Do you have what it takes?

January 10, 2018 By

It’s a question that in some form we often ask.

What will it take to do something, have something, be something?

What will it take to have more of something, less of something or be done with it altogether?

What will it take? Do I have it?

 

When I stopped to really consider where I have succeeded in attaining a goal and where it has alluded me, I found that there were five things that have made a significant difference. A few of them surprised me but as they say, success leaves clues and these have proven themselves by their presence many times over. It is less about what it takes in terms of what we do, and more of what it takes for who we need to be.

#1 – Be comfortable being a beginner

Quite often when we have already achieved success in some area of our life we tend to get comfortable being in that “attainment” mode. But that holds us back.  To move on to what is next, we must be willing to once again be that beginner. What does that mean? It means recognizing there is still so much to take in. It means staying curious. It means recognizing that to be valued as a teacher, we must continuously seek deeper value as a student.

#2 – Embrace being yourself

It is quite possible, perhaps even advisable to follow a prescribed path to get somewhere. But it would be invalid to think that it would be the only way to get there. The path we choose is just that, a choice. There is only one way to fully embrace our individuality and value and that is by taking responsibility for ourselves and determining the value we want to create. Those that go far beyond success and attain significance in their impact and influence are those that take responsibility for their part of the story. We must first embrace ourselves before we can truly embrace the world and influence others. What determines if you have what it takes? It isn’t  a what, it’s a who. And the who is you.

#3- Relish making a choice

Those able to continuously move into their best place for success have this as a distinctive part of their modus operandi. They choose. And they choose timely. Because no choice is still a choice. Not saying yes is the equivalent of no. Indecision is indeed a myth.

The most critical insight for me was recognizing that how we handle the seemingly small choices in life is the best predictor of how we will manage the more significant opportunities. If we aren’t making good choices within our day, ultimately that shows up as ineffective choices for our lives.

#4- Crave mastery

Competition is not something that drives me. In fact, I tend to reject any situations that have a highly competitive energy. It just doesn’t resonate with me. But I am highly driven. Gaining an understanding of that distinction was invaluable for me. What drives me? Mastering my craft. Learning something well and finding even greater depths and capacity within myself. Good can be the enemy of great when greatness is the real goal. Regardless of what we choose as our form of measurement, the desired result is the same: Mastery – Being the absolute best we can be.

#5- Live from a place of gratitude

This has been the most significant constant throughout the best experiences in my life. Gratitude is not just being appreciative of what someone does for us. Gratitude is a recognition of everything that has made good possible. It is a constant seeking of the good in order to show our appreciation for it, celebrate it. In his program MindHack, David Bayer teaches that gratitude in its basic form is energy. That was such a profound image to soak in. Living from a state of gratitude, a state of grace is living from the purest form of energy available to us.

Imagine these thoughts as a mantra, a manifesto for your life. That’s what I’m working toward in mine just now. Since our true legacy will be determined by how we live rather than what we leave, I am seeking qualities that are worthy.

It’s interesting to me as well that the same things that are true for ourselves as individuals for making a difference are also true as a foundation for bringing together those that we lead.

Imagine a group that is committed to constant curiosity and growth, willing to stake their uniqueness in the world, take the risks that will propel them into greatness, do the work that will sustain that position and ultimately celebrate everything and everyone that made it all possible.

My bet would be that they would indeed have what it takes.

Filed Under: Adjusted Sails, Learning & Growth, Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Success Live: Where everything old is new again…

May 7, 2017 By

Success Magazine has been an integral part of my personal development strategy for many years. I look forward to getting the new edition each month and a subscription is one of my favorite things to gift to those brave enough to show me their potential. When they recently created a new opportunity for learning and connection it was an easy choice to say yes.

Success Live. A single day. Just one block on the calendar. Something to look forward to as much (or perhaps more) for the break in routine as for attending the actual event. An easy yes but frankly not really a star on the page. In all candor, that was how I thought about it. Until I experienced it.

I had forgotten the power of new perspectives.  I had forgotten the energy boost of being in the room. The virtual world is a good thing. It has enriched my life enormously but there is still something to be said for being in the room. When I look back over the past few years, it is clear my most significant personal and professional breakthroughs had their genesis in events I’ve attended in-person.

This conference was different however from most in terms of format. Fourteen speakers. In one day. Seven before lunch. Seven after lunch. And lunch was the only break. You really had to engage to keep up. No time for a wandering mind. If you stopped paying attention you would miss something. And from the very first speaker what you knew without a doubt was that you did not want to miss anything.

Time tested principals and philosophies were front and center. But with fresh voices and life stories demonstrating their continued relevance for all of us.

Here are a few highlights from my notes:

From Brendon Burchard we heard again from Aristotle, who also influenced Will Durant’s writings in his book The Story of Philosophy (1926). He spoke about the science of habit. If you want to know how extraordinary people achieve that status – this is how:

“Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but we rather have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.”

Motivation may be what gets us started, but it is habit in the end that gets us to the finish line. We don’t make a difference by what we start, we earn that influence by what we repeatedly do.

Listening to Tom Bilyeu (co-founder of Quest Nutrition) I was reminded of David Bayer’s work which I discovered at a conference last year. Tom’s work also includes the interview series Impact Theory which is rich beyond measure for those of us seeking to understand mastery of our thoughts and self-discipline. His interview with Lewis Howes, another presenter at this event is well worth the listen.

Tom’s presentation was especially valuable to me as this is where I’m spending a great deal of time in self-reflection right now – the idea of keeping our promises to ourselves and installing the right disciplines to help us reach our full potential.

His signature statement for me was this: “Do and believe that which moves you to your greatness.”

It really comes down to these two questions:

  • Who do you want to become?
  • What price are you willing to pay to get there?

Another speaker that has stayed with me was Jonathan Fields. This was a lesson for me in staying open. I wasn’t familiar with his work and his presentation was later in the day. I was nearing capacity for taking in information. What I can share with you is that I have very few notes from his presentation. He drew me in from the start and I didn’t want to interrupt the experience even with notes. It was the presentation in a day of excellence that moved me the most. Since then I have been living with his voice in my head and I’ve been studying his thoughts through his books and other resources. His story is so powerful. His book Uncertainty is what I’m currently reading. There is no question that my future endeavors and writings will be influenced by what I’m learning from him.

A day of reflection and questions. Questions that we need to be asking ourselves continuously to ensure that we are always striving to live our best life and be of optimal service in the world.

These were the challenges I took home with me:

  • What decision have you been unwilling to make?
  • What action have you been unwilling to take?
  • What connection have you been unwilling to initiate?
  • What goal have you be unwilling to set?

Giving ourselves permission to face these questions is where the process begins.  Empowering ourselves to take the next action as we answer these questions is where the transformation begins. Continuing to ask these questions is where our gifts can reach their highest possibilities.

I trust that what I brought home with me also resonates with you. Always remember that there is more value in the rest of your story than you ever dreamed possible. Live today in the belief that you are creating the tomorrow that will transport you beyond achievement to joyous fulfillment.

Live well.

P.S. There is another Success Live event coming up in September.  If you’re looking to capture this experience for yourself, take advantage of the early bird registration. You won’t be disappointed.

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Possibilities & Perspective, Success & Significance, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

What will you never outgrow?

February 22, 2017 By

At a recent conference, one of the keynote speakers shared lessons he learned from Coach Don Meyer, a much loved and respected college basketball coach who left an indelible mark on everyone that knew him.

There were three key rules that Coach Meyer lived by and expected his teams to honor as well. They seem simple when you first hear them but great depth is within them.

He said that he was resolved to never outgrow by any titles or status he may have achieved, the mindset of these three rules. Throughout his life, and because of him, countless other lives, they were a guiding compass for always knowing the next right thing to do.

The first rule was that everybody takes notes. We are never finished learning and growing. We all need to pay attention and take notes. What works, what doesn’t work. Champions pay attention and they take notes. They stay in development mode always.

His second rule was simply this: Everybody says please and thank you. Everyone to everyone. We are always living from a state of grace. Everyone merits respect. Everyone.

When it came to the third rule, I will admit that it wasn’t what I expected but after reflection it made perfect sense: Everybody picks up the trash. We are all responsible to leave wherever we are better than we found it. We are all responsible to do whatever it takes to get the job done. Even if that is picking up the trash.

One of my favorite quotes from him came from that third rule. He said that picking up trash didn’t win any titles but every title they ever won came from the fact that they picked up the trash. They always did whatever it took and they left every game better than when they arrived.

It begs the question for all of us of what our guiding principles might be. What are we resolved to never outgrow? If the answer is lacking, that question is the right place to start. It’s the next right thing to do. And Coach Meyer’s rules might just be a worthy launching point.

There were many legacy teaching moments throughout the conference. It was a compelling reminder that our influence goes well beyond our breath. Another memorable moment for me came from Tom Ziglar, son of Zig Ziglar, one of my Dad’s personal heroes as well as my own. Tom shared this: “Legacy is a transference of habit.”

Such a clear way to think about the legacy we are living. What habits are we transferring? Coach Meyer’s life practices and habits are embedded within his rules: Growth, Gratitude and Grit.

This was my first encounter with Coach Meyer’s story.  If you (like me) want to know more, you can learn about his life and legacy here.

If you’d like to explore your own life and legacy, we’re here for you. As your possibility partner, we are committed to helping you achieve more from the rest of your own story than you ever dreamed possible.

Live today like you want tomorrow to be. Live well.

 

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Possibilities & Perspective, Success & Significance, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Legacy of John Chapman

January 30, 2017 By

Legacy has come up as a topic in several conversations of late. It’s a subject that I think about quite a bit, especially as I’m aging and looking at how our values evolve and grow over the years. Legacy to me used to be about what I left behind and how I would be remembered in terms of accomplishment and contribution. I see it differently now. Now I see it as being about what I live more than what I leave – what I begin more than what I finish.

The impact of our lives is most valuable when we see it from the perspective of how we influence the lives of others. As a life coach, I recognize that my role is being a catalyst. It isn’t my role to create personal change. That is up to the client. I can plant the seeds but they must be the ones to take on the job of gardener and bring them to life.

This thought brought me to the idea of a tree. I still believe that trees are the best example possible of what legacy really means. When a tree is planted, we know that it’s fullness will only be realized over time, in fact over many years. My brother and I planted trees in our first backyard with my Dad. We lived there 15 years and they were still not at their peak. We visited another 10 years later, 25 years after they were planted and we were in awe of them. But our connection to them came from the fact that we had been there when they were just a seedling. It was such a privilege to go back and see them after all that time and appreciate what had come from our effort.

That’s the thing about legacies, it’s not common for us to be able to witness their full value and impact because what we plant with our lives continues to grow long after we’ve moved on. We want to KNOW what we’re leaving. But in truth, what we leave is so much more than we can ever imagine.

One legendary figure that’s specific to trees that bears mention is John Chapman. You know him best as Johnny Appleseed.

The most popular stories about him have him spreading apple seeds randomly everywhere he traveled. That’s not really what happened. The true story is that he traveled, extensively. And he did plant apple trees. But with absolute intention. He planted nurseries. He even built fences around them to protect them.

Once they were established, he would leave them in the care of someone local and they would care for them and sell shares of their produce for their mutual benefit.

Each year or two, John would return to check the health of his nurseries and quite often expand them. He was without question a dedicated conservationist but he was also a sound businessman and even then, knew the value of passive income and wealth building from the earth. When he died, he left over 1200 acres of orchards to his sister.

He was considered somewhat eccentric, hence the folklore, but his real legacy was in those trees and what they represented.

It’s not enough to just plant the seed. We must take care for the growing of it and then entrust it to others so that we can move on to plant again. As the Greek proverb teaches:

We must be willing to plant trees

whose shade we will never sit in.

It’s such a powerful metaphor for how to live a meaningful life. Those powerful words from Albert Einstein come to mind again: “Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.” Isn’t that the ultimate legacy? The creation of value that continues to grow beyond us?

Live today like you want tomorrow to be. Live well.

 

 

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Personal thoughts & insights, Possibilities & Perspective, Success & Significance, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

When everything old is new again…

December 6, 2016 By

2016 is nearly behind us. Has it flown by for you? It seems as though it was just a blink ago that I was sharing last year’s holiday season with my daughter and her family in Oklahoma. Soon I will be traveling again for an early Christmas celebration with them.

On days where the rush of time passing by gives me pause, I am reminded of the value in looking back even as we live in the present.

This is one of those subjects where then can be some pesky “fine lines”. There are endless debates and writing on the competing values of looking forward vs. looking back. It can almost make them seem mutually exclusive of each other.

Like me, you have no doubt seen the many social media posts that talk about the “good old days” with a bit of a nostalgic, even bittersweet angst. Those images can appeal to the sentimental yearnings of our nature. However, they can also distort our perspective and set us up to somehow pit the “old days” against the “new days” in some sort of bizarre competitive dance.

One that I found amusing had a picture of an old hand crank operating wringer washing machine. Since that was something I actually used, I could say I definitely remember that one! But I certainly don’t want to trade the multi-everything version I have today that allows me to multi-task laundry with just about anything else I do. And I definitely do not want my old typewriter back! I enjoy the luxuries of modern tools!

So which is right?  Should we yearn for those simpler times of yesteryear or look forward to what is ahead? When we face these kinds of questions, it is where we can miss the opportunity to gain the best we can from every part of our life. We want to make things “either or”. But the truth is that there are very few times when we have to choose, or at the very least, we don’t have to choose exclusively. It is about perspective.

There is a difference between looking to the past and living in the past. Let that sink in a moment. We can look to the past without living there. That means the richness of the past can continue to serve even as we move to the future and all of the new opportunities afforded to us.

Here are six ways looking back can serve us. Using this as a checklist, we can keep things in the right perspective.

The first three focus on others from the past. These can be those from our personal circle or legacies from a broader stage.

  • To honor those that made a difference in the world and our lives
  • To learn from the experiences of those that traveled this path before us
  • To be inspired by the example of others that faced relatable challenges

The next three focus on our personal experience.

  • To see how far we have come.

Sometimes the road ahead can shrink just by looking at the road behind. This can be a highly motivating use of looking back. Even if we haven’t come as far as we’d like, that can be motivating as well. It’s a check-point practice.

  • To use knowledge from a previous experience.

We want to repeat solutions that worked and avoid those that failed. When we are faced with a challenge, it is productive to think back to another time when we were faced with something similar. What did we do?  What can we use in this situation?  This can also boost our self-confidence and allow us to handle challenges with more agility because we’ve mentally already overcome them simply by remembering past victories or knowing what pitfalls to avoid.

  • To give ourselves (and others) the opportunity to change perspectives.

Sometimes in life, particularly where there has been some pain, it can greatly distort our perspective about a person, an exchange or an event. Distance can be a great leveling period that allows us to diffuse the more acute emotional responses and see things with a clearer mind. That allows us to change our own perspective and hopefully, be open to learn, to forgive (ourselves or others) and to build on a stronger layer of understanding and empathy for others.

Three based on others. Three based on ourselves.

Begin today. Look to the past. Embrace it. Leverage it. But don’t live there. Use it to make a better tomorrow:  For yourself, your family, your community and ultimately, our world.

Live (remember) today like you want tomorrow to be. Live (remember) well.

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

Do you struggle with resilience? 3 warning signs to consider

October 15, 2016 By

ResilienceIt’s easy to say that we are resilient. It’s much more challenging to live resiliently. It is one of the most important skills we need to develop. But all too often we wait until we need it to determine if we’ve got it. The reality is that it doesn’t work that way.

Like any skill, it has to be developed over time and begins with our mindset. How we perceive our world will determine how we interact with it.

That is the core essence of true resilience. We stop responding to our world and start interacting with it. We put the energy of what is happening around us to work. We harness that energy and create new opportunities. It is what I have come to think of as moving from powerless effort (responding) to effortless power (resilience).

Recently I have been part of some discussions around resilience and how we develop it. The initial questions focused on how we could determine if it is a skill we have honed or not. After all, it’s not something you can always measure or see until after it has been employed. From those conversations, we determined that there are some warning signs that may be indicators that we need to strengthen that muscle. Here are the top three:

#1 – You have a higher commitment to the plan than you do to the result.

It can be dangerous to become overly attached to the road map. After all, roads close and things change. But the end goal is still the end goal. Adjusting the sails is far better than ignoring that the course needs correction.

#2 – You have a driving need to understand the cause of something in order to assign blame, even (or especially) if it’s to yourself.

Things happen. The cause is most likely irrelevant once it happens. The true forward course is not assigning responsibility for why it happened but rather taking responsibility for what to do from there. What does this make possible? Take responsibility for that and it shifts to opportunity thinking.

#3 – Your goal list is continuously littered with casualties that don’t seem to ever cross the finish line.

When we find a trend line in something, it means there is a systemic issue causing a particular result. When the trend we see is unfinished work or unrealized goals, it usually means that we are not able to see our way through disruptions, delays or even simple distractions. By analyzing the points where we falter, we can see where we need to shore up our resiliency muscle and put intelligent creativity to work.

When we are committed to seeing the possibilities around us we naturally begin to develop our personal resiliency. Our life lens is trained to see opportunities for growing and giving in every situation. In a world where we are faced every day with uncertainty, we can thrive knowing that what is uncertain leaves room for infinite creativity.

What if the glass half empty is also half full? What if it’s both and ready for more?

Live today like you want tomorrow to be. Live well.

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Possibilities & Perspective, Resilience, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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