Sometimes we need to live the question to get the answer

June 17, 2014 By

Rainer Maria Rilke was born in Prague.  The year was 1873.   He became one of the most noteworthy poets of his generation.  What was of interest to me was the fact that he was known for his time as the poet that was moving the work from more traditional writings to modern language.  The world it would seem has always been in some sort of transition.  Just as we are now.

Compass_Paper BoatI learned about Rilke after coming across a quote from him. It was one of those moments in time where you have to stop and soak it in.

So many of us in this “baby boomer” generation find ourselves in far more than the expected times of transition.  We find ourselves in uncharted waters, territory unfamiliar to us.  We too are finding a need to go from what we expected (the traditional) to a new reality (modern).

As determined as we may be to find answers, sometimes we need to stop for a moment or two before those can be revealed. Sometimes, Rilke suggests, we need to live in the question for a bit. And live our way into the answer.

“Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart

and try to love the questions themselves,

as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language.

Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now,

because you would not be able to live them.

And the point is to live everything. Live the question now.

Perhaps then, some day far in the future,

you will gradually without even noticing it,

live your way into the answer.”

– Rainer Maria Rilke

Words worth remembering.  Wisdom worth thinking about.

So simple.  So effective.

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Coaching Insight: The law of 2 out of 3

June 11, 2014 By

2 Out of 3Much of my corporate career focused on business systems development and information delivery.  A lesson I learned quite early from one of my favorite mentors was that the key to creating the right balance of stretch and reality for project commitments was to understand that when looking at the what, when and how much questions, we never actually get to define all three.  We really only get to define two out of the three.  We can decide which two are most important, but the third is always going to be determined by the other two.

It just didn’t seem plausible to me at first that you could tell someone that they could only have a say on two out of three of the parameters.  After all, the customer is still the customer and they get to say what they want to say.  Right? Wrong.  They only get to decide two out of the three.  They want to do X within time frame Y.  That means the cost is going to be Z.  Or they can say that they want to pay A and have it done within time frame B which in turn defines C (what will in fact get done).   And of course they could say that they want J to be done and they are willing to pay K which then creates L as the time frame possible.  It never failed in over 20 years of project scope definitions and commitments.  The law of two out of three.  You choose the two that are the most critical and the third gets set.  If the client didn’t like the third, they had to change one of the other two.

This law has been coming back to me quite a bit lately as I work on projects myself in my own life and business and am setting some targets to wrap up in the last half of 2014.   At first glance it would seem that the timing is set.  From now until the end of 2014.  That’s a clear time table.  So the next step is to look at the “list” of what I want to get done and the availability of resources (time & money) as what I’m willing to pay.  Because one is going to mandate the other.  Here’s where it can get interesting and we reveal more about what’s going on with us than we might see at the onset.

It really comes down to whether we are going to allow ourselves to be limited on the “what” or if we’re going to be willing to do “the thing” regardless of the cost.   In most cases, even when we say we will make that level of commitment, there is an unstated ceiling we’re working under.  Or at least that has been my experience personally and what I’ve observed professionally as a coach.  The reality is that the real constant is always what we’re willing to pay.  Until we really are willing to take that off the table as our criteria of choice and be prepared to truly commit whatever it takes the real choice is in results and timelines.  Because the law of two out of three does exist. Some food for thought as we all look ahead and make those choices.

 

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , ,

What happens at halfway?

June 3, 2014 By

JuneAs the calendar flipped over to June,  I began reviewing where I am so far this year on my intentions and goals for 2014. The halfway point is nearly here and that’s a critical point in any endeavor.

Here are three reasons the half-way point is a valuable milestone:

1)  We have more behind than ahead of us which can be an added push element.  For example, if I’m in a challenge to do something every day, week or month for a specific period of time, when the numbers completed are greater than those left to go, a successful finish becomes more real.

2)  If the obstacles have been great, the half-way mark can be where we throw up our hands and quit if our motivation isn’t strong enough to mandate an innovated approach to turning things around. Here is the power of hope in our quest. If we don’t require ourselves to believe with active faith, we will see the road ahead just like the road behind and discouragement can be our nemesis.

3)  If we’re ahead of our pace, the half-way mark can be where we up our game and make a commitment to a stronger finish. While this can be a great motivator and in many cases is exactly the right response, we also have to recognize that celebrating our progress and allowing it to be enough for the day is also part of building self-confidence for other goals as well.

Recently, I have been reflecting on what has made the most difference throughout history where there were significant shifts and change that has profoundly impacted us today.  It is clear that while the specifics were varied, the basic principles remained true.  The same initial three elements were in play: a vision, a decision and action.  The game changer though is in the fourth element:  Commitment.  You can substitute many words here such as discipline, resolve, perseverance even integrity. But it all comes down to the same thing. We must stay with it to finish it.

As we’re coming to the halfway point of 2014, here are some words of wisdom to inspire and motivate us on to success:

“It’s not enough to do our best; sometimes we have to do what’s required.” (Winston Churchill)

“It’s not what you are going to do, but it’s what you are doing now that counts.”  (Napoleon Hill)

“Success is the doing, not the getting; in the trying, not the triumph. Success is a personal standard, reaching for the highest that is in us, becoming all that we can be.” (Zig Ziglar)

And with the quotes, there is always a question in order to put them to work. Here is the one that I ask everyday:

“How am I going to live today in order to create the tomorrow I’m committed to?” (Tony Robbins)

 

 

 

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Possibilities & Perspective, Success & Significance, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Coaching Insight: 3 Steps to a Healthy Mindset

May 20, 2014 By

Over the past few years I have invested thousands of hours into researching how people are able to effectively grow and change.  After all, we know that success leaves clues and being able to grow is the most elemental change we can experience in our lives. My research included hundreds of interviews, listening to recordings from thought leaders and reading scores of books written by experts on change and personal development.  It has also included observation within my own life and working with clients as a life coach. And what I have confirmed is that everything begins with our mindset.

Believe You Can You're Halfway There Words Saying QuoteEarl Nightingale stated it this way:  “We become what we think about”.  Jim Rohn taught that before you can accomplish anything you must first believe it is possible and then believe it is possible for you.

One of William James’ most quoted lines is this: “The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.” And from the Bible in Mark 9:23: “If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.”

It’s clear that unless we believe, we are not going to achieve.

Given the importance then of mindset, how do we proactively create one that is healthy and in tune with our vision and mission? I believe that there are three essential steps that make this possible.

Step 1:  Make peace with the past.   Here is where we usually trip up first.  We limit our future based on our past.  Our past is meant to prepare us for the future, not predict it.  In fact, some of the greatest achievers now and from history are those that have used challenges in their past to propel them to a better life.  We must make peace with our past.  The steps for that can vary but in essence, it involves achieving a state of grace through forgiveness of ourselves and others so that we can live from a place of gratitude.

Step 2:  Be honest about the present and take responsibility for it.  Personal responsibility is a significant factor for personal growth.  As long as we play the blame game, we are in fact imprisoning ourselves as a victim.  We live “at the mercy” of circumstances or other people.  Once we are honest about where we are and take responsibility for our life and everything in it, we are in actuality empowering ourselves to change it.

Step 3:  Act based on faith in the future.  It is not enough to have hope.  Hope means we “might” succeed. It’s enough to start, but it won’t be enough to finish.  Faith means we believe that we will.  It means we won’t accept anything less.

Three steps to a healthy mindset.  Sounds simple and yet it isn’t always easy.  Because we’ve had years of practice thinking the way we think now.  We’ve had years to let limiting beliefs and judgments cloud our vision.  But it’s where we must start.  We must set a new mindset.  A new expectation that we allow to become a core belief. 

Think about this for yourself.  In what area of your life would you most like to experience growth in the next 90 days?  What growth would you like to see?

Do you believe it’s possible?

Do you believe it’s possible for you?

Then you’re ready!  The first hurdle is behind you.  If not, I’d like to help.  Because you matter to me.  And your life matters to others as well, now and for many generations to follow.

Think well to live well.

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , ,

Abracadabra: The Power of Words

May 7, 2014 By

Anyone who has watched a magician perform has heard the word abracadabra.  It is indelibly linked to transformation.  Magical change.

According to Wikipedia, its origins are in the Aramaic language.  The original word has two parts:  “ibra” which means “I have created” and “k’dibra” which means “through my speech”.

How fantastic that one of the most well known words associated with transformational magic means “I have created through my speech”. 

As a writer, it is always my desire to illustrate, to instruct, to inspire, to entertain.  As a reader, it is my desire to experience the same in return.

The telling of the story, even within non-fiction is like being the unseen tour guide that transports someone from where they are to another place.  When reading fiction, that is essential.  We want to be transported – to another place, another life, another world.

While reading non-fiction may be more akin to being transformed, it still transports us to a new place.  In either case, what we read is as powerful as an “abracadabra” experience.

Whether we are fully aware of it or not, the written information we take in does influence the way we think, believe, speak and act.  The words of others can help us see other points of view.  And to see (and hear..) not only new thoughts, but new ways of expressing old thoughts.

New words, new phrases, new points of view.  In every genre, that is the case.

What will you create through your speech?  Unleash your inner magician.   Write.  Speak.  Create.

 

 

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , ,

Coaching insight: What’s your baseline?

May 3, 2014 By

There is wonderful insight in this quote from happiness expert and author Doe Zantamata:

Measuring Growth“If your parents ever measured you as a child, they had you stand against a wall, and made a little pencil mark on the wall to show your growth. They did not measure you against your brother, or the neighbor’s kids, or kids on TV. When you measure your growth, make sure to only measure your today self by your past self. If you compare your relationships, your success, or your anything against anyone else, you are not being fair to you. Everyone has a different path, a different pace, and different challenges to face along the way.”

When we really take the truth of this in and understand it, we also begin to understand the power that lies in what is uniquely “us”.  Just as others have their own path, we too have our own and that means we also bring our own contribution to the world. So measure away.. just be certain that you’re measuring to the right baseline.  And remember, it is far better to create (grow) than to compete. Imagine that world!

 

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , ,
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