today?

Live today like you want tomorrow to be.

 

Filed Under: Inspiration & Creativity, Possibilities & Perspective, Success & Significance, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , , ,

A new world of chain reactions

September 21, 2014 By

Paying it ForwardOne of the ideas that has intrigued me recently is how we as a society have adopted and are participating in activities designed to create a chain reaction. It’s really not a new concept but for a very long time, unless we were talking about a domino game it wasn’t something we intentionally set out to create.

And yet today we do.

Whether it’s paying it forward at a Starbucks window, taking on an ice water bucket challenge in support of ALS awareness or inviting friends and families to create gratitude posts on Facebook as examples, we as a society are actively looking for ways to join with a cause and make our world a better place.

What is creating this force of good? From what I have observed, it stems from three fundamental shifts that have impacted all of us. First is the  increased recognition that regardless of how different we may be, as a human race, we universally share the same hopes and dreams, and yes, even fears. Technology has created more than a global economy. It has also created a global neighborhood.  Instead of being limited to watching life go by from our front porches we are seeing it from the pages and screens of social media platforms and digital communities. This brings us together in ways we might never have imagined and allows us to appeal to each other’s basic humanity in ways we would never have dreamed possible.

The second part of this is that we’re able to readily see and share what happens when we take those steps to join in. That serves to fuel the fire for more. Imagine that if you just paid it forward at the Starbucks window and never found out you were number 498 in an ultimate line of over 700 as happened recently in St. Petersburg, Florida. You would still take satisfaction from having contributed to that one person but now you can know that you didn’t just impact one person, you were part of a movement in a single day that touched over 700 lives. That can be some pretty heady and “hearty” stuff. It also means that the next time you pull up, you might even be number 1 in an ultimate line of over 700 instead of number 498. We like being a part of good things.

The third component of this is that it gives legs to our hope that there is good in our world. The news is filled with so much heartache.  We need to know about that, too because we are a part of that as well. But when we have the chance to catch sight of that flame of hope for the good in all of us, it is rejuvenating. We can pause amidst the clutter and chaos and take in a moment that is really just about doing some good. Those moments can even serve to stop the chain reaction of some of the heartache.

How incredibly powerful it is to know that we can create good with such simple acts not just in the moment, but within the moments to come as our actions and examples create the genesis of so many more. The video in today’s post is a story board of this. As each person witnesses a kindness, they are inspired to create one of their own. And in the end, the world is a better place. All because someone cared enough to drop the first domino.

How about it? Let’s start some chain reactions in our lives and with our lives beginning today.

Live today like you want tomorrow to be.

Live well.

Filed Under: Personal thoughts & insights, Success & Significance, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , ,

Live today like you want tomorrow to be

August 3, 2014 By

CompassThe title of today’s post has become my mantra over the past two years and forms the core of my coaching programs. I had always been goal oriented and personally driven, my eye to the future. That’s not a bad thing. Unfortunately though, it meant that I was always working toward something instead of being able to enjoy where I was in the process. Once I realized that the best tomorrows result from living them today my life became much richer.

I frequently check-in and re-affirm my connection and commitment to my personal manifesto that resulted from this shift in my centering. It is a reflection of my core values and the principles that guide my life.  As I’m continuing to enhance our coaching programs, I’ve been reminded again of the importance of having this level of personal awareness and commitment at the forefront.

  1. I aspire always to honor God in my thoughts, words and deeds.
  2. I have a responsibility to take care of myself and to live well.
  3. I am here to make a difference and enrich the lives of others.
  4. I recognize that what I do today is forming my tomorrow. I do not think about what might have been. I act on what will be.
  5. A curious nature is my most valuable trait. My most powerful tool for myself and others is the right question.
  6. I acknowledge that time is my ultimate resource. I do not try to manage my time. I set priorities and they determine how, where and why my time is invested.
  7. I do not think in terms of failure. I think in terms of effort and experience.
  8. I appreciate that a change of place is often the best way to change my perspective.
  9. Outside of universal laws, the only rules that apply to me are those that I have accepted. By accepting (or not accepting) any guidelines, I am also accepting responsibility for my choices.
  10. I understand that fear is not a bad thing. Fear is a healthy thing. It is the ultimate expression of respect for what I am undertaking.

No matter where we are in the journey, we must live today like we want tomorrow to be. It is in fact the only way to achieve it.

Live well. Live today.

 

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Personal thoughts & insights, Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , ,
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