What happens at halfway?

June 3, 2014 By

JuneAs the calendar flipped over to June,  I began reviewing where I am so far this year on my intentions and goals for 2014. The halfway point is nearly here and that’s a critical point in any endeavor.

Here are three reasons the half-way point is a valuable milestone:

1)  We have more behind than ahead of us which can be an added push element.  For example, if I’m in a challenge to do something every day, week or month for a specific period of time, when the numbers completed are greater than those left to go, a successful finish becomes more real.

2)  If the obstacles have been great, the half-way mark can be where we throw up our hands and quit if our motivation isn’t strong enough to mandate an innovated approach to turning things around. Here is the power of hope in our quest. If we don’t require ourselves to believe with active faith, we will see the road ahead just like the road behind and discouragement can be our nemesis.

3)  If we’re ahead of our pace, the half-way mark can be where we up our game and make a commitment to a stronger finish. While this can be a great motivator and in many cases is exactly the right response, we also have to recognize that celebrating our progress and allowing it to be enough for the day is also part of building self-confidence for other goals as well.

Recently, I have been reflecting on what has made the most difference throughout history where there were significant shifts and change that has profoundly impacted us today.  It is clear that while the specifics were varied, the basic principles remained true.  The same initial three elements were in play: a vision, a decision and action.  The game changer though is in the fourth element:  Commitment.  You can substitute many words here such as discipline, resolve, perseverance even integrity. But it all comes down to the same thing. We must stay with it to finish it.

As we’re coming to the halfway point of 2014, here are some words of wisdom to inspire and motivate us on to success:

“It’s not enough to do our best; sometimes we have to do what’s required.” (Winston Churchill)

“It’s not what you are going to do, but it’s what you are doing now that counts.”  (Napoleon Hill)

“Success is the doing, not the getting; in the trying, not the triumph. Success is a personal standard, reaching for the highest that is in us, becoming all that we can be.” (Zig Ziglar)

And with the quotes, there is always a question in order to put them to work. Here is the one that I ask everyday:

“How am I going to live today in order to create the tomorrow I’m committed to?” (Tony Robbins)

 

 

 

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Possibilities & Perspective, Success & Significance, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Coaching Insight: 3 Steps to a Healthy Mindset

May 20, 2014 By

Over the past few years I have invested thousands of hours into researching how people are able to effectively grow and change.  After all, we know that success leaves clues and being able to grow is the most elemental change we can experience in our lives. My research included hundreds of interviews, listening to recordings from thought leaders and reading scores of books written by experts on change and personal development.  It has also included observation within my own life and working with clients as a life coach. And what I have confirmed is that everything begins with our mindset.

Believe You Can You're Halfway There Words Saying QuoteEarl Nightingale stated it this way:  “We become what we think about”.  Jim Rohn taught that before you can accomplish anything you must first believe it is possible and then believe it is possible for you.

One of William James’ most quoted lines is this: “The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.” And from the Bible in Mark 9:23: “If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.”

It’s clear that unless we believe, we are not going to achieve.

Given the importance then of mindset, how do we proactively create one that is healthy and in tune with our vision and mission? I believe that there are three essential steps that make this possible.

Step 1:  Make peace with the past.   Here is where we usually trip up first.  We limit our future based on our past.  Our past is meant to prepare us for the future, not predict it.  In fact, some of the greatest achievers now and from history are those that have used challenges in their past to propel them to a better life.  We must make peace with our past.  The steps for that can vary but in essence, it involves achieving a state of grace through forgiveness of ourselves and others so that we can live from a place of gratitude.

Step 2:  Be honest about the present and take responsibility for it.  Personal responsibility is a significant factor for personal growth.  As long as we play the blame game, we are in fact imprisoning ourselves as a victim.  We live “at the mercy” of circumstances or other people.  Once we are honest about where we are and take responsibility for our life and everything in it, we are in actuality empowering ourselves to change it.

Step 3:  Act based on faith in the future.  It is not enough to have hope.  Hope means we “might” succeed. It’s enough to start, but it won’t be enough to finish.  Faith means we believe that we will.  It means we won’t accept anything less.

Three steps to a healthy mindset.  Sounds simple and yet it isn’t always easy.  Because we’ve had years of practice thinking the way we think now.  We’ve had years to let limiting beliefs and judgments cloud our vision.  But it’s where we must start.  We must set a new mindset.  A new expectation that we allow to become a core belief. 

Think about this for yourself.  In what area of your life would you most like to experience growth in the next 90 days?  What growth would you like to see?

Do you believe it’s possible?

Do you believe it’s possible for you?

Then you’re ready!  The first hurdle is behind you.  If not, I’d like to help.  Because you matter to me.  And your life matters to others as well, now and for many generations to follow.

Think well to live well.

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , ,

Abracadabra: The Power of Words

May 7, 2014 By

Anyone who has watched a magician perform has heard the word abracadabra.  It is indelibly linked to transformation.  Magical change.

According to Wikipedia, its origins are in the Aramaic language.  The original word has two parts:  “ibra” which means “I have created” and “k’dibra” which means “through my speech”.

How fantastic that one of the most well known words associated with transformational magic means “I have created through my speech”. 

As a writer, it is always my desire to illustrate, to instruct, to inspire, to entertain.  As a reader, it is my desire to experience the same in return.

The telling of the story, even within non-fiction is like being the unseen tour guide that transports someone from where they are to another place.  When reading fiction, that is essential.  We want to be transported – to another place, another life, another world.

While reading non-fiction may be more akin to being transformed, it still transports us to a new place.  In either case, what we read is as powerful as an “abracadabra” experience.

Whether we are fully aware of it or not, the written information we take in does influence the way we think, believe, speak and act.  The words of others can help us see other points of view.  And to see (and hear..) not only new thoughts, but new ways of expressing old thoughts.

New words, new phrases, new points of view.  In every genre, that is the case.

What will you create through your speech?  Unleash your inner magician.   Write.  Speak.  Create.

 

 

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , ,

Coaching insight: What’s your baseline?

May 3, 2014 By

There is wonderful insight in this quote from happiness expert and author Doe Zantamata:

Measuring Growth“If your parents ever measured you as a child, they had you stand against a wall, and made a little pencil mark on the wall to show your growth. They did not measure you against your brother, or the neighbor’s kids, or kids on TV. When you measure your growth, make sure to only measure your today self by your past self. If you compare your relationships, your success, or your anything against anyone else, you are not being fair to you. Everyone has a different path, a different pace, and different challenges to face along the way.”

When we really take the truth of this in and understand it, we also begin to understand the power that lies in what is uniquely “us”.  Just as others have their own path, we too have our own and that means we also bring our own contribution to the world. So measure away.. just be certain that you’re measuring to the right baseline.  And remember, it is far better to create (grow) than to compete. Imagine that world!

 

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , ,

5 Tips to help adjust your view of change

April 28, 2014 By

Change and Choice and GrowthWhenever the subject of change comes up, there are mixed reactions.  Where we are in life, what we’ve experienced and our relationship with change will influence our response.  Even to the word!  But we didn’t start that way.  In fact, in our beginnings, change was the goal!

Travel back in time with me to when we were young.  Think about what got applause in your life:  First sounds, first words, first sentences!  First roll-over, first crawl, first steps! We progressed and that is change.  Change is about progress.  It is about growing.  All change.  Even the change that at first seems like it’s stopping you ultimately is just pausing you and for a purpose.

It can be tricky though to always embrace that idea and to go back to our earliest relationship with change.  And it definitely will not happen in an instant.  Like other “conditioned” responses in life, we have to do a bit of re-programming.  And that can take some effort.  But it can also be fun and the start of a life encompassing adventure.

Ready to get started?  It’s easier than you think.  Let’s go back to childhood and try a few oldies but goodies on for size. Here are my top five favorites to help turn your battle with change into your dance with change:

1)  Try a new food!  Remember this one?  How long has it been since you tried a new vegetable?  Even a new salad dressing? A new kind of fruit? Take a trip to a Farmer’s Market in your area and find something new and try it.  Ask the wait staff at your favorite restaurant to recommend something new for you to try. Try a new taste!

2)  Try some new music! This one is perhaps one of my favorites.  Are you a single genre kind of person? Or maybe you don’t have music in your life at all. Get some music in your life and mix it up.  Think you hate classical? Think again.  Try listening to some renditions from modern musicians like The Piano Guys.  You’ll hear things you never heard before.  What about some jazz? Not sure what’s out there? Ask your kids or grand-kids.  Or just spend some time on iTunes.  If you’re more visual, try YouTube videos in different genres.  The key is to give your brain a different beat to hear for a bit.  Soothing or salsa – it’s all great for the mind & soul.  And can be great for the body if it inspires you to move!

3)  Try some new words!  It would probably be a tie for me for this one with music because I do love language.  But think about your progression of knowledge as a young person.  Vocabulary was a big part of that.  We even had a minimum number of words a week to learn! Not sure where to start? Register for some of the word of the day messages.  My granddaughter and I had great fun with this one.  We both registered so we got the same word each day for a few months.  We so enjoyed coming up with ways to use those words.  It made us both better communicators.

4)  Try a different activity! When was the last time you broke your routine? Does one day run into the next because you basically do the same things every day? Why not introduce something different?  What is something you’ve been wanting to try? Or just begin again? Make a commitment to introduce a new activity into your schedule and then do it! It can be something as simple as walking every day.  Or beginning to journal.  The key is to do something that you already have the skills and resources to do.  Get creative. Maybe you always eat out.  Try cooking one night a week.  Or maybe for you it’s the reverse and you need to break the routine and get out more. Another idea is to switch up how you spend your time off, even lunch hours.  One of my clients began going to an art gallery or museum once a week.  It really had a domino effect and before she knew it, she had a whole new circle of friends and a vibrant social life that filled a void for her.

5)  Meet someone new! This one should be simple today given how much technology helps us reach out to people but we seem to still be pretty set within our circles.  Quite often, just changing our network can be the fundamental stimulus we can have for bringing significant growth into our lives.  Are you going back in time on this one? Remember the fear and hope as we started each new “year”? Who will still be there? Who were the “new” kids? Remember hearing about the influence of who you were “hanging out with”? Guess what – it’s still true! It is said that in any area of our life, we will not consistently achieve more than the average of the five people we spend the most time with or has the most influence over us. When we change our circle of influence, we change.  And as a result, so does our life.

Five very simple things you can begin right now.  It doesn’t take any more time.  Time is time.  It does mean you will use your time differently.  It doesn’t take any more money.  Not really.  But it could mean spending your money differently.  But isn’t that the point? We can’t expect our lives to change if we are not willing to grow and change.  Start with you.  And start where you don’t have to be afraid.  Start where change is about adventure and adding interest and color into your life.

Be sure and come back and share your experiences with us here.  You’ll be an inspiration for all of us!

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , ,

The who, what, when, where, how & why of FAITH

April 20, 2014 By

Faith_Faithful_EasterMy personal focus word for this year is faithful. When I chose the word, it was within the context of being faithful to my promise and to my promises. That is key in my life right now because it is a very real struggle, one that by choosing the word I fully acknowledged. I want to be faithful. I yearn to be faithful. And I have found that it is not easy. Because there are many influences inside of me and in my environment that quite often encourage the opposite of faithful. And some of them are there for a good purpose.

Blind faith is not necessarily a good thing. I am learning that there is a middle ground between absolute faith in something and impervious skepticism. It is the place of the student. One of my brothers puts it this way: Trust, but verify. So what happens when you can’t verify? When faith and trust are in fact the ultimate intuitive judgment call? That is the ageless question that faces many of us particularly when it comes to faith within a spiritual context.

What do you accept as proof? How do you believe purely on the basis of faith at a deep enough level for it to challenge and change you? For me, it comes down to this: We must make a decision, a choice based on what we do know.  In too many cases, we drift into our spiritual belief system based on the experiences of our childhood. We either reject what we experienced because we saw hypocrisy or experienced some perceived personal harm or we embrace it as a part of a legacy we’re intended to continue. Neither of those are, in fact, a valid choosing, they are default responses. We must each make a definitive choice or it is not our belief.

For me, it became a matter of three questions:

  1. Do I know what I believe?
  2. Do I know what I don’t believe?
  3. How do I demonstrate my belief?

The core word in all three questions? I

I often refer to my early mentor, Jim Rohn and on this subject he was a critical catalyst.  Here are his thoughts paraphrased:  Whatever you believe, be certain that is the product of your own conclusion. It is at the core of your personal philosophy and will impact everything you do in life. Start there. Be clear that your belief system and philosophy is the product of your own conclusion.

Are there hard facts to back up my belief? Perhaps or perhaps not. But there was sufficient evidence for me throughout history and in my own life to persuade and answer my questions.

Am I clear about what I believe? Yes. There isn’t anything ambiguous about my belief.

Am I clear about what I do not believe? In general. But it is here that there is always room for study and questions. From that will come more answers. In only choosing to be absolute in what I believe, I have created a better place for continued growth and understanding.

How do I demonstrate my belief? Here is where it all comes together because in truth, I demonstrate it in everything. If it is a true belief it influences everything. I believe in God as my creator. I believe I am made in His image and that I too have the ability and need to create. I believe in God as my companion. I believe I was made for the purpose of having a relationship with God.  That means an active and ongoing conversation with Him where we both listen and speak. I believe in God as my father. This carries the willingness to follow His guidance and teachings. That means I must study those and continue to grow in my understanding of what He expects of me and from me. I believe in God as my savior. This allows me to experience forgiveness and freedom at a fundamental level. It also means that I accept responsibility for the decisions I make and accept their outcome with respect but without fear.

That is my belief. My belief also includes that I was not created to dictate your belief. Only my own. This is the ultimate expression of personal responsibility. To celebrate my own belief I must acknowledge your freedom to choose your own without judgment. Because in the end, my belief was born from ultimate and unconditional love.

  • We create in love.
  • We communicate in love.
  • We grow in love.
  • We live in love.

That is the essence of what I believe and is my faith. It is then the essence and basis of faithful. As I was writing about this today I was reminded that it is only by practicing my faith that I am able to be faithful. A life that is created, shares, grows and is ultimately expressed in love including for ourselves, can only produce a life that has that as its outcome. It is only when we deviate from that guidance system that we falter.

A quote I saw recently was this:  “Strive to be remembered for what you would die for.” Powerful. That is what this Easter is about for me. A reminder that we must always do that knowing by faith that ultimately, when we are remembered for what we would die for, it is because that is what we lived for.  A compelling view of purpose.

Live well.

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Personal thoughts & insights, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , ,
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