There’s a reason they call them “power” habits..

January 9, 2014 By

Have you ever wondered why you didn’t stay with something?  Have you ever thought you lacked self control or had no discipline?  The fact is that we can and do stay with things.  We have self control and we have discipline.  It just might not be where we’re looking for it.

PowerWhen I began to understand that we all have the same capacity within us to achieve whatever we committed to, my life began to change.  I took responsibility.  I discovered my values and set my priorities; and planned my life to honor them. And I created what I now call my Power 5 or P5 practices.

One of the thought leaders that I enjoy and learn from every time I hear from him is Robin Sharma.  In his Little Black Book for Stunning Success (visit his website and get it if you don’t have it already!) he talks about this subject and shares his own personal daily practices that bring him personal power.  Some of his practices were aligned to mine.  The list below combines them:

  1. A morning writing routine.  One approach to this comes from Julia Cameron in our program The Artist’s Way.   Personal development expert Brian Tracy advocates beginning each day by re-writing your top ten goals.  What works for me is to take the time to center my thoughts through expression.  This can be digital writing, hand writing or even recording your voice.  But create a journal that is part of your routine. I’ve done a prayer journal, a gratitude journal and for one period of time I did a health journal.  Choose to write and then write what you choose to.
  2. A morning “movement” routine.  This can be stretching, walking, a work-out; whatever meets your own need best.  Sometimes it’s good to alternate but have time devoted to your physical body.  Remember that this is part of a routine that’s going to generate “power” in your day.
  3. A morning nourishment routine.  Are you someone who skips breakfast?  Stop.  It was the one “habit” hardest for me to break that has made the most difference.  A smoothie, a piece of fruit – something that generates fuel.  I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase – “If you want the lamp to keep burning, you must put oil in it.”.
  4. A morning spiritual routine.  This can be reading; can be listening to music; it can be meditating or prayer or any combination.   This is a personal space but extremely important.  God created us as a multi-dimensional being and we must care for each of those dimensions.
  5. A daily learning routine.  This is the only one that I have as optional on timing because sometimes the learning activity is scheduled for a class or requires additional time.  But each day should have some activity included that is about enhancing your skills.  Whenever I do not have an actual activity planned, I spend at least 30 minutes reading or listening to an audio tape.  This is also a great one to do in conjunction with the physical routine.  The key is that it has priority and it part of your daily plan.

Sometimes when we don’t know what our next “big adventure” is going to be; the best thing to do is to just focus on these daily practices and let it unfold.  Another example of “living the question” and letting the answers just come.

A valuable lesson I’ve learned is that creating meaningful change is less about what we stop doing and more about what we start doing.  Begin here.  Establish your own version of a morning routine.  Stick with it for the next 30 days.  My hope is that you will continue.  There is power in daily practices.

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Personal thoughts & insights, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , , ,

The value of zero based thinking…. (Ready. Set. Change!)

January 8, 2014 By

Time for ChangeChange is more than a choice.  It is a privilege.  Some changes are really visible and immediate.  Others are more gradual and happen over time.  But those changes can in fact be the ones that can generate the greatest difference for us if we are mindful of them.  As we grow through life, we need to periodically look at the choices we made in the past to be certain that they are still the right ones for us.

Personal development expert Brian Tracy teaches this as zero based thinking.  At least once a year (more often if significant change occurs) go through all of your commitments of resources (think time and money) and ask this simple question:  “Knowing what I know now, would I still choose to______?)

If the answer is yes – then the commitment continues.  But if the answer is no, give yourself permission to end the commitment and to do it as quickly as possible.  Since I have adopted this practice, it has proven to be very empowering and has kept me from allowing myself to slide into patterns of investment that are no longer serving me.

This is really impacted by our personal growth.  That could be growth in knowledge, in skill or generally in life overall.  This has been very valuable to me in my personal development strategy.  Because my knowledge is growing everyday, I review the tools I use, classes I take, my professional associations and even the blogs that I follow and mailing lists I stay on at least quarterly.  Giving ourselves permission to adjust externally as we change internally is powerful.  By putting this into a routine practice, it becomes easier to do and allows you to expand your horizons to try new things knowing that if for any reason it does not make sense to continue you have a framework already in place to change again.

One of my favorite thoughts on this subject comes from George Bernard Shaw.  Here is his view:

“The only man I know who behaves sensibly is my tailor; he takes my measurements anew each time he sees me. The rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them.”

What a brilliant way to see this.  We keep changing and as a result, we need to be able to change the things (and perhaps people) in our life and business.

Thought leader Jim Rohn likens this to the difference between a human being and a goose.  A goose must fly in a certain direction at a certain time every year.  It cannot decide to stay north or south or to reverse the schedule.  It’s a goose.  But we are not geese.  We get to choose our direction.  More importantly, we get to change our direction.   He also references not just our person but our place.  If we do not like where we are, we should move.  After all, we’re not a tree.

Simple, practical views that all come back to zero based thinking.  We change and our world changes with us.  That means that decisions we made before that were perfectly logical and good at the time can be reversed without any sense or feeling of failure.  The key is basing it on knowing what we know now, and allowing the course to change.

Try doing a simple review of how you invest your time and money.  Look at each thing within your routine and go through the exercise.  You may find as I did that the exercise itself is powerful.  It gives us an opportunity to re-affirm commitments and to let go of what needs to be released.

Ready. Set. Change!

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Personal thoughts & insights, Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , ,

From here to there to where?

January 7, 2014 By

I grew up in northern Ohio.  Very different from where I live now in south Texas.  Looking back, one of my favorite aspects of living there was the cycling (or perhaps recycling…) of seasons and their influence on our lives.

Watching all of the recent weather reports and pictures of extreme cold has reminded me of just how aligned our lives were to those seasons.  Certain activities naturally fell into each one.  The freedom of riding your bike was one of the joys of spring that stayed with you into fall.  Watching the snow fall and building snow forts and sledding with my brothers created some memorable times from the winter season.  Our lives held a place for certain activities based on the season.  It gave us something to look forward to and as a result, I believe trained our minds to not just expect change but to embrace it.   It seems a bit of a mystery then why if that is the case change still seems to be a bit of a struggle.  Why does going from “here” to “there” seem so frightening?  After all, I couldn’t wait for the next season as a child.

I believe the answer lies within the fact that what we experienced as children with seasons and school schedules and all that goes with those transitions held at least some element of familiarity.  Summer came around and around but it was always summer.  We welcomed the seasonal changes because we knew what the next one looked like, smelled like and would feel like.  School may have progressed with its level of challenge but it was still school.  We knew classmates, probably already knew most of the teachers and other than major milestones, knew the building and place.  Only a portion of our life experience was changing.

Tight-Rope-WalkToday however with the influence of technologies and the general rapid rate of change everywhere that is not always the case.  Sometimes we have no idea what is next and we feel a bit like the tightrope walker going from place to place with no net below.

I have experienced significant (and multiple) changes over the past few years.  This is an intimate topic for me and one that I believe is at the center of how we as human beings learn not only to live our best lives but to also help those around us do the same. My journey has included changes at home with my daughter getting married (empty-nester!); the loss of a job that I truly enjoyed (empty-job!); and, a health crisis that required months of treatment and changes in lifestyle (empty-health!).  But somehow through all of that, what has resulted isn’t a life that is less – what I have experienced is a life that is more.  My relationship with my daughter has deepened and my grand-girls are my delight.  My new professional life and work is far more fulfilling. And my health is better than it has been in over a decade.  But at the onset of each of these changes, I could not see or even have imagined where the path would lead. There were times that I was indeed feeling like that tightrope walker.  But my net was my faith and a belief in myself and my ability to chart my own course.

Here are the three principles that have served me through these and other transitions and allowed me to go beyond a change of place (or other life situation) to a place of growth and even joy:

1- I take full responsibility for my life.  No excuses.  My choices.  My responsibility.

2- My vision of the future is my touchstone for today’s decisions and actions.

3- The answer can and will always be found when I ask the right question.

There is abundant freedom in these principles.  I share them with you with the hope that they speak to you as they have spoken to me.

Never forget that our best days are always in front of us.  There is more value in the rest of your story than you can possibly imagine. Live today like you want tomorrow to be.  Live well.

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Personal thoughts & insights, Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

What a difference a day makes…

January 2, 2014 By

 

Holiday Calendar. New year dayJanuary 2, 2014 – Just another day on the calendar. Nothing unique about this date which is quite a change when you think about all of the focus we gave to yesterday.  Today is when the routine of reality begins to collide with the promises we made for the New Year.  All of those resolutions, choosing of focus words, creation of goals and great intentions are now put to the test.

Because today is just another day on the calendar and our old habits do not know we made all of these new promises.

Old habits are the result of our mindset.  And our mindset works like a thermostat for setting the patterns of our life.  That makes today far more important than yesterday. All days may be created equal, but that is not how they are invested. And the first lesson of faithful is that when it comes to “days”, none is more important than today.

So how do we overcome the gap between the promises we made on January 1st and the realities of January 2nd? How do we create an environment that encourages our success? How do we set ourselves up to keep our promises? To actually live our promise?

The key is recognizing the value of the how we are investing our time, our days.  When was the last time you logged your activities? I’m not talking about just what you enter into your calendar.  This involves everything you do.  If it’s been awhile, that may be a good thing for you to consider doing in these first few days of 2014.  Why? Because we aren’t going to change what we aren’t aware is happening.

Self awareness is the first step to personal development and achieving all of those goals we have set for ourselves.  When I work with clients that want to stop thinking about success and truly start to achieve it, this is where we begin.  Getting a defined starting point is the key to creating the right itinerary for our journey.

Doing the exercise is simple enough.  Just start when you get up and each time you change your activity, log it.  If you use a smart phone – you can use that to log it.  If not – just have a small notebook.  Make certain that you log EVERY activity and the starting time.  You do not have to put an ending time – just a start time.  And remember.  This is for YOUR EYES ONLY.  This isn’t anything you would ever need to show anyone else.  It also isn’t about later judgment.  Even for yourself.  It is just logging what you are doing over the course of a day.  If you can manage a few days – that would be even better in terms of the value you can get from this.  My suggestion is to start on a Thursday or Friday and continue to Monday or Tuesday depending on when you started.  So get five days of logging that include 2 or 3 normal week days and your weekend.

If you are like most of us, there are going to be some surprises in store.  Some will bolster confidence, some will become the motivation you need to take some controls back on your time.  But the insights overall will be priceless.  Think of this as a gift you are giving yourself.  And look forward to seeing the results! Because it is all about your success and seeing for yourself what a difference a day makes!

“All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them.” Galileo Galilei

“People are usually more convinced by reasons they discovered themselves than by those found by others.” Blaise Pascal

“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day of the year.”  Ralph Waldo Emerson

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , ,

What’s in a word or 2 or 20? Or perhaps 500?

January 1, 2014 By

digits on the sandEach year now for several years I have made it a practice to choose one word that will be my central philosophical focus for the year.   The practice has served  me  well.  Last year my word was GRATITUDE.  My focus was living from a place of grace.  Finding the gift in every situation, the grace in every exchange.  What an amazing difference that made and continues to make.  What is important to know is that I chose the word at a time when it was a challenge to accept as my true mantra.  But I claimed it and practiced it. And then it claimed me.  It is what I have come to believe to be the only true “positive” thinking we can achieve.  To be grateful. For it all.

As I was reflecting on what my life word would be for 2014 I decided to re-visit what I wrote on the first day of 2013.  Here is a portion of that post:

“One of the lessons I have learned is that we can’t always wait for change to find us.  Even in this time of such overwhelming opportunity.  Sometimes we need to become the architect of the change, the growth we need.  After all, whatever we become, we will still be our unique selves, more evolved, hopefully wiser.  But still ourselves.”

Going back and reading the words after 2013 is now behind me brought to light that one of the lessons of this past year was the counter-point to this.  Sometimes we need to wait and allow change to happen. I will admit that I struggle with this.  I’m not a patient person.  I want things done.  Now.  The realization and shift for me was that by not allowing some time for my life soup to simmer a bit I was in fact rushing past incredible opportunities and joy.

Sometimes the BEST is something unknown yet to us.  I am grateful that I was led to the path that now allows a balance of patience and persistence.  One of my favorite quotes on the subject comes from Criss Jami: “The common man prays, ‘I want a cookie right now!’ And God responds, ‘If you’d listen to what I say, tomorrow it will bring you 100 cookies.”

The result for me was being able to focus on the day, just the day.  The work to be done this day.  The love to be given this day.  The lessons to be learned this day.  The most incredible and intricate tapestries can only happen one stitch at a time.  The most beautiful and inspiring works of art are created one stroke at a time.  The most soul stretching melodies are written one note at a time.  And so it is with our lives.  We live them not in years but in days, even in moments. To have the tomorrow that we want, we must live it today.  Live today like you want tomorrow to be.  That was a  transformational lesson for me in the past year and what I take with me into 2014.

And from this my life word has found me:  FAITHFUL.  To be faithful.  I am grateful for all of the lessons and blessings in my life.  But to be truly grateful, means that I must also live faithfully to my promise.  Therein lies the true power source of an incredible life.  Gratitude for God’s promises.  Being faithful to my promises.  Every day.

And so the journey goes on as I continue to grow and evolve.  My focus is different now.  It is about making and keeping the right promises.  Each day.

“Being faithful in the smallest things is the way to gain, maintain, and demonstrate the strength needed to accomplish something great.” (Alex Harris)

You are invited to join me here and to share the journey.  Come explore with me what it means to be faithful and to live without regret.  The writings themselves will be a promise to be faithful.  To bring you 500 words or more each day of January.  That is my first promise.  What will your first promise be for 2014?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Personal thoughts & insights, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

A Year of Grateful Living

December 13, 2013 By

2014 new year signAt the beginning of 2013 there were a number of things happening in my life and in the lives of those dear to me that were hard.  Whether the word used to describe them is challenges, tough times, lessons or any other of the terms that could be used (and would be true), what is universally correct is that they were hard.  And they weren’t situations that would just disappear overnight.

Stretched before us were months and perhaps even years of “hard”.   Outcomes could not be known.  It seemed that all we could do was take it one day at a time and keep moving through life.  But there was something more we could do, that I could do.  We could claim gratitude.  I could practice gratitude.  In everything.  Even the things that were hard.

As we near the end of 2013, while some of the “hard” things remain they no longer feel quite so immense.  Just being grateful has moved many from the “hard” column to the “now possible” column. And beyond the circumstance we all have that choice.  How will we see it?  How will we feel about it?  It’s not a simple matter of response.  It gets into our emotions and core.  Our personal energy is either provisioned or depleted.  All by our choice of feeling.  So many lessons have come from this past year.  And so many gifts have found their way to my door.  How they arrived may have appeared otherwise but once unwrapped – the gifts were all of grace.

Over the remaining days of 2013,  I will be sharing here some of the best and the brightest of those gifts.  And so on this day – this first day of acknowledging the many gifts of 2013 let me start with you.  Thank you to those that have joined me here.  My life has been richly blessed by our friendships – new and old!

What gifts have come your way in 2013?  Let’s all practice gratitude together and share the joy!

Filed Under: Personal thoughts & insights, Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , ,
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