Life Lessons From a Potter’s Wheel

August 8, 2015 By

Balance and harmony are important in all areas of our life. When we talk about balance we tend to think in terms of balancing across each segment of our life but in truth, it matters within each of them as well. We need a balanced approach to health as an example and within our financial profile. Our personal network should be diversified and expose us to perspectives with range and depth. But balance only truly happens when we also have each area of our life in harmony with the rest.

The same is true for learning. We need to have core skill building for our professional endeavors and soft skill development overall. We also need to integrate things into the mix that are perhaps outside our standard fare and develop creative interests as well as skill. This is an area where quite frankly I have not always had the right mix. My professional development always took precedence.

I made a conscience decision to change that and begin incorporating some creativity into my learning mix and enrolled in pottery classes. Why pottery? Most likely because I love that art form and it seemed like something that would completely occupy my attention. That was after all part of the point. I wanted (and needed) a complete departure from business as usual. As a writer, I also felt that it would introduce me into a world of artists where I could also absorb some of that creative energy. And quite frankly, I thought it might be fun to play in some mud! And it has been.

I am about three months into this latest adventure and I am now without question a lifelong enthusiast. The parallels to life are there every time I sit down at the wheel or work with the clay at the table. And the miracle of what happens with glazes and the heat of the kiln are incredible.

My very first piece was a small dish that had a small bird on it since that’s my favorite collectible. It became a Mother’s Day gift for my Mom. Now a grandmother myself, it had been a long time since my gift to her was something made by my own hand. It felt so good to do that. And the gift has a richer meaning for her as well.

What lessons have I learned? Here are my top five:

  1. When we are willing to become a beginner at something, we renew our true love of learning
  2. Even the simplest of materials can and do have the potential for creating beauty
  3. To make things happen we have to be willing to take some risks and get our hands dirty
  4. Pressure and heat create strength and transformation
  5. We all sign our work in one way or another

If you were asked to choose something new to learn, what would you choose? Consider giving yourself, or someone you love that gift. It truly is priceless.

Live (learn) today like you want tomorrow to be. Live (learn) well.

Filed Under: Inspiration & Creativity, Learning & Growth, Personal thoughts & insights, Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Always Start With Yes!

August 3, 2015 By

As a strategist, one of the key areas where I work with clients is on saying no: How to say it, when to say it, why to say it. Michael E. Porter of the Harvard Business Review has even been quoted as saying that “The essence of strategy is choosing what not to do”.

The challenge is that there is a growing trend or shift in this direction that has us so focused on saying no, streamlining, simplifying, etc. that in some cases we’ve lost sight of our YES.

True strategy means that we begin with a desired end in mind. That end is our YES. The ONLY reason for NO is to keep us FOCUSED on the YES. Think about that for a moment. Do you know where your yeses are?

This insight from Henry David Thoreau came to mind as I thought about this: “It is not enough to be busy; so are the ants. The question is: What are we busy about?”

For us to be effective and live the lives we truly want to live, we need to always start with yes. What do we want? It really is about choice. What are we choosing to say yes to? That’s how you keep the NO positive. It may sound counter intuitive but it’s true. Your NO is a positive response when you have started with your YES.

Yes is all about intention. It is the absolute key for understanding the power of choice in every area of our life. When we are saying yes to love, happiness, health, balance and ease a momentum will build. We achieve more of what we focus on.

Begin today and start with your YES – keep that end in mind. The very need for no’s will start to fall away as we attract more of our yeses.

Live (say YES!) today to what you want tomorrow to be. Live (say Yes!) well!

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Personal thoughts & insights, Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Are Your Roots Showing?

July 4, 2015 By

Some time ago I participated in a coaching program led by the incomparable Pamela Slim. It was a guided excavation of our life experiences and skills in order to more effectively leverage them as building blocks for our future.

The course was within a group environment but all of the work was individualized. We were each given the same assignments to complete and then bring back to the forums and group. By sharing our work we were also learning to articulate with clarity what we had confirmed as our personal beliefs about ourselves and our vision for our lives.

Before examining our body of work, the initial focus was on our roots: our core values and beliefs. But there was an additional caveat. We also explored and shared their genesis and evolution. We can take a myriad of assessments that will help us identify and define core strengths. While those can tell us who we are now, what is often more compelling is an understanding of why or how we came to be that person. There is a critical connection between belief and skill.

Examining the source of a belief can be powerful work. It can help us explain something that drives us that we’ve never been able to see before. It can help us let go of beliefs that no longer serve us. One of the key lessons in this is that only those beliefs that are the product of our own conclusions create true change. Everything else is just a temporary persona we’ve taken on and does not reflect our true selves.

Kyle Wilson, long time business partner and friend of thought leader Jim Rohn, recently shared this quote from him with our Lessons from Network community: “Be a student not a follower. Gather all the information, then make sure what you believe and decide is the product of your own conclusions!” I clearly remember the first time I heard Jim Rohn teach this. I was listening to one of his recordings while driving to see a friend. It spoke to me with such resonance that I stopped the car to listen again; and then again. It remains what I consider to be one of the most important entries in my personal journal and a core element of my own life philosophy.

When we take the time to know ourselves and take responsibility for our personal beliefs it enables us to embrace the incredible person that we are. It is then, and only then that we can tap into our unlimited capacity to grow and expand. It transforms our entire landscape of opportunity.

Find your roots. And then let them show! Allow yourself the gift of some magnificent obsessions around what matters to you and your role in the world.

When you do, you will also find the passion you need to live today like you want tomorrow to be. Live well.

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Possibilities & Perspective, Success & Significance, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Welcome Distinguished Guests – A message for us all!

June 7, 2015 By

graduates hatThis is the season. A season mixed with endings and beginnings.

Our institutions of learning around the world, and perhaps more importantly within each of our neighborhoods are sending out groups of fresh faces and minds ready to tackle what is next in their young lives.

When the graduation is from college, or perhaps even high school, part of the exercise is also that a new group of parents or grandparents and other people that support them are also recognizing a shift in their own horizons. They have in many respects, just become unemployed. A variety of emotions and thoughts swirl around us.

One of my nephews graduated from high school this weekend. He will begin college in the fall. For my brother, his Dad, there is a touch of sadness at this growing which is also a going. His love for his son mandates he celebrate. He would have it no other way. He feels (and rightly so) tremendous pride. His love for his son also mandates his tears and exacts that price as well. While genuinely happy for his son there is also sadness. As I watched his emotions I flashed back to when it was my daughter’s milestones. The emotions were the same for me.

What I have learned over my own life at these milestone moments is that what we need to express to those that leave and those that remain is essentially the same. Our words to our graduates are the same admonitions that are true for those that have loved them and nurtured them to this point in their lives. These moments are not endings. They are beginnings. For everyone involved. Orrin Hatch said it well when he said that there is a good reason the very occasions themselves are called commencement exercises. It is a time of beginnings. And that is the real reason to celebrate. It is a time of beginnings for all of us.

As I thought about that and did some research into what we say at these events I found some words of wisdom that crossed the aisles of those in attendance. Here are five quotes that can speak to every person in the room. And perhaps even especially to those that may not understand that the beginnings are as much for them as those in caps and gowns.

“As you start your journey, the first thing you should do is throw away that store-bought map and begin to draw your own.” Michael Dell, CEO, Dell Computers, University of Texas at Austin, 2003

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary…Stay hungry. Stay foolish.”Steve Jobs, Stanford University, 2005

“Use your life in the service somehow to others and give back what you have been given. That’s how you keep it. That’s how you get it. That’s how you grow it.” Oprah Winfrey, Howard University, 2007

“There’s no there. That elusive ‘there’ with the job, the beach house, the dream, it’s not out there. There is here. It’s in you, right now.” Brian Kenny, Ohio Northern University, 2007

“Celebrate what you’ve accomplished, but raise the bar a little higher each time you succeed.” Mia Hamm, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, 2014

We are all starting a new season. And we are all on some level, somewhat afraid of what that means. When I come to these places in life I am reminded of the words of Marianne Williamson in her book: A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Live today like you want tomorrow to be. Live well.

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Personal thoughts & insights, Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

List, List, Who’s Got a List?

May 31, 2015 By

If I were to ask you if you have a “To Do List”, there is a high probability that you would say yes.

It might be on paper, on your smart phone or be a mental check list but most of us operate day to day based on what we think we need to get done.

And somewhere in there, we usually have a list!

First let’s agree that there is absolutely nothing wrong with a to-do list. In fact it’s an effective tool. All of the studies on productivity stand by the importance of being organized for strategic action.

And frankly there is satisfaction in working from a list. I’ve even been known to add things to my list after they were done just so I can cross them off! We like being able to see what we’re getting done.

It may be time, however to consider some strategies beyond just what we’re going to do. Here is a list (pun intended) of four other lists that can create a marked difference in staying on track for reaching our goals:

  1. To Be List – After all, it’s not about where we’re going that is the real point. For example, when talking about financial goals, Jim Rohn taught that becoming wealthy wasn’t the true reward. The true reward for anything we accomplish of significance is the person we have to become in order to get there that really matters. When we define that, we are in fact creating our “to be” list. Who do we want to be? Just by claiming those values and personal attributes changes our perspective and as a result, our day and ultimately our life is also changed.
  2. To Learn List – It’s important to recognize where we have a knowledge gap in any area where we will be making critical decisions or our personal performance has a crucial influence on our outcomes. And sometimes it’s just about acknowledging where we have curiosity and interest. Both are important factors in our personal development. It’s also crucial as leaders to remain active students. I recently had the privilege of hearing Jeffrey Gitomer speak and he had this to share: “If you want to stay the best at what you do, you have to stay a student of what you do.” In the curiosity department, this can and should extend beyond skills for our work. Here is where we need to step outside of our comfort zone and move into some adventure! I’ve been doing that of late and it has added a depth and dimension to my life I did not anticipate that has been immensely satisfying.
  3. To Know List – The building of an effective personal network, a core inner circle of influence is perhaps the strategy that has proven most invaluable for me. Going back to Jim Rohn’s teachings for a moment, he proposed that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with in any area of our life. That has proven true time and time again. It becomes clear where our circles may need to evolve. When we are intentional with the wisdom and depth we are bringing into our lives, the results are nothing short of life-changing.
  4. Not To Do List – Oh yes! This one is at times the hardest! And yes, for me it addresses some “not to do behaviors” like eating sugars or drinking Diet Coke. But it goes well beyond health practices. This list forces an acknowledgement that some things on the “To Do List” need to be moved to the “To Delegate” and even “To Delete” lists. Michael E. Porter (Harvard Business Review) our modern day father of strategy had this to offer when he was asked to define strategy: “The essence of strategy is choosing what not to do.” I find that extraordinarily insightful. Being strategic requires a filter for what we are not going to do to hold the space we need for what we must do! We have to keep life clutter at bay in order to keep the path clear.

These four lists are making a marked difference in my life. Perhaps they will for you, too. Why are they important? Because with each of them we are required to think about what it is we want something to be in the end. It forces us to reach ahead in our vision to see the person we want to become and think about what it’s going to take to achieve that outcome in our lives.

Live (list) today what you want tomorrow to be. Then live (list) well!

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Personal thoughts & insights, Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Happy Mother’s Day – A personal reflection on living a life that matters

May 10, 2015 By

potter and studentAs I write this week’s post it is Mother’s Day.  I’ve spent the day with my Mom along with my three brothers and their families. Because of today’s technology, even though my sister was in New York, we were able to have her “join” us through a video call. All five siblings were together to honor my Mom on this day set apart for that purpose.

These marks in time also prompt me to pause and reflect on how blessed my life continues to be.

My personal values have their origin in the teachings and experiences of growing up in a nurturing environment rich in love and high in expectation. By certain standards, it may have appeared that we were really just an average family. We were certainly not rich financially. And yet, we did not live average lives and still do not. There was always an expectation (and example) to continuously grow into more as contributors in our community.

Because of that, we continue to be rich beyond measure. I am so very grateful for that.

The legacies left to us from the lives of multiple generations have instilled a love of family, compassion for others and a sense of responsibility for living an honorable life. A direct legacy from my parents focused on a passion to always strive to grow in knowledge and service. I’ve recognized lately the genesis is here for why I am so driven to keep learning and growing. The distinction though is that it’s not just for the sake of accumulating knowledge. It is to be able to more effectively serve.

I believe that is the key for all of us. This again goes to why I feel so strongly about the value of strategy. We must focus on why we do what we do; why we think the way we do; why we respond as we do. Because those are the questions we must keep asking ourselves in order to achieve the results we want and need.

My message today is very simple and comes from my heart. We each need to know who we want to be. That is the foundation of everything. What are the core values we want to serve because that is ultimately who we become. From there, we just need to keep our lives on a path that provides us with the opportunity to serve those values. It is a much clearer path than we might believe.

The life clutter falls away when we get clear on this one point: Who do we want to be and is that who we are? If so, how do we put those values into service? If not, what steps do we need to take in order to grow into that person? What knowledge and skills do we need to gain? What people do we need to be surrounding ourselves with in order to grow into that person? The question must be asked and answered throughout our life.

Success is empty without a purpose. Success must be invested in something bigger than what it is on its own to be fully realized. That is what I’ve learned and now share with you. This is my vision for my own life and my mission in helping you in yours. There is more value in the rest of your story than you can possibly imagine. That to me is exciting news!

Live today like you want tomorrow to be. For yourself and for those that follow you. I am so blessed and grateful that my own great-grandparents, grandparents and parents all did just that. They were always living forward. They enjoyed their moment in time and invested it in the future. I am so honored to continue to shine a light on that path.

Live well.

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Personal thoughts & insights, Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , , , ,
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