To live your best life - live your best day.
There are so many blessings for which I am thankful. Being able to be a part of your life is one of them. Thank you for sharing the journey.
Live today like you want tomorrow to be. Live well.
There is a story that has held my attention for many years. When I first heard it I was too young to understand the true value of the lesson it held. Somehow though I did recognize it as a story that mattered and it has stayed with me.
A certain world record was broken in 1954.
The record itself is not the reason the story captured my attention. What captured my attention was the fact that once the record was broken, within 46 days it would be broken again.
A feat that alluded so many for so long suddenly became the standard instead of just an aspiration.
The four-minute mile. Two men in 1954 ran a race that changed the possibilities for every runner thereafter because of the barrier that was broken. Many in fact have since achieved even better, faster times.
What I have learned from my own personal experience is that it can be hard being the first person to break a barrier. You fight against unbelievable odds and quite often have far more naysayers than champions on your path.
But when you win; ah when you win you are forever the first. It is something that stands the test of time, even when others improve upon your work. The achievement is remembered.
We are surrounded by many such heroes today. We are privileged to live in a time when many have achieved new firsts, set new standards in nearly every area and discipline.
Those heroes represent more than hope. They also embody purpose. When you combine purpose and hope you go well beyond what we might consider powerful. You are in miracle territory. That is where I believe we are today.
It is the culmination of effort and progressive moments that have brought us to where we now find ourselves. No single act or event has moved us to this point. Many more great moments lie ahead because of what we will choose, even aspire to continue to build. The compounding effect of what is good and purposeful remains within and among us.
I am continuously reminded that each time a runner entered a race after that day in 1954 they knew that it was possible to do better. And so they did. The barrier could not go back in place. It was forever banished. A new possibility was born.
Once of my favorite quotes from C. S. Lewis talks about the fact that while it might be hard for an egg to turn into a bird, it would be much harder for it to learn to fly if it remained an egg. I would take it a step further and say that once hatched, what is now impossible is for that bird to go back to just being an ordinary egg. No, once the barrier is broken there is only one thing left for the bird to do: Fly!
Where will you be first?
Live today like you want tomorrow to be. Live well.
Recently I experienced a situation where fear was an unexpected partner in the dance. Not in an obvious way, but definitely present. In fact, I doubt that anyone involved (including me) recognized at the onset that fear was part of the equation.
I was reminded in that situation that we cannot change what we cannot see. And we won’t see what we are afraid to see. That means that before we can fully experience resiliency in our lives, we must be able to move past fear.
There it is – FEAR. Regardless of how we define success, before we can fully achieve and sustain it we must develop a healthy relationship with fear. Wisdom teaches us that fear can be a positive energy, a partner for change. But before that can happen, we need to engage fear as our ally.
The first step is to recognize that all of us experience fear. Let’s get some clarity about the many faces and flavors of fear. As I was researching this I found at least 45 synonyms for the word fear from one search. 45! That’s quite a few flavors. And when you move on to all of the additional terms and phrases, the list is literally endless. That tells us something. We get to choose some things about fear in any given situation. We get to put a specific name to our fear. Once we do that, it becomes easier to see it within a context that will allow us to counter and/or leverage it.
The second step is remembering that fear is a basic human emotion. We are born with fear as a primal response in recognition of danger and for self-preservation. Fear is designed in its basic form to serve us. Over time though, we can allow fear to become the danger itself and to be self-limiting. We need to remember that fear is not an absolute predictor; fear is just an alert mechanism that tells us we need to look at something more carefully before making our choice. Going back to our first point, remember that in this context, fear does not have to remain a reflexive response. Fear can create choices in how we respond. As with any choice, once we recognize we are in a decision moment we know by default we have the power to make a different choice.
But still, claiming fear as an ally can be daunting. After all, it is an incredibly powerful emotion. It can distort our vision, perception and ability to act. In some cases, the fear is clearly invalid and we are able to just choose another response. But in most cases, we will need to engage with our fear and allow it to guide us back to our personal power. That is done using the right questions.
For example, if you are timid (afraid!) in certain situations it most likely won’t be as simple as “I will choose confidence over being timid”. Most likely, there is an underlying reason you are timid. The key will be to ask yourself what steps you need to take to develop confidence. Instead of focusing on the fear (being timid), focus on the alternative (confidence). First you will have to identify where you lack confidence. You will be able to look at what kinds of situations bring out that timidity and determine why and develop those skills to remove the fear. With that, fear becomes your ally. It lights the way for you to see where you lack confidence so you can take productive measures to restore it. You can then thank your fear for its service and send it on its way!
What about some of the more ambiguous forms of fear such as unease? What is it about this situation creating unease for me? Are those things true? If so, are there steps I can take to be at ease? If so, what are they? Take those steps, thank your fear (unease) for its service and send it on its way! If you cannot define steps that will help you feel at ease, recognize your unease as a “do not enter” warning”, thank your fear (unease) for its service and send it on its way!
This is a life skill that can serve us in so many situations. Just remember that skill grows from use over time, not time alone. Put this into practice!
When we embrace fear for what it is meant to be – an alert to potential danger – we can leverage it to change outcomes and set ourselves up more effectively for success.
Live today like you want tomorrow to be. Live well!
It’s easy to say that we are resilient. It’s much more challenging to live resiliently. It is one of the most important skills we need to develop. But all too often we wait until we need it to determine if we’ve got it. The reality is that it doesn’t work that way.
Like any skill, it has to be developed over time and begins with our mindset. How we perceive our world will determine how we interact with it.
That is the core essence of true resilience. We stop responding to our world and start interacting with it. We put the energy of what is happening around us to work. We harness that energy and create new opportunities. It is what I have come to think of as moving from powerless effort (responding) to effortless power (resilience).
Recently I have been part of some discussions around resilience and how we develop it. The initial questions focused on how we could determine if it is a skill we have honed or not. After all, it’s not something you can always measure or see until after it has been employed. From those conversations, we determined that there are some warning signs that may be indicators that we need to strengthen that muscle. Here are the top three:
#1 – You have a higher commitment to the plan than you do to the result.
It can be dangerous to become overly attached to the road map. After all, roads close and things change. But the end goal is still the end goal. Adjusting the sails is far better than ignoring that the course needs correction.
#2 – You have a driving need to understand the cause of something in order to assign blame, even (or especially) if it’s to yourself.
Things happen. The cause is most likely irrelevant once it happens. The true forward course is not assigning responsibility for why it happened but rather taking responsibility for what to do from there. What does this make possible? Take responsibility for that and it shifts to opportunity thinking.
#3 – Your goal list is continuously littered with casualties that don’t seem to ever cross the finish line.
When we find a trend line in something, it means there is a systemic issue causing a particular result. When the trend we see is unfinished work or unrealized goals, it usually means that we are not able to see our way through disruptions, delays or even simple distractions. By analyzing the points where we falter, we can see where we need to shore up our resiliency muscle and put intelligent creativity to work.
When we are committed to seeing the possibilities around us we naturally begin to develop our personal resiliency. Our life lens is trained to see opportunities for growing and giving in every situation. In a world where we are faced every day with uncertainty, we can thrive knowing that what is uncertain leaves room for infinite creativity.
What if the glass half empty is also half full? What if it’s both and ready for more?
Live today like you want tomorrow to be. Live well.
Resilience is demonstrated by what we create from our experiences in life. And with that, what we create has everything to do with our perspective. As Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you are right.” This is particularly true when we touch on what we create. Perhaps you don’t even see yourself as someone who “creates” but I can assure you that you are. Each of us is a creative and we all have an innate need to create. It goes well beyond what we might think of as creative for art, music, writing, etc. Even within those disciplines, the basics already exist. It is what we make of them that becomes our creation.
A teacher creates a learning experience. A mother (or father) creates a home. A musician creates a performance. A photographer creates an image. A writer creates a story or message. A leader creates a team. Each takes something and through their own unique application transforms it into something else.
But there is more to this that merits consideration. Here is a thought provoking insight from Picasso that transcends the original application intended beyond art:
“There are painters who transform the sun to a yellow spot, but there are others who with the help of their art and their intelligence, transform a yellow spot into the sun.”
No matter what we create, the transformation can either deliver brilliance or diminish the light. We each have that choice. We each have that power.
This is also true of our lives. We can allow our brilliance to diminish to that yellow spot. Or through curiosity, creativity and intelligence we can transform our lives into bright shining suns of endless possibilities.
The real insight is that in both cases, it is not about resources, talent or skill. It is about perspective and choice. What do you see? What do you create?
Live (Create!) today what you want to tomorrow to be.
In her latest guide to growth, happiness, and success, Kathi Laughman challenges readers to ask what new possibilities are waiting to be explored in the wake of disruptive change.
