Perfect Just the Way You Are? Perhaps, Perhaps Not!

September 7, 2015 By

You are perfect just the way you are! Now that I am a Nana to some pretty spectacular grand-daughters, this is a sentiment that I express on a regular basis. And I absolutely mean it. Those girls are perfection and I will never believe otherwise. Just ask them! You may get a bit of an eye roll from the teenager but no argument that their Nana is their number one fan! Biased? You bet.

For the most part though, we all know that perfection is in reality a myth. Even if seemingly achieved for a moment, it is illusive, interpretive and does not serve us as an ideal.

It’s certainly not true for me. I am constantly looking (and finding!) ways to improve myself. My focus and lens then remains with possibilities. I want to know that I am continuously moving into my growing potential. One of my favorite quotes speaks to this and comes from Emily Dickinson: “Dwell in possibility.” This is a truly fantastic way to live; to see the world and ourselves.

Did you know that September is self-improvement month? A perfect time for us to pause and create a plan for that pursuit of possibilities. With that said, where do we begin? Allow me to offer a thought to help. Don’t make a list. Don’t start there. That simply does not work. We can quickly become overwhelmed and start thinking in probabilities instead of possibilities.

Instead choose one area of your life where you want to see growth and change. It can be a personal discipline, a relationship, a skill. But choose one and begin there. Just focus there. Then choose one immediate action you can take and one continuous habit you can develop over time. One target, two action plans. Begin there.

That’s the “secret sauce” if there is any. Skip the analysis on this one and go right with your instinct and pick one. Because the good news is that you’ll be able to pick another one. And quickly! So don’t worry about whether or not it’s the “right” choice. Just make “a” choice and get started.

Continuous self-improvement is our fuel in any month. That is because the only motivation in life that works every time is this: Progress. So let’s create some progress. And with that, we are creating our own internal fire and motivation for more. And we are well on our way to realizing those possibilities!

Live (improve) today like you want tomorrow to be. Live (improve) well!

 

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Your Journal: A Personal Textbook for Life’s Journey

August 23, 2015 By

A core personal practice that has been one of the key contributors to my personal growth is journaling. This subject came up recently at a master mind group and it was a reminder that not everyone may know about how powerful this practice can be.

Although it began for me as a young girl (Remember your first diary?) writing everyday about my life and how my world was coming into (or out of!) focus has had its own evolution over the years.

If this is not a practice you employ, I would urge you to consider adding this to your personal development toolbox.

From my experience, the best way to begin journaling is to choose a primary starting purpose for your journal. There are many different ways to use them and over time you will most likely incorporate all of them but to begin, just choose one. Some possibilities include collecting ideas, quotes and reflective thoughts or even a gratitude journal where you record something to be thankful for each day.

The one I like best as a starting point though is the one recommended by Jim Rohn whom I consider to be the best teacher on this particular skill: Recording your challenges and the process you follow to their resolution.

There are a number of reasons why this is effective but primarily it is about creating a space between you and the challenge. When we take the time to write the challenge down, it gets it out of our head and to a place where we can “see” it from a different perspective. Have you ever noticed that the closer we are to something the harder it can be to see it clearly? Getting it on paper and out of your head creates space and the ability to look at it from a different point of view.

When we review the challenge as we’ve written it down, we can begin to see how things really are vs. just how we might have perceived them to be. Surprises will definitely be in store! First we write, then we read and in the end, we analyze.

Here are the four cornerstones of the analyzing process that Jim Rohn teaches:

  1. Look for points that may be exaggerated and out of proportion.
  2. Check for blame vs. responsibility.
  3. Eliminate any expectations that circumstances or people are going to change in order to make the challenge go away. (A favorite quote from Jim has always been: “Things get better when we get better.”)
  4. Look for weak points in the obstacle that could be creative pivot points for the solution.

When we see any challenge through this adjusted lens, different levels of truth emerge. Then when we record all of this and begin to move through to our solution and record that as we go, it becomes a veritable personal textbook for life.

In time, quite often all it will take is one good session with your journal to find a solution or help you make a core decision that would have never been captured any other way.

It will be invaluable for you as you live today like you want tomorrow to be.

Now back to my journal…

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Life Lessons From a Potter’s Wheel

August 8, 2015 By

Balance and harmony are important in all areas of our life. When we talk about balance we tend to think in terms of balancing across each segment of our life but in truth, it matters within each of them as well. We need a balanced approach to health as an example and within our financial profile. Our personal network should be diversified and expose us to perspectives with range and depth. But balance only truly happens when we also have each area of our life in harmony with the rest.

The same is true for learning. We need to have core skill building for our professional endeavors and soft skill development overall. We also need to integrate things into the mix that are perhaps outside our standard fare and develop creative interests as well as skill. This is an area where quite frankly I have not always had the right mix. My professional development always took precedence.

I made a conscience decision to change that and begin incorporating some creativity into my learning mix and enrolled in pottery classes. Why pottery? Most likely because I love that art form and it seemed like something that would completely occupy my attention. That was after all part of the point. I wanted (and needed) a complete departure from business as usual. As a writer, I also felt that it would introduce me into a world of artists where I could also absorb some of that creative energy. And quite frankly, I thought it might be fun to play in some mud! And it has been.

I am about three months into this latest adventure and I am now without question a lifelong enthusiast. The parallels to life are there every time I sit down at the wheel or work with the clay at the table. And the miracle of what happens with glazes and the heat of the kiln are incredible.

My very first piece was a small dish that had a small bird on it since that’s my favorite collectible. It became a Mother’s Day gift for my Mom. Now a grandmother myself, it had been a long time since my gift to her was something made by my own hand. It felt so good to do that. And the gift has a richer meaning for her as well.

What lessons have I learned? Here are my top five:

  1. When we are willing to become a beginner at something, we renew our true love of learning
  2. Even the simplest of materials can and do have the potential for creating beauty
  3. To make things happen we have to be willing to take some risks and get our hands dirty
  4. Pressure and heat create strength and transformation
  5. We all sign our work in one way or another

If you were asked to choose something new to learn, what would you choose? Consider giving yourself, or someone you love that gift. It truly is priceless.

Live (learn) today like you want tomorrow to be. Live (learn) well.

Filed Under: Inspiration & Creativity, Learning & Growth, Personal thoughts & insights, Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Always Start With Yes!

August 3, 2015 By

As a strategist, one of the key areas where I work with clients is on saying no: How to say it, when to say it, why to say it. Michael E. Porter of the Harvard Business Review has even been quoted as saying that “The essence of strategy is choosing what not to do”.

The challenge is that there is a growing trend or shift in this direction that has us so focused on saying no, streamlining, simplifying, etc. that in some cases we’ve lost sight of our YES.

True strategy means that we begin with a desired end in mind. That end is our YES. The ONLY reason for NO is to keep us FOCUSED on the YES. Think about that for a moment. Do you know where your yeses are?

This insight from Henry David Thoreau came to mind as I thought about this: “It is not enough to be busy; so are the ants. The question is: What are we busy about?”

For us to be effective and live the lives we truly want to live, we need to always start with yes. What do we want? It really is about choice. What are we choosing to say yes to? That’s how you keep the NO positive. It may sound counter intuitive but it’s true. Your NO is a positive response when you have started with your YES.

Yes is all about intention. It is the absolute key for understanding the power of choice in every area of our life. When we are saying yes to love, happiness, health, balance and ease a momentum will build. We achieve more of what we focus on.

Begin today and start with your YES – keep that end in mind. The very need for no’s will start to fall away as we attract more of our yeses.

Live (say YES!) today to what you want tomorrow to be. Live (say Yes!) well!

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Personal thoughts & insights, Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Are Your Roots Showing?

July 4, 2015 By

Some time ago I participated in a coaching program led by the incomparable Pamela Slim. It was a guided excavation of our life experiences and skills in order to more effectively leverage them as building blocks for our future.

The course was within a group environment but all of the work was individualized. We were each given the same assignments to complete and then bring back to the forums and group. By sharing our work we were also learning to articulate with clarity what we had confirmed as our personal beliefs about ourselves and our vision for our lives.

Before examining our body of work, the initial focus was on our roots: our core values and beliefs. But there was an additional caveat. We also explored and shared their genesis and evolution. We can take a myriad of assessments that will help us identify and define core strengths. While those can tell us who we are now, what is often more compelling is an understanding of why or how we came to be that person. There is a critical connection between belief and skill.

Examining the source of a belief can be powerful work. It can help us explain something that drives us that we’ve never been able to see before. It can help us let go of beliefs that no longer serve us. One of the key lessons in this is that only those beliefs that are the product of our own conclusions create true change. Everything else is just a temporary persona we’ve taken on and does not reflect our true selves.

Kyle Wilson, long time business partner and friend of thought leader Jim Rohn, recently shared this quote from him with our Lessons from Network community: “Be a student not a follower. Gather all the information, then make sure what you believe and decide is the product of your own conclusions!” I clearly remember the first time I heard Jim Rohn teach this. I was listening to one of his recordings while driving to see a friend. It spoke to me with such resonance that I stopped the car to listen again; and then again. It remains what I consider to be one of the most important entries in my personal journal and a core element of my own life philosophy.

When we take the time to know ourselves and take responsibility for our personal beliefs it enables us to embrace the incredible person that we are. It is then, and only then that we can tap into our unlimited capacity to grow and expand. It transforms our entire landscape of opportunity.

Find your roots. And then let them show! Allow yourself the gift of some magnificent obsessions around what matters to you and your role in the world.

When you do, you will also find the passion you need to live today like you want tomorrow to be. Live well.

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Possibilities & Perspective, Success & Significance, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Welcome Distinguished Guests – A message for us all!

June 7, 2015 By

graduates hatThis is the season. A season mixed with endings and beginnings.

Our institutions of learning around the world, and perhaps more importantly within each of our neighborhoods are sending out groups of fresh faces and minds ready to tackle what is next in their young lives.

When the graduation is from college, or perhaps even high school, part of the exercise is also that a new group of parents or grandparents and other people that support them are also recognizing a shift in their own horizons. They have in many respects, just become unemployed. A variety of emotions and thoughts swirl around us.

One of my nephews graduated from high school this weekend. He will begin college in the fall. For my brother, his Dad, there is a touch of sadness at this growing which is also a going. His love for his son mandates he celebrate. He would have it no other way. He feels (and rightly so) tremendous pride. His love for his son also mandates his tears and exacts that price as well. While genuinely happy for his son there is also sadness. As I watched his emotions I flashed back to when it was my daughter’s milestones. The emotions were the same for me.

What I have learned over my own life at these milestone moments is that what we need to express to those that leave and those that remain is essentially the same. Our words to our graduates are the same admonitions that are true for those that have loved them and nurtured them to this point in their lives. These moments are not endings. They are beginnings. For everyone involved. Orrin Hatch said it well when he said that there is a good reason the very occasions themselves are called commencement exercises. It is a time of beginnings. And that is the real reason to celebrate. It is a time of beginnings for all of us.

As I thought about that and did some research into what we say at these events I found some words of wisdom that crossed the aisles of those in attendance. Here are five quotes that can speak to every person in the room. And perhaps even especially to those that may not understand that the beginnings are as much for them as those in caps and gowns.

“As you start your journey, the first thing you should do is throw away that store-bought map and begin to draw your own.” Michael Dell, CEO, Dell Computers, University of Texas at Austin, 2003

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary…Stay hungry. Stay foolish.”Steve Jobs, Stanford University, 2005

“Use your life in the service somehow to others and give back what you have been given. That’s how you keep it. That’s how you get it. That’s how you grow it.” Oprah Winfrey, Howard University, 2007

“There’s no there. That elusive ‘there’ with the job, the beach house, the dream, it’s not out there. There is here. It’s in you, right now.” Brian Kenny, Ohio Northern University, 2007

“Celebrate what you’ve accomplished, but raise the bar a little higher each time you succeed.” Mia Hamm, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, 2014

We are all starting a new season. And we are all on some level, somewhat afraid of what that means. When I come to these places in life I am reminded of the words of Marianne Williamson in her book: A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Live today like you want tomorrow to be. Live well.

Filed Under: Learning & Growth, Personal thoughts & insights, Possibilities & Perspective, Winds of Change Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,
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